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She wont get the message no matter how many people skip the event. That's how selfish/self-centered people operate. Likely she has no idea how tacky and ill-mannered she is.
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Originally Posted by Blondy
Amazing all the stuff people can come up with to justify bad manners lol!!!!!!!!!
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Originally Posted by Blondy
Actually, yes it is rude and ill-mannered to have these so called "house rules" whereby you try to regulate the behavior of other adults.
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Originally Posted by Blondy
Sorry, this is an often espoused premise here that I find absolutely foreign. But, it does go with the rude and ill-mannered behavior that is as well often espoused here.
Just because you repeat a phrase over and over (and over and over and...) that doesn't make it true. But as long as we're on the subject of actions that are rude and ill-mannered.....
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Originally Posted by Blondy
Sorry, if you are too stupid to know to put paper towels or some other kind of barrier between a red wine bottle and a counter, then you are just too stupid for me to be friends with.
I would not want to attend a party at someone's house where I would be aware the host is worried about something being spilled. Strange to me that someone would host a neighborhood party, while being worried about the furniture or carpet. It reminds me of friends I had years ago who were very anal about their home furnishings. Everything was white and when we went to their house, they would literally sit on the floor in front of the white sofa and chairs, sort of setting the tone that guests should follow suit. I would always plop down on the satin white sofa while everyone else sat on the floor like children. Their house, their rules? Not if you invite me
See, this wouldn't bother me at all.
I don't know if it's a lower-income thing, a blue collar thing, or whatever.
But, if someone said please don't bring red wine, I would either not go to their event, or I would.
Personally, I would go. The company would be more important to me than the booze.
Just because you repeat a phrase over and over (and over and over and...) that doesn't make it true. But as long as we're on the subject of actions that are rude and ill-mannered.....
I would agree with you if I told someone they were stupid, but I would never do that so...…..
Discussing whether or not hypothetical people at hypothetical social events where they are hypothetically staining counters from hypothetically dripping red wine bottles are intelligent or not is hardly rude.
And, as I said before, which I guess you missed, TELLING other people they are rude or ill-mannered is probably the worst etiquette failure of all.
I don’t understand why there would be such strong feelings about this. People can’t go a couple of hours without red wine? Why do they have to be judged so much for that simple request? Maybe they had a bad experience with someone with red wine in their house. What’s the big deal?
The house is approximately two years old. No older than three. Brand new construction when they moved in.
The manufacture of area rugs uses different technology, different fibers, and different backing than wall-to-wall carpets. I suspect you are referring to wall-to-wall carpets.
Most modern carpets in the price range typically installed in middle-class and upper-middle-class homes will have clay-based carpet backing that degrades in the presence of liquid (e.g., spilled wine and the typical water-based carpet cleaning systems used by run of the mill residential carpet cleaners). This isn't true of carpets from, say, 80 years ago, or of extremely high end carpeting -- say, $1000 per square yard and up.
Even among normal residential carpeting in a new house, it depends on the engineering of the fibers. Different carpet manufacturers source their polymer fibers from different fiber manufacturers, who in turn engineer its specific characteristics to its intended use.
Polymer Fiber Engineers can and have designed carpet fibers to stand up to red wine spills, and they have designed fiber cleaning chemicals and methods to to minimize long-term negative effects. Typical housing tracts do not have these carpets or fibers, of course. Most run-of-the-mill residential carpet cleaners do not use either the cleaning products or methods specified; indeed, they don't even bother to find out the manufacturer of the fibers and talk to the fiber engineers.
Most fiber engineers will tell you coffee is a more difficult staining agent to deal with than red wine. Even re-dyeing the cleaned coffee stained area is extremely difficult to do to get color correction just right.
Last edited by SportyandMisty; 12-05-2018 at 08:36 AM..
The manufacture of area rugs uses different technology, different fibers, and different backing than wall-to-wall carpets. I suspect you are referring to wall-to-wall carpets.
Most modern carpets in the price range typically installed in middle-class and upper-middle-class homes will have clay-based carpet backing that degrades in the presence of liquid (e.g., spilled wine and the typical water-based carpet cleaning systems used by run of the mill residential carpet cleaners). This isn't true of carpets from, say, 80 years ago, or of extremely high end carpeting -- say, $1000 per square yard and up.
Even among normal residential carpeting in a new house, it depends on the engineering of the fibers. Different carpet manufacturers source their polymer fibers from different fiber manufacturers, who in turn engineer its specific characteristics to its intended use.
Polymer Fiber Engineers can and have designed carpet fibers to stand up to red wine spills, and they have designed fiber cleaning chemicals and methods to to minimize long-term negative effects. Typical housing tracts do not have these carpets or fibers, of course. Most run-of-the-mill residential carpet cleaners do not use either the cleaning products or methods specified; indeed, they don't even bother to find out the manufacturer of the fibers and talk to the fiber engineers.
This is why I only have hardwood in any of my properties. Not only do I dislike the look of carpet, its just not cost effective to get one you don't have to constantly fuss over. Have a pet or a baby? Good bye decent looking carpet.
People complain about the expense of HWFs, but over time, it makes more sense. And you can spill wine all over them and never miss a beat!
Maybe it's not a matter of spilling or anything else to do with furnishings, etc. I have an alcohol sensitivity that causes my face to burn beet red and I get a severe headache. I don't even drink... if a dozen people are drinking red wine in a room, I'm affected. Hosting a party and then feeling like your face is about to burn off while your head is pounding is unpleasant... and if it could be avoided by requesting guests not bring the irritant into the party, it would make sense to do that.
Just another possible explanation to consider.
I'm going to make this pretty quick. Some neighbors agreed to host the annual neighborhood Christmas party. The deal is generally that the host provides hors d'oeuvres, beer/wine, and the house for the party. It generally costs about $20 per person. This is not the part in question.
The evite specifies all of the above, but also states, "BYOB ...
To me, there are two tacky things.
First, I find it incredibly tacky to CHARGE GUESTS MONEY to attend a party.
Second, I find it tacky not to have a full bar at a party, including excessively aged single-malt Scotch. The party should also have a skilled mixologist.
But that's me.
EDIT:
I will say we host charity fundraising events at both our main and vacation houses several times per year - specifically for the National Ability Center, the ARC (formerly Association for Retarded Citizens), and OAR (Organization for Autism Research). We've never hosted a political fundraiser.
We provide full catering, full bar, etc. Because it is a charity fundraiser, guests do indeed donate to the charity specified. We typically end up doing something else at the end of the evening such as auction off something where proceeds go to the charity. Once we literally auctioned the shirt off my back - I think it went for $5,000.
But I think a charity fundraiser is something very different from a neighborhood holiday party.
Last edited by SportyandMisty; 12-05-2018 at 09:14 AM..
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