He Assumed I Spoke "Asian" Because Of My Race! (sister, introducing)
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The OP is making an assumption that the white person for whom he held the door is not a native speaker of Mandarin or Cantonese (or whichever one it is that uses "xie xie.")
OK, to be serious, I understand why the OP might find this to be a little annoying. He is being treated as a foreigner in his own country, instead of someone who is as American as the person for whom he was holding the door. I believe that Asian-Americans refer to it as the "perpetual foreigner syndrome" or something like that. And yes, I can see where it would be annoying.
But nevertheless, the choice of how he reacts is entirely upon the OP. It seems to me that the easiest solution in this case would have been simply to respond "You're welcome" (in English) and move on. This would demonstrate that he was aware that he was being thanked, but that he knows enough English (perhaps because he's actually American!) to be able to respond accordingly.
Or, if he's feeling a bit cheeky, he could respond in an African language and really confuse the other guy!
To play the devil's advocate, why should he have assumed you spoke english?
Because that would have been a much safer assumption, being that they are in an English speaking country. Even if she didn't speak English, "thank you" is probably the most universally understood such word (trumping merci, gracias, etc). And couldn't have possibly caused affront. What he did had potential to cause affront, and it did.
Imagine saying "gracias" to any honey-complected person without having any idea of whether they hail from a Spanish-speaking country or not. It might not offend 100% of the time, but it's bound to land wrong much of the time.
What's at debate is how *much* it should bother the recipient, (and as I said, I bet he thought she was cute and was trying to break the ice) but there's no question that it was ill-advised on the man's part.
I had a co-worker whose grandparents emigrated from China, she was 100% Chinese-American, but she spoke only English . She even got offended when Chinese-American restaurant workers, in a Chinese restaurant, spoke to her in Cantonese. She was offended that they had the NERVE to assume she might speak the language of her own family. I sort of shook my head, she was always looking for some reason to be offended or outraged, and not just about her heritage.
How about just saying "I don't understand" in English? Or in the case of the OP, since she seems to understand the words used for "thank you", why not just say "you're welcome" in English?
I've seen it happen to friends of mine. One in particular.. and this is pretty bad... she's Hispanic and has rather dark skin. Her first and only language is English and she even has a 4 year degree in it. She was with her son at the library and a woman went up to her and was wondering if she could nanny her child in Spanish. So two terrible assumptions were made based on appearances alone 1) That my friend was a nanny 2) That my friend was a nanny that spoke Spanish.
Yet this is almost what I did years ago that had a good ending. We were hosting 5 Mexican pastors at our home who didn't speak English. They wanted to go to Disneyland and I was trying to communicate when and where I would pick them up. We couldn't understand each other to that level of detail with my limited Spanish and their limited English.
I looked outside and saw a Hispanic woman pushing a stroller. I went outside and asked her if she spoke Spanish and could help us. And she did! She helped all of us, they had a wonderful day and I was able to pick them up at the correct meeting point. We were all very thankful.
I don't believe it's racist to recognize that we are all different and the US is still the melting pot. It's racist when you hate someone because they're different.
Why is OP making a big deal out of nothing?
I am bilingual and am proud that my parents took the time and effort into teaching me another language. I've been mistaken numerous times as speaking Spanish, due to my hometown and patrol area. Not once did I get offended or upset. In fact I like to brag after the fact that I was born here, and am a 1st generation American, and took the time and effort to learn my parents language.
Snowflakes melting by the hour it seems. Sheesh
I had a co-worker whose grandparents emigrated from China, she was 100% Chinese-American, but she spoke only English . She even got offended when Chinese-American restaurant workers, in a Chinese restaurant, spoke to her in Cantonese. She was offended that they had the NERVE to assume she might speak the language of her own family. I sort of shook my head, she was always looking for some reason to be offended or outraged, and not just about her heritage.
How about just saying "I don't understand" in English? Or in the case of the OP, since she seems to understand the words used for "thank you", why not just say "you're welcome" in English?
America pollutes ALL it touches...
Once reasonable people from robust balanced traditional cultures become precious snowflakes that can't withstand a slight breeze.
Look at how Irish Americans act vs. Irish from Ireland. Night and Day. Tired of the political correctness and sensitivity.
I just had breakfast over Thanksgiving at a hotel while we were traveling. We sat down at a table with a man and his two daughters, and they appeared to be Asian. We struck up a conversation, us asking questions and him asking questions, and after a while I said to him, "Where are you folks from ?", and he said "Georgia !" (not the answer I expected, but funny ! )
We continued to talk while eating, and at the end I told him my name and asked his, and he said "Mike". He was in no way offended, and we parted on friendly terms, giving him suggestions of what they might want to see in the area. I just figure he has either lived in America so long, or was born here, that he is simply Mike from Georgia !
Gwinnett County in suburban Atlanta has a notable Asian (mainly Korean) presence, and it kinda took me by surprise on a visit. It is not west coast numbers, but it is notable (most in the South if not including TX), I think about 10% Asian
Now if he had said he was from Wyoming or Kansas...
Also names. Yes I myself know a few Asian-Americans named Mike. Names can be for all races.
I know someone named Mercedes and Kitty (Asians) and also a half-Asian named Shaniqua
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