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In my experience, you come up with a rough idea of the guest list number, and then choose the venue and food, based on what you can afford to accommodate that number of people.
You don't choose a venue and then whittle your guest list to fit it.
Because that's not recognizing what's important - relationships, not physical buildings.
Of course it is a bad thing. As stated, the big day involves only 2 who need to be of one mind. Set the tone for a successful and loving relationship. Clara you really have some issues surfacing here, I think you need to discuss this with someone. Sometimes we all have issues that need to be addressed before they damage relationships, we're all human
In my experience, you come up with a rough idea of the guest list number, and then choose the venue and food, based on what you can afford to accommodate that number of people.
You don't choose a venue and then whittle your guest list to fit it.
Because that's not recognizing what's important - relationships, not physical buildings.
Ha...….agreed, but that's not how self entitled people operate. Their show whatever they want it to be is what's most important...…...everyone else is just a prop for the show.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 1 day ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy
Ha...….agreed, but that's not how self entitled people operate. Their show whatever they want it to be is what's most important...…...everyone else is just a prop for the show.
I completely agree. Cluelessness.
I have a friend who got a "save the date" notification. She's not on the guest list at this time, it was made clear, but as RSVP regrets come in she may receive an invitation.
Amazing. She actually laughed out loud and pitched the notice. Who does stuff like that?
Its not clear if she has aunts or uncles and if she does whether or not she wants them there. I believe something was said that she is not that close to her mother and other family members.
OP would have to address that if she knows.
speculation is just that. And it's not productive. Accepting this is their wedding, their big day, their choice, is productive. And feeling fortunate to be invited. We don't see that here. We see someone whose crossed a line bigtime but apologized and needs to let it go. Thus she can show her apology is genuine and not based on self entitlement
We're going off of the OP saying that the bride isn't close to her extended family, but she might not just be as close as the groom is to his. They may still be important people to her, and people who would feel offended if the groom invited his aunts, uncles, and cousins but she was not able to invite hers.
Suddenly a 20 person wedding could explode to 40 or 60.
Of course it is a bad thing. As stated, the big day involves only 2 who need to be of one mind. Set the tone for a successful and loving relationship. Clara you really have some issues surfacing here, I think you need to discuss this with someone. Sometimes we all have issues that need to be addressed before they damage relationships, we're all human
In my experience, you come up with a rough idea of the guest list number, and then choose the venue and food, based on what you can afford to accommodate that number of people.
You don't choose a venue and then whittle your guest list to fit it.
Because that's not recognizing what's important - relationships, not physical buildings.
We hadn't even discussed the guest list. For my particular situation is was more about all the friends he invited. He simply did not have the money to cover all these guests. My parents happily cover any of his family members. Like you he struggled with the difference between fixed and variable costs. The variable costs of a wedding is not limited to the building.
Sorry the physical building where my ceremony took place was extremely meaning for me for a variety of reasons. I made a lot of accommodations to ensure I could make it happen. FWIW I certainly didn't have to whittle my guest size for it - the place held 1300
speculation is just that. And it's not productive. Accepting this is their wedding, their big day, their choice, is productive. And feeling fortunate to be invited. We don't see that here. We see someone whose crossed a line bigtime but apologized and needs to let it go. Thus she can show her apology is genuine and not based on self entitlement
What speculation?
Son told him mom his bride to be is not close to certain members of her family.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 1 day ago)
35,580 posts, read 17,923,325 times
Reputation: 50612
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
We're going off of the OP saying that the bride isn't close to her extended family, but she might not just be as close as the groom is to his. They may still be important people to her, and people who would feel offended if the groom invited his aunts, uncles, and cousins but she was not able to invite hers.
Suddenly a 20 person wedding could explode to 40 or 60.
A 60 person wedding is still small.
And yes, I agree with you, that's likely the dynamic that's happening here. She doesn't have extended family/doesn't want to invite them, so he's mirroring her invitation list.
The bride and groom know the answer. It's their one and only, big day
At one point, I worked for the Tourist Center in Northern California. There was NO where in OR near our town we were aware of, to hold a wedding inexpensively. We turned it into a Welcome Center. And we were in the fastest growing county in California. Located in Northern California
The bride and groom have THEIR wedding all worked out. None of our concern, none of the future MIL concern either. It's likely the bride will back off from her if she is smart. Distance to avoid a future problem with Mom. Easier that way, unfortunately. This needs to be strife she caused which is now under the rug.
Remain appreciative for a long time of everything so this family can feel comfortable around mom. It's likely she'll be forgiven but needs to act as if this is a one time thing. Sadly, it was directed to the most important day of their life so it might take a while. How she behaves for now on is key to turning this around.
Last edited by EricaComstock; 01-07-2019 at 09:40 AM..
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