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What does my mates opinion have to do with anything on this thread? I'm confused by this question. I'm a professional woman who travels. Are you implying that I should be getting a man's opinion on how I handled the situation I described? Should I have him on speaker at all times when I travel to get his input?
No. He's just another potential source of advice, that's all. Just wondering what his recommendations might be. We've pretty much milked the membership here, for ideas.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 01-09-2019 at 01:12 PM..
What does my mates opinion have to do with anything on this thread? I'm confused by this question. I'm a professional woman who travels. Are you implying that I should be getting a man's opinion on how I handled the situation I described?
You're the one who started this thread asking for people's opinion on how to handle the situation.
Why would your husband's opinion matter less than the opinion of strangers on the internet?
I ask my SO on his opinion on a wide variety of topics. It's noy because I need a man to solve all my problems. We've been together for 11 years. He knows me better than anyone else, and we talk with each other about problems we're having. He also asks for my opinion on situations .
Sounds like it's a hassle to repeatedly have men try and approach you by buying you a drink. And you never know what kind of person they are. They might get angry that you refused their advances. Maybe when you order a drink you could tell the bartender that one drink is absolutely your limit, that you are trying to get some work done.
I think there was only a couple of people who commented about women going to bars alone. The vast majority didn’t. Don’t let a couple of people cause you to second guess anything.
Bars are places to hookup. I'm not sure why a person will go to a bar to work, with all this music and drunks around.
How about not going to bars and working in the hotel?
Not every bar is like the one you've experienced (drunks, loud music), and often the "bar", when it comes to business travelers, IS - IN - the hotel. And they are often frequented by solo travelers, male and female, not usually looking for company, and getting work done outside of their rooms.
I don't understand why saying "NO" today is such a problem for everyone. I say it when people want to offer me a ride somewhere: "No, I don't accept rides with people I don't know (well)." I'd do it with a drink, too: "No, I don't accept drinks from people I don't know." Same with people who want me to watch their kid for them while they run to the toilet or whatever: "No, I don't watch other people's kids."
It's that simple. So what if the person gets mad? If he asked you for sex and said he would get mad if you refused him, would you go with him? Of course you wouldn't. So say no and turn down the drink.
And there's nothing to say a man can't say no to an aggressive woman, either, if the situation were reversed.
What does my mates opinion have to do with anything on this thread? I'm confused by this question. I'm a professional woman who travels. Are you implying that I should be getting a man's opinion on how I handled the situation I described? Should I have him on speaker at all times when I travel to get his input?
I don't understand your attitude. You sound sexist about your very own man. What could possibly be wrong with you getting a male's perspective and suggestions on saying no to other mens' offers? And what could be wrong with getting the male perspective from the one man that you live with, love and trust most and who knows you and your intentions best of all? Do you not trust his opinions? Why would his perspective be inferior to the perspectives offered by complete strangers on internet who don't know you?
Could it be that maybe you object to asking for your mate's perspective because you don't want him to know that when you're travelling for work you have been going into bars alone for drinks and have been getting approached with offers from strangers? Are you afraid of him or of what he would say or do if you tell him the truth?
Typically the bartender is the go between and will come over and tell you that the person bought you a drink. So in that case should you just say no to the bartender? Or do you need to talk to the drink buyer too?
No, you owe the stranger who bought you an unsolicited gift nothing. Stop worrying about being 'rude' to some stranger and put your safety first. You sound like the type a smooth talker would rope into a conversation after she came over to thank him for a refused drink--because, of course, you'd be too nice to cut the conversation (you're not interested in, remember?) short.
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