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I agree, and I doubt she will spend $60 each on all the other girls either.
I really hope OP has seen a dentist now that she has a good job, it would be the best Christmas gift she could give herself. Dental problems do not solve themselves even if the pain has subsided temporarily, they just get worse.
$20 is my cutoff for “friends and coworkers”... I would go up to $50-$60 if it was a very close friend or say a long-time coworker in an extreme situation (diagnosis of cancer, loss of a child, or some other like scenario).
I agree, and I doubt she will spend $60 each on all the other girls either.
I really hope OP has seen a dentist now that she has a good job, it would be the best Christmas gift she could give herself. Dental problems do not solve themselves even if the pain has subsided temporarily, they just get worse.
Indeed; given this poster's hx I think these gals are taking advantage of her naivete and desperation to be liked. If her current job pays so well she can well afford dental care AND an expenditure of $300 for the secret Santa then sure, but...given these are new friends, and OPs recent bout with homelessness it still seems excessive unless all are pretty solvent. EACH gal buys a $60 gift for ALL FIVE others...seems odd to me.
OP that aspect now makes more sense (NOT a workplace secret Santa), just group of gals deciding together. Gotcha.
I would never, ever bend over backwards to buy a gift for any adult or even a child. Been there, done that. All it does is lead to more expectations and entitlement.
Well in the group chat everyone else agreed to do it. So i will as well. Im starting to shop for everyone else next week so I can have the gifts wrapped and ready to go. we are going to celebrate on christmas eve at one of their places. With Hailey I'm going to give the cash toanother person and so is everyone else so they can buy the switch. No one else seemed to have a problem with it. Only Lily and she hasn't really said anything else.
I dont know, actually I really dont have a problem with it. At least Hailey will get something she likes and will hopefully enjoy it. I mean i'd rather her get a gift she does like rather then get six gift she doesn't, if that makes any sense. I guess I was just worried that everyone would be mad, and that Lily was mad at me. Who knows. But no one else seems to be mind really.
So essentially Lily was shamed or guilted into spending more than she felt comfortable with for a Christmas Gift so she wasn't seen as the cheapskate......that's the real spirit of the season now days.
So essentially Lily was shamed or guilted into spending more than she felt comfortable with for a Christmas Gift so she wasn't seen as the cheapskate......that's the real spirit of the season now days.
I have heard several times from others that she’s cheap but I honestly haven’t noticed but I haven’t hung out with just her one on one either. She’s really nice
Indeed; given this poster's hx I think these gals are taking advantage of her naivete and desperation to be liked. If her current job pays so well she can well afford dental care AND an expenditure of $300 for the secret Santa then sure, but...given these are new friends, and OPs recent bout with homelessness it still seems excessive unless all are pretty solvent. EACH gal buys a $60 gift for ALL FIVE others...seems odd to me.
OP that aspect now makes more sense (NOT a workplace secret Santa), just group of gals deciding together. Gotcha.
Im not desperate. I just made friends. One of the girls came up to me first. And then I met the others and now we are friends.
It doesn’t hurt anymore, like I said in the thread. It does sometimes but orajel fixes it.
"Thanks for all the suggestions. Trying to save up money to go to a dental college. Right now the tooth pain has gone but I still have pain there sometimes I honestly just use orajel and it works"
If you were my friend I would want you to go see a dentist before I'd want you spending money on expensive gifts that I could probably afford for myself if I wanted it that badly.
$20 is my cutoff for “friends and coworkers”... I would go up to $50-$60 if it was a very close friend or say a long-time coworker in an extreme situation (diagnosis of cancer, loss of a child, or some other like scenario).
I agree.
Hello Belle, I'm glad that you are getting back on your feet.
IMHO, spending $60 on a Christmas gift for a friend, especially a new friend of just a few weeks, is completely out of line. IMHO, she was rude and selfish to even ask that of her friends. Do you really think that person will be spending $60 on each of her gifts for all of you? I rather doubt it. I bet that if I asked the younger adults (mid 20s to early 30s) that I know with excellent salaries ($50,000 to $100,000 a year) none of them would spend that much to purchase a holiday gift for a friend. Frankly, I suspect that this new friend is taking advantage of you and others in the group.
However, I should point out that among my friend group (most of us have been friends for 25 to 40 years) we never exchanged holiday presents. We had secret Santa at work where we exchanged names and bought one gift (over the years it changed from a maximum of $10 to $20) and we occasional did "White Elephant Gift Exchanges" (exchanged odd or unusual items from our homes). We also occasionally regifted nice, new presents that we didn't want and they would appreciate. But, I do know that some friend groups do exchange gifts, but usually exchange names so they just buy one gift.
All that being said, I am very happy for you that you have happy plans for Christmas. I am sure that means a lot to you.
"Thanks for all the suggestions. Trying to save up money to go to a dental college. Right now the tooth pain has gone but I still have pain there sometimes I honestly just use orajel and it works"
If you were my friend I would want you to go see a dentist before I'd want you spending money on expensive gifts that I could probably afford for myself if I wanted it that badly.
I mean they don’t know about my teeth? I haven’t said anything bc it hasn’t been hurting. I couldn’t go to the dentist at the time bc I was saving all my money to move into my place. I have moved so now I can spend money again.
The gift exchange doesn’t have anything to do with my teeth. Someone else brought that up which was weird.
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