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Old 01-16-2019, 04:02 PM
 
1,191 posts, read 353,972 times
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I have no problem being spontaneous. If it's something fun or interesting and I haven't any plans it doesn't bother me in the least.

I have to laugh at the thought that anyone would be judging others on whether or not they have full social calendars. If friends are going to judge a person on that they don't have enough going on in their own lives.

Unless it is for something that interests me a whole lot I don't like making plans too far in advance. I'd rather stay free for other things that might come up. I don't like cancelling plans with someone because something I'd rather do comes up. I think that is rude.

I also think nothing of suggesting something to a friend at the last minute. If they are free great, if not that's no problem either. I don't know anyone that needs babysitters. I can understand where that sort of thing makes it hard for some people to take advantage of invites at the last minute.
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Old 01-16-2019, 04:05 PM
 
3,974 posts, read 1,699,219 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
IMO it's ok as an occasional thing, but some people ONLY do "spontaneous". The way that stacks up is, that over time, it becomes clear, that they expect everyone else to be at their beck and call. Think about it; if they're unable or unwilling to plan ahead, it means they're always in control of what's happening. They're the deciders, and you can only say yes or no, you can't say, "how about tomorrow", or "I'd love to see you next week." I knew someone, who would call while driving into town with friends, to ask me if I could join them for dinner. I was in the middle of dinner at home, when she called. She then told me I could join them anyway, to sit and watch them eat. That was the end, for me; the last in a series of similar "spontaneous" get-togethers, after letting her know I'd love to see her, but needed advance notice.
THIS. I had one friend like this in graduate school and we had several arguments about it. I absolutely donít mind spontaneous, but when someone is wishy washy about anything that needs plans, it is really hurtful. I absolutely understand if someone has kids and something comes up like a kid gets sick or the other parent gets sick and canít take the kid to an event, but when it is every single time, that is infuriating.

Donít get me wrong, I love being spontaneous, but I donít want to be spontaneous at the expense of doing planned activities.
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Old 01-16-2019, 06:18 PM
 
1,280 posts, read 434,756 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mej210390 View Post
Love them, Hate them? Think they are rude, Inconsiderate?? or something else?

Personally I hate them and think they are rude, but what are your thoughts on this matter, would love to hear peoples views?

Usually decline but I'm always happy that someone wants to spend time with me, as a friend.
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Old 01-16-2019, 06:20 PM
 
9,278 posts, read 9,228,173 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mej210390 View Post
Love them, Hate them? Think they are rude, Inconsiderate?? or something else?

Personally I hate them and think they are rude, but what are your thoughts on this matter, would love to hear peoples views?
They're certainly not rude. How can the implication that someone likes you possibly be rude?

Of course, you may not like them, and you may feel that it implies that you're not popular if you're free at the last minute, but that doesn't make them rude.

It depends so much on the situation! If someone calls to say, "Omigod, I just got free tickets to this hot Broadway play, and of course I thought of you!" - well, I'd be thrilled.
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Old 01-17-2019, 04:33 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,946 posts, read 5,302,666 times
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Just because someone likes spontaneous doesn't mean they don't also do planned events.


Since the OP said friends, and I don't really want to get into the friend vs. acquaintance argument, a friend knows your basic every day schedule. They wouldn't call someone that needs a baby sitter at the the last minute or that has things going on in their life where spontaneous is not possible.
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Old 01-17-2019, 08:07 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,820 posts, read 18,790,699 times
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I happen to love them because they are spontaineous and I love spontaineous people .
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Old 01-17-2019, 08:42 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,695 posts, read 70,554,766 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cida View Post
They're certainly not rude. How can the implication that someone likes you possibly be rude?

Of course, you may not like them, and you may feel that it implies that you're not popular if you're free at the last minute, but that doesn't make them rude.

It depends so much on the situation! If someone calls to say, "Omigod, I just got free tickets to this hot Broadway play, and of course I thought of you!" - well, I'd be thrilled.
I don't think that's the sort of "spontaneous" invitation the OP means. That type of thing is rare. Much more common is the "hey, I'm driving through your neighborhood, so I thought of you, want to go grab lunch?", as you're sitting at home, eating lunch, or are going out the door to go to an appointment. No matter how many times you say, "I'd have loved to meet you for lunch, if you'd only let me know earlier" or "...if you'd called earlier in the week, so I could work around my other appointments", nothing changes.
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Old 01-17-2019, 08:43 AM
 
12,886 posts, read 15,432,494 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mej210390 View Post
Love them, Hate them? Think they are rude, Inconsiderate?? or something else?

Personally I hate them and think they are rude, but what are your thoughts on this matter, would love to hear peoples views?
Last minute invites mean as much to me as long ahead invites.
I'd actually prefer the last minute ones myself....more chance nothing else can come up...more chance of my going (in my opinion)....
That I were even invited is good to me.
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Old 01-17-2019, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,558 posts, read 52,667,627 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
You got all of that out of the OP's very limited title and post? We must be reading very different things.
Well, why else would there be a question or problem?

So and so can't make it last minute...call in the second choices!
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Old 01-17-2019, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Winterpeg
882 posts, read 336,293 times
Reputation: 3706
If it's a spontaneous get-together, then I think that's great. I'm in! It's nice when friends think of you and want to see you.

If it's more like an acquaintance saying "hey I have had tickets for this thing for months, and no one else I'm closer to can come with me so I'm asking you last minute", then that's not so awesome. I might still go, depending on the whole situation such as how attractive the event is. But it's also possible I'll say "no thanks, I'm busy (aka hanging out with the cats and husband)" and roll my eyes internally that they were only asking me because they didn't want to go alone.
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