Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thinking about my situation before and after I found out my husband WILL be home on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day:
Prior to his schedule change, I was slated to be in the house by myself (aka "alone") both days. I did have the option, which didn't excite me frankly, to go over to a neighbor's house for Christmas dinner, but I wasn't sure I would even do that. I also have a brother in law and a sister in law, and we all actually like each other, who live two hours away and I'm sure that not only would they have happily included me if they knew I would be alone, I am thinking that they may actually want to coordinate with both my husband AND me.
We just haven't discussed it yet, but it's probably coming. We do usually get together with them but they just came here for Thanksgiving. So I don't know their plans for Christmas.
My husband and I were talking about this last night - what to do this year now that we have no kids nearby to spend it with and he leaves around 6 am the day after Christmas which sort of knocks out travel.
You know what I REALLY want to do? Just hang out with my husband only, and go eat at some restaurant. We are going on a little road trip next week for a few days and will buy each other a few presents and we are going to wrap them up and make each other wait till Christmas to open them.
Decisions, decisions. Not "alone," but definitely one of the smallest, most low key Christmases I can ever recall. I hope it's cold so we can light a fire and sit around listening to Christmas music or watching Christmas movies while we're sipping something hot and all wrapped up in an afghan!
There are people who struggle terribly during the holidays, people that have lost loved ones, are disconnected from friends and family, who experience intense loneliness at this time of year, only intensifying as they’re bombarded with images of people doing cosy Christmas stuff with significant others. It can be a really awful time for a lot of people.
There is help out there if you need it. There’s no stigma in asking. You can even text a qualified counsellor if you’re finding it hard to cope.
Another thing that I encourage people to do is go to some grief counseling if you've lost loved ones. Often the death of "patriarchs and matriarchs" can really upset the apple cart when it comes to family dynamics. A few sessions of grief counseling can really help prioritize things and help you get through the holidays - and all the other days.
My family is large but very scattered. When my husband's parents died within a few weeks of each other, a whole segment of his extended family created tons of legal drama, and we ended up cutting off contact. So we lost not only both his parents but his step dad's side of the family, and the loss was gradual and very, very stressful. Then my dad died, and then my mom got dementia - they got sick literally two weeks after we buried my husband's mom. So within three years, we lost a lot of traditions and we also lost that older generation and their presence at family gatherings. WE became "the old folks." Throw in "newly adult" kids and siblings who are scattered due to jobs and marriages and all that and suddenly the holiday get togethers are a lot smaller and low key and not nearly as common for that matter. A house full of activity and kids and great smells of cooking and presents piled everywhere becomes less and less common, or non existent.
It can be hard to accept very small gatherings, or being just a couple, or being alone, after having a house full of kids, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc for so many years. It can be hard for the house to be so quiet and still. But I'm glad to read this thread and realize how many people enjoy the different forms that the holidays can take.
Because there is no one way to do it right!
I loved this article. Note that the author has "options." She apparently has friends and family - they're just scattered. She described spending the holidays alone after having so many years of hosting and interacting with a wide circle of people. I love her line "Treat yourself as a cherished guest." How to Celebrate When You Are Alone for the Holidays
So today as I was walking to the supermarket I run into my neighbor and she say's " Gee I really hope you had somewhere to go for Christmas ".
I thought wow that just compounded everything into one nice little hail stone I was actually doing just fine until I heard that. She invited me over for Xmas Eve but I declined saying I didn't celebrate Xmas. I would have felt very uncomfortable with someone else family but maybe she felt hurt by my me turning the offer down.
Anyway I have several projects going on at home to keep occupied.
It's not that big of a deal. The aura surrounding Xmas and people 's expectations ARE however annoying.
We need to just cancel Christmas. I'm not big on cooking, so finding something to eat on Christmas (if I don't visit relatives) was always a big concern. This year, it was almost like business as usual. Christmas has always been a commercial holiday, but it seems like most Americans just don't even care anymore. We should just make this week a celebratory "End of the Year" thing and forget about the actual holidays.
We need to just cancel Christmas. I'm not big on cooking, so finding something to eat on Christmas (if I don't visit relatives) was always a big concern. This year, it was almost like business as usual. Christmas has always been a commercial holiday, but it seems like most Americans just don't even care anymore. We should just make this week a celebratory "End of the Year" thing and forget about the actual holidays.
No one is stopping you from doing this. As for eating on Christmas, you mean you can't go one day without eating out? (Nearly every town has at least one restaurant that's open on Christmas Day by the way, and you can always "stock up" for your one day where most things are closed, the day before.)
Christmas is only "a commercial holiday" if you make it one. In my family, it is a religious holiday and the emphasis is not on gifts - though gifts are fun. The emphasis is on what the holiday means to us religiously.
My favorite parts of Christmas have absolutely nothing to do with gifts or commercialized stuff. They also have nothing to do with getting together with family ironically. I've had all different types of celebrations through the years and in different phases of my life, but my favorite moments - every single year - are the quiet evenings laying on the sofa, looking at the twinkling lights and listening to Christmas music. Oh, and the Christmas Eve church services. My favorite song of all time, for ever and ever, regardless of the season is O Come O Come Emmanuel so I get my fill of it every Christmas season!
Please don't make this about me. I offered a light-hearted comment based on my observations this Christmas. It was largely a joke. My goodness. You guys need to stop taking life so seriously.
Please don't make this about me. I offered a light-hearted comment based on my observations this Christmas. It was largely a joke. My goodness. You guys need to stop taking life so seriously.
I'm not making this about you - I was just responding to your public post on a public forum. My goodness, that's how this stuff works. Humor sometimes doesn't translate well through the written word.
For instance, I'm actually a pretty lighthearted person myself but thanks for the concern!
I had such a great day. I went to Brothers house at 8am we did the gift thing, had hot chocolate and he baked some fresh homemade cinnamon rolls. I was out the door and home by 11am. I took a quiet little nap until around 1ish.
Got up, cooked a nice small Rib Roast and a few sides.
Munched on my Chocolate Babka and whipped shortbread cookies.
I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow at 10:30, it was the best nights sleep I've had in awhile..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was actually doing just fine until I heard that. She invited me over for Xmas Eve but I declined saying I didn't celebrate Xmas. I would have felt very uncomfortable with someone else family but maybe she felt hurt by my me turning the offer down.
Christmas has always been a commercial holiday, but it seems like most Americans just don't even care anymore. We should just make this week a celebratory "End of the Year" thing and forget about the actual holidays.
