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I live in a Townhouse and have neighbors on either side of us. The townhouse on one side of us was empty for a few months but a few weeks ago a new couple moved in. I saw them come out of their home and went over to introduce myself. (We share walls so we have common interests.)
I was completely shocked by how cold and standoffish they were. They seemed insulted and bothered that I would take even a minute of their valuable time to approach them and introduce myself. Their reaction seemed to be that there was no reason to bother them just because we were neighbors. I just wanted to talk to them for a minute or less knowing how busy people are today.
My wife asked me why I even bothered because nowadays most people don't talk to their neighbors. So the new neighbors likely thought I was bothering them. They thought: "You live next door, SO?"
So, would you approach a new neighbor who just moved in just to say hello and introduce yourself?
It might happen if we were both outside at the same time, but I wouldn’t really go out of my way to introduce myself. A new family did move in next door to me either last week or the week before, and I haven’t met them yet and I’m ok with that. The only thing I really want to let them know is that their kids are never allowed to play on my driveway because that’s a problem I had with the family who lived there before they moved in, but other than that, we don’t really need to talk.
In my neighborhood, it's considered rude NOT to introduce yourself and chat briefly with neighbors.
We have over 60 homes in the neighborhood, and have a neighborhood directory. Only ONE home didn't want to participate in the directory - why in the world you'd live in a neighborhood if you didn't want any contact from neighbors I don't quite understand, but ok. You won't get a directory or an invitation to the wine tasting or the halloween pizza party. Suits me just fine.
It's one thing to trap someone in their driveway with a 45 minute one-sided conversation, but it's another to just introduce yourself, welcome them, ask if they've lived in town long, well, good to see you!
I lived in a neighborhood for 15 years, mainly because I was stuck there from a financial stand point. As soon as I was able to sell the house and buy some acreage it was Adios Neighborhood! LOL! Although I would be perfectly friendly if I saw you in the street, the idea of going to a neighborhood wine tasting or Halloween party sounds awful to my introvert self. I used to volunteer to work overtime or purposely stay away from home on National Night Out so I would have an excuse to not go to the BBQ and not have people looking at my house wondering why I wouldn't come out.
A neighbourhood is a community and good neighbours look out for each other. I think it's a good survival tactic for people to introduce themselves and know who their neighbours are and at least be on nodding terms with them when they encounter them. It doesn't mean neighbours all should be chatty, friendly best buddies and on a first name basis but it never hurts to be polite. The survival tactic is that when you know enough about them to recognize who all your neighbours are that belong there then you will also know enough to recognize who the non-neighbours are that shouldn't be there hanging around casing the neighbourhood and up to no good.
I live in a Townhouse and have neighbors on either side of us. The townhouse on one side of us was empty for a few months but a few weeks ago a new couple moved in. I saw them come out of their home and went over to introduce myself. (We share walls so we have common interests.)
I was completely shocked by how cold and standoffish they were. They seemed insulted and bothered that I would take even a minute of their valuable time to approach them and introduce myself. Their reaction seemed to be that there was no reason to bother them just because we were neighbors. I just wanted to talk to them for a minute or less knowing how busy people are today.
My wife asked me why I even bothered because nowadays most people don't talk to their neighbors. So the new neighbors likely thought I was bothering them. They thought: "You live next door, SO?"
So, would you approach a new neighbor who just moved in just to say hello and introduce yourself?
Crossing property lines to shake hands or just a wave and a hello? Some people are not slap-on-the-back social and act like they've seen a ghost!
I think saying hello to the neighbors if you happen to be outside at the same time is the neighborly thing to do.
I would find it a little creepy to live in such close quarters with people without some sort of mutual acknowledgement of each others’ presence at some point. I don’t get how people can live next door to someone for years without so much as even waving.
I also don’t get the responses to the effect of fearing that saying hi to the new neighbors will lead to the neighbors being “in your business” or trying to “ambush” you every time you walk outside. Unless you’re extremely wealthy, extremely good looking, and/or living an extraordinarily interesting life, I highly doubt that anyone is going to pursue you to that length just because they said hi.
I'm always careful to be friendly to neighbors - you never know when you might need some help in a hurry, and it's nice to at least be familiar with the people who live nearby.
So, would you approach a new neighbor who just moved in just to say hello and introduce yourself?
No, but I would speak to them in the elevator or in the hallway (if in a big building) or if we just ran into each other while outside (in a normal residential area).
I live in a Townhouse and have neighbors on either side of us. The townhouse on one side of us was empty for a few months but a few weeks ago a new couple moved in. I saw them come out of their home and went over to introduce myself. (We share walls so we have common interests.)
I was completely shocked by how cold and standoffish they were. They seemed insulted and bothered that I would take even a minute of their valuable time to approach them and introduce myself. Their reaction seemed to be that there was no reason to bother them just because we were neighbors. I just wanted to talk to them for a minute or less knowing how busy people are today.
My wife asked me why I even bothered because nowadays most people don't talk to their neighbors. So the new neighbors likely thought I was bothering them. They thought: "You live next door, SO?"
So, would you approach a new neighbor who just moved in just to say hello and introduce yourself?
I think that what you did was a courtesy. My neighbors were new 3 years ago.....the young man introduced himself out in driveway.....I thought that was very nice. Made having to talk to each other over any issues easier the last 3 years. We are quite neighborly now.
As for people who hate even knowing their neighbors......it is too bad. I have had more friendly helpful neighbors than bad ones.
No, but I would speak to them in the elevator or in the hallway (if in a big building) or if we just ran into each other while outside (in a normal residential area).
Just a simple hello, holding/opening the door for each other, etc. Just being friendly is fine.
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