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My wife's sister (27) came to visit us for a month from Eastern Europe. We currently live in Vegas. This is the first time in 15 years that my wife has had family come visit her in the US. They are both from the Baltics
On a side note, just curious which of the Baltic countries are they from? My best friend and her family are Latvian and I've learned a fair bit about their culture. It's really interesting!
As to your question about what's bothering your wife, my guess is that she feels excluded since you're taking her sister out on the town without her. Plus you bought a gift for her sister. She probably has a historic rivalry with her sister that she is insecure about, which is why she's upset that you seem to fancy her sister more than she would like. I think you should just talk to your wife and just find out so you can resolve this and have a pleasant remaining visit with your SIL.
I'm mostly fine with the idea of OP taking the sister out in Vegas-- since that's where they live and it doesn't sound to me like they're going on a vacation together or something but maybe just dinner or sightseeing-- and I was assuming it's not that the wife is specifically being excluded but maybe it's due to the wife having to work or having somewhere else to be, or the two of them wanting to do something the wife isn't interested in and she'd rather they go without her*. It may be more problematic in the context of the whole situation, though.
*Nothing more awkward than wanting to bow out of something your SO wants to do that you're not interested in but everyone expects you'll go along... without looking antisocial or like you expect the SO not to go, either. Especially if you're female; everyone assumes it's an underhanded, passive-aggressive way of saying you disagree with the outing/trying to get the SO not to go, when maybe you just actually don't want to be bored stiff...
I find it interesting that you titled this thread as an issue between your wife and her sister. The real issue seems to be between you and your wife.
For whatever reason, she's not comfortable with how you are with her sister. And buying the sister a gift alone is a little weird, given how little you know each other. I understand your wife being miffed that you didn't even mention it before you went to the effort to go shopping for her sister. It looks like you wanted to exclude her, whether that was your intent or not. She just may be a little jealous, or there may be situations in their history that explain her discomfort. Either way, she doesn't seem to want to talk about it, so the best course, IMO, is to respect her feelings.
Just read the OP's full post again - OP, you sound passive-aggressive....and annoying.
You mention your wife called you to say that you were not giving her sister enough attention and attentiveness, implying you were sort of ignoring her when she first arrived.
So in retaliation for what you feel is 'being called out on lack of attention for the sister', you are now deliberately behaving in a childish way in being overly interested by taking the sister out alone and in purchasing a gift for her - in retaliation for what you perceive as criticism for a lack of attentiveness when the sister first arrived. This behavior is lacking in maturity.
And your emphasis on both of you being Scorpios is rather bizarre - you thinking already that the sister and you have SO much in common. Your interest is now over zealous.
Last edited by matisse12; 12-23-2018 at 06:05 PM..
It sounds simple to me. Your wife would like you to be friendly and participate in shared activities - that you were planning to buy the sister a private gift is a little creepy and intimate.
The fact that you say you are planning to take the sister out by yourself is also inappropriate, from my perspective.
If you care about your wife, heed her feelings, include her, join the family in ways you might not normally do, be "friendly" (but not intimate), etc.
It's kind of common sense.
That you know her sign and are simpatico with her is a red flag.
Yep I agree . I don’t see this as a jealousy issue either but more crossing a boundary.
a wise man....would also buy a gift for his wife...whenever he buys a gift for another woman....
also taking lil sis out on the town ….may not be a bright move..
women are funny when it comes to other women...even sisters....is her sister...thinner/attractive??
yes it shouldn't matter but ….issues run deep in fanilies ..
Definitely strange you bought you're sister a gift. It doesn’t seem like you were trying to make an effort at all. Then you bought her a gift?
Your wife was probably pissed at first that you weren’t making an effort and seemed very stand-offish through her sister’s eyes. Then probably got jealous because you bought her sister a gift.
Perhaps your wife knows her sister better than you do and has reason that you should steer clear of her? There's no reason at all for you to do stuff on your own with SIL so don't. You can disagree and say it's silly but if you want to keep peace with your wife you won't, simple as that.
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