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Old 01-16-2019, 08:48 AM
 
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I don't think I'd necessarily think it was rude.


IMO, if you have limited responsibilities, that allow for spontaneous plans, and I get a last minute invitation...it's all good.


But if I'm getting spontaneous invitations from the same friend or groups of friends, and they know I can't go unless I get a babysitter...or they seem to always forget that I need to get a babysitter, and it's hard to get a babysitter at the last minute on a Saturday night....


I think I'd probably start feeling sorry for myself that I'm always having to say "Can't go. I need a little more heads up so I can get a babysitter."


But also...you gotta recognize that some friends are in a different place than you are, and life always has trade-offs.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:42 AM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
526 posts, read 265,303 times
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It's better to be invited at the last minute than uninvited at the last minute.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,255 posts, read 8,323,304 times
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It depends on the event.

If this is for something like New Years Eve or Halloween where it is common to make plans far in advance, yes, a day of invite could be considered rude. Last minute wedding invite? Probably.

A friend calling you Friday afternoon for Friday night dinner out somewhere? Not at all.

FWIW, I through a huge, New Years Eve Day brunch and invite people in June. Sort of a save the date thing.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
1,553 posts, read 718,877 times
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I dislike them. I'm a pretty ambitious person who always has a lot of personal work planned, so if a friend I really like invites me to do something last-minute, maybe I'll try to reschedule what I'm doing and maybe I won't, but I 100% would have preferred they ask me at least a day or two in advance.
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Kirkland, WA (Metro Seattle)
4,013 posts, read 3,265,629 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mej210390 View Post
Love them, Hate them? Think they are rude, Inconsiderate?? or something else?

Personally I hate them and think they are rude, but what are your thoughts on this matter, would love to hear peoples views?
I'll agree with your second statement. Men, and women, should have a sense of dignity about their time. Desperation never looks good. It should appear like you have things to do, a full social calendar. People don't usually like hanging out with losers.

I decline most "last minute" anything. There are exceptions, like one of the Star Wars movies the other year whereby a friend was taking her family and had a spare ticket, to a sold out show at a major venue. I actually moved some plans to see that, which was "important" (so to speak) to the nerd crowd. It's not absolute.

Same friend, however, last spring called me hours before Cirque du Soleil because her girlfriend has bailed on her, I had better things to do frankly. I really did. It was right on the edge of rude, though I wouldn't mind seeing Cirque du Soleil again someday.

I sure don't do this to potential dates, most women have sufficient dignity to decline the few times I've been dumb enough to try. And, many women really are that socially busy so it wouldn't work anyway.

Socially aware friends probably won't do this. Family gets a PASS, however, as they are...obviously, inner circle/blood.
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:58 AM
 
Location: East Coast
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I guess I need more information to determine whether it's rude. I don't see any issue with it being 3 or 4:00 on a Saturday and calling up a friend saying, "I know it's late, but are you doing anything tonight? Would you want to have dinner?" If I did that, I'd expect that it's likely the answer would be that they are already busy. But if they're not doing anything and would enjoy having dinner, then it seems like a win-win.
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,576 posts, read 24,170,899 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondebaerde View Post
It should appear like you have things to do, a full social calendar. People don't usually like hanging out with losers.
That's a bit of a junior-high mindset. Not everybody values being busy all the time, and being invited (or doing the inviting) to an impromptu happy hour or meals or social gathering isn't desperate.
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Old 01-16-2019, 12:14 PM
 
9,824 posts, read 5,030,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondebaerde View Post
Same friend, however, last spring called me hours before Cirque du Soleil because her girlfriend has bailed on her, I had better things to do frankly. I really did. It was right on the edge of rude, though I wouldn't mind seeing Cirque du Soleil again someday.
I guess I have a different take on that situation. Friend finds herself unexpectedly with an extra ticket, and rather than see it go unused, she thought of who might like the show, and thought enough of you to offer it. I don't find that rude at all.

As my mother always said "it doesn't hurt to ask."
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Old 01-16-2019, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Haiku
4,144 posts, read 2,591,176 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
I love them but I can't always attend at the last minute.

Don't see why it would be "rude" --???
Rude is not the right word, more like "not helpful". It is nice to be able to have some advance notice so you can plan or block out the time or whatever. But I understand, many people are spontaneous.

That being said, sometimes you find out that their original plans did not include you but when someone else couldn't make it, they decided to invite you. That happens but is a little disheartening.
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Old 01-16-2019, 12:18 PM
 
48 posts, read 15,791 times
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You got invited vs not invited, should be good enough right?
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