Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am confused and very irritated. My dad passed away a year ago. My mom, both sisters and I together made the arrangements. However, everyone else refuses to pay on the funeral and I have been paying on the funeral alone. I don’t mind it is my parent but I’m hurt that everyone left me to pay for the whole funeral especially since I had lost my job and was unemployed. I did talk with them and they agreed to help pay but never have and now all three of them refuse to talk to me or associate with me. My question is how do you handle the hurt resentment of what they done ?
Did your dad have a will and/or attorney? I would talk to the attorney if he had one.
Did he have a life insurance policy? Having a life insurance policy won’t help you much unless you are named as a beneficiary, just wondering.
I do want to say that many people think that a life insurance is there to pay for a funeral - but that’s only if the named beneficiary is willing to give up the $$ that covers the cost of the funeral.
Now it may depend on each state’s laws - or the presence or absence of a will - but in MI a deceased person’s debts have to be paid before any disbursement of funds. If this is true where you are, get a copy of the bill from the funeral home and take it to the attorney.
People turn ugly when there is a death and the possibility of money.
BTW, you just might be better off without your mom or sisters.
No attorney or estate. There was a life insurance policy but I found out that he had borrowed against it to help my sister out when she needed money so the policy was way short by $7,000. So that is what I have paid. I just do t understand how family can turn like that and disrespect a mom and wife of 40 years. Not to mention act really nasty with me.
You have a right to be hurt and resentful that your family members have taken advantage and then been mean to you. I had a similar situation with my sisters and it ate at me for months. Then I realized that I was letting their selfishness and meanness ruin my life while they happily moved on with no guilt.
I reframed the whole thing. Instead of being hurt and resentful, I became wiser about the true nature of them both. I cut off ALL contact and communication with them both since they weren't the kind of people who deserved my friendship. It's been over a decade now. If those old feelings come in again, I remind myself that I WILL NOT GIVE THEM THE POWER TO RUIN MY LIFE. If I have to see them at family events, I remain neutral and disinterested, but never give them fuel against me by being rude or mad.
Yes I do so so agree ! I am at that point now and I also think that I need to just cut all ties and move on. It has definitely taken more of a toll on me than it has them and they have no intentions of making amends.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this post !!
Yes I do so so agree ! I am at that point now and I also think that I need to just cut all ties and move on. It has definitely taken more of a toll on me than it has them and they have no intentions of making amends.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this post !!
Yes I do so so agree ! I am at that point now and I also think that I need to just cut all ties and move on. It has definitely taken more of a toll on me than it has them and they have no intentions of making amends.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this post !!
You go on realizing that now you know who they are and what they are willing to do to someone else. That it is acceptable to renege on promises. They exposed themselves and you are the wiser for it. Doesn't take away all the sting, but now you are forewarned. Forewarned is forearmed. There are givers and there are takers. You also know which YOU are and that you did the honorable thing.
Sadly, often when a parent passes away, a sleeping beast rears its ugly head between siblings in the form of money and greed.
You suddenly find out that the glue that held the family together was just cheap dollar store stuff and it comes apart almost instantly when parents pass away and there is money, articles of value or heirlooms involved.
Move on OP and let your siblings live with their demons. They have no honor and you can either cut all ties or accept that greed is human nature with some people.
Tell them dad had a will and left a bunch of money for all the siblings.
Set up a meeting where they all show up for the money and then slap them with a bill for their portion of the funeral.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
