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Old 12-03-2018, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,719 posts, read 16,775,153 times
Reputation: 41862

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
well, then please stay offended. <shrug>

There is really nothing else to say.

Hopefully, everybody in the world has read this thread and they all understand the point you are making. lol

Lesson number one, speak only English to Asians in America.

I shared a story earlier, funny nobody has commented on it, so I need to tell it again.

I saw a white guy asking an Asian woman "Excuse me, Can you speak Chinese" in the mall once. The Asian woman acted like she has just been violated or attacked. She answered very angrily, "I was born in California, plus, I have a boyfriend already."

Turned out, the white gentleman is a doctor, and he just wanted somebody translating for him because a Chinese lady with limited English skills needed some medical attention.

My own uncle used to be a doctor without borders. He is white, and many people have asked him questions like, "Are you American? Are you French, etc, etc, etc" People just wanted to get to know him because he was NICE, that is all. sheesh





Yep, people are so guarded any more that they look for reasons to be offended. People need to chill and loosen up a little !

I have people who ask me questions all the time, and I realize they are just interested in me and want to talk.
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Old 03-16-2019, 11:59 PM
 
1 posts, read 518 times
Reputation: 15
There appears to be some sort of double standard, for people of Asian descent especially. Why don't people get straight up spoken to in German, Afrikaans, Turkish, or Russian just based on how their face looks?

There are 2nd, 3rd...n-th generation Americans who happen to be ethnically Korean or Filipino, as there are Americans who happen to be ethnically Bulgarian or English. Are Koreans and Filipinos always going to be assumed to have strong ties to their ancestral land and not fully American, even if they were the
76,478th generation? One can only hope that this will not be the case.

At best the type of scenario OP experienced is confusing and smells of ignorance, and at worst it's rather patronizing and paints people as walking stereotypes.
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Old 03-18-2019, 02:17 PM
 
892 posts, read 481,068 times
Reputation: 704
ignorance abounds in any area with strangers.
my mother is assumed to be from "Dutch land" and speak "Hollandtalk"--all assumed with a perfectly straight face.
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Old 03-21-2019, 02:13 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,765 posts, read 40,091,372 times
Reputation: 18071
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
well, then please stay offended. <shrug>

There is really nothing else to say.

Hopefully, everybody in the world has read this thread and they all understand the point you are making. lol

Lesson number one, speak only English to Asians in America.

I shared a story earlier, funny nobody has commented on it, so I need to tell it again.

I saw a white guy asking an Asian woman "Excuse me, Can you speak Chinese" in the mall once. The Asian woman acted like she has just been violated or attacked. She answered very angrily, "I was born in California, plus, I have a boyfriend already."

Turned out, the white gentleman is a doctor, and he just wanted somebody translating for him because a Chinese lady with limited English skills needed some medical attention.

My own uncle used to be a doctor without borders. He is white, and many people have asked him questions like, "Are you American? Are you French, etc, etc, etc" People just wanted to get to know him because he was NICE, that is all. sheesh
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
[/color]Yep, people are so guarded any more that they look for reasons to be offended. People need to chill and loosen up a little !

I have people who ask me questions all the time, and I realize they are just interested in me and want to talk.
Yesterday at work, a guest tried out his Hawaiian on me. Then he also switched to Cantonese Chinese.

I also realized that this is something that it's mostly men doing to women. It's an opening line, a flirt. And it's an indirect way of indicating and showing off that they are well-traveled, a man of the world.

But on the other hand... the average white, Hispanic or black woman LOVES to be flirted with, all of their lives. They love to know that men are still interested in them sexually. However, I would say that a traditionally raised Asian woman with their more conservative upbringing, is not that interested in male flattery, especially after she is married. We just see no point in getting happily excited that we are still attractive to the opposite sex when we are "off the market".
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Old 03-21-2019, 05:37 PM
 
6,282 posts, read 4,166,669 times
Reputation: 24756
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangechips View Post
There appears to be some sort of double standard, for people of Asian descent especially. Why don't people get straight up spoken to in German, Afrikaans, Turkish, or Russian just based on how their face looks?

There are 2nd, 3rd...n-th generation Americans who happen to be ethnically Korean or Filipino, as there are Americans who happen to be ethnically Bulgarian or English. Are Koreans and Filipinos always going to be assumed to have strong ties to their ancestral land and not fully American, even if they were the
76,478th generation? One can only hope that this will not be the case.

At best the type of scenario OP experienced is confusing and smells of ignorance, and at worst it's rather patronizing and paints people as walking stereotypes.

I’ve had people ask me if I’m German, africaan, Australian, and Spanish speakers try to speak to me in Spanish. I’m none of those but I never got in a snit about it.
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Old 03-22-2019, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
561 posts, read 322,394 times
Reputation: 1732
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Many of us are ignorant about those who are different, and interactions like this I think keep people from really getting to know each other because they are afraid of making a blunder like this.
Very much this. I worked with a man of Asian decent and I was very curious to know what country his family was from because I do not just assume everyone Asian is Chinese or everyone Hispanic is Mexican, etc. I never had the nerve to ask however, because he was the type to act offended about things like that and then say he was joking but did it in a manner that still seemed like he was offended. For example someone asked (not him specifically but a group of 4 or 5 of us) if anyone had tried the new restaurant which happened to be Chinese and he said in an annoyed tone "I suppose you assume I like Chinese food???" and then said "aww I'm just kidding" but still sounded annoyed. Anyway I was afraid to ever ask him anything about himself.
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Old 03-22-2019, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Somewhere
2,216 posts, read 2,925,383 times
Reputation: 4645
I think this man was just genuinely trying to be nice to you and you turned around and were rude to him for what reason especially when you knew what he was saying to you!! In a way, you too are also assuming that just because this man was white that he has lived in the US all this time. Maybe he has been living in various places in Asia most of his life and just got a job transfer to CA.

I also don't find it too surprising when CA offers the drivers test in 32 languages and so many of the shopping centers are in foreign languages. There is a reason why....because MANY people there DO speak other languages.
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:06 PM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,567,314 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Yesterday at work, a guest tried out his Hawaiian on me. Then he also switched to Cantonese Chinese.

I also realized that this is something that it's mostly men doing to women. It's an opening line, a flirt. And it's an indirect way of indicating and showing off that they are well-traveled, a man of the world.

But on the other hand... the average white, Hispanic or black woman LOVES to be flirted with, all of their lives. They love to know that men are still interested in them sexually. However, I would say that a traditionally raised Asian woman with their more conservative upbringing, is not that interested in male flattery, especially after she is married. We just see no point in getting happily excited that we are still attractive to the opposite sex when we are "off the market".
No, this isn’t a fact. You’re stereotyping.
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:56 PM
 
6,282 posts, read 4,166,669 times
Reputation: 24756
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post

But on the other hand... the average white, Hispanic or black woman LOVES to be flirted with, all of their lives. They love to know that men are still interested in them sexually. ".
stereotyping claptrap.
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Old 03-24-2019, 11:02 PM
 
Location: The ghetto
17,375 posts, read 8,962,351 times
Reputation: 13276
Where's the OP? Last Activity: 03-06-2019 09:58 AM
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