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Old 01-16-2019, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,078 posts, read 8,217,916 times
Reputation: 19656

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Yes, I have no problem with this.

I also go to movies by myself and have no problems traveling solo.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:00 PM
 
48 posts, read 15,394 times
Reputation: 65
Nope, rather to go liquor store and buy my beer. If I had people to go with sure, but last time I drank I woke up the next morning in my own puke in my bathroom. I can't stop until I am passed out but apparently I am fun and funny.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,453 posts, read 1,565,182 times
Reputation: 4334
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Today I was talking with a few friends: all people in their mid-30s to early 50s, and both men and women.

I mentioned that I wouldn't go to a bar all by myself.

They looked shocked and said that it's totally fine to do that.

So:

Do you go to bars by yourself, or know people who do?

I always viewed bars as places to go to to see pre-existing friends and co-workers. You can certainly meet people once you're at the bar with others, but going initially by yourself? Not for me.
It seems like the stigma of going to a bar by yourself varies between ages and sexes. (By "bar", I'm referring to the places without a dance floor.) The stigma is strongest for men age 21 to 27. That's when most men won't dare go to a bar alone, as it's considered very creepy to do so. At best, all women will bolt from him. At worst, I don't want to think about it. I went to a bar alone once, shortly after turning 21 (to try out my new ID). I got enough dirty looks, that I hightailed it out of there in less than 20 minutes.

The stigma subsides as the man gets older, and disappears almost completely by age 35. At least that's what I noticed. (The stigma may persist for nightclubs, but I haven't gone to one in four years.) Many a time recently, I sat alone in a bar waiting for my Meetup group, and nobody looked at me twice. Even one time when the group was a dud, and everyone else no-showed. A waitress was kind enough to offer me a comped consolation drink when I told her what happened, but I declined, since I was getting ready to leave.

For women, there really isn't much stigma associated with going to a bar alone. A woman, at least a young woman, in a bar by herself may be seen as foolish or naive, but definitely not creepy.

It seems like on a cruise, the "creepy" stigma for men goes right out of the window. (Overboard?) When cruising solo, I walked into the ship's nightclub by myself every night. Because hey, what else was I to do? And not only did nobody look at me twice, I even had one woman ask me to dance when a Latin song came on. I was 31 at the time. I can't imagine having the same experience in a trendy city neighborhood or a family-centric suburb.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:12 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,548 posts, read 1,733,171 times
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Nope.

Tried it once, wanting a "Cheers" experience, and then came back to reality.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:13 PM
 
Location: planet earth
4,548 posts, read 1,733,171 times
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On vacation, I might make an exception.
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Old 01-16-2019, 09:30 PM
 
3,092 posts, read 2,181,248 times
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Since I've started seeing the woman I'm with, I haven't been going to the regular watering hole. She's done a great job in keeping me away from the drama. Some of you know the backstory - man, that place is a soap opera!
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Old 01-16-2019, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,631 posts, read 11,084,828 times
Reputation: 37650
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppiesandKittens View Post
Today I was talking with a few friends: all people in their mid-30s to early 50s, and both men and women.



I mentioned that I wouldn't go to a bar all by myself.


They looked shocked and said that it's totally fine to do that.


So:


Do you go to bars by yourself, or know people who do?


I always viewed bars as places to go to to see pre-existing friends and co-workers. You can certainly meet people once you're at the bar with others, but going initially by yourself? Not for me.
When I was younger, I always went to night spots alone. There was less baggage to handle when I hooked up with some dancing partner or companion for the night. Having a buddy there would just complicate things.


But, if you are talking here about strictly BARS, I rarely frequented them, just nightclubs.
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Old 01-17-2019, 04:53 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,904 posts, read 5,253,739 times
Reputation: 17811
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
It seems like the stigma of going to a bar by yourself varies between ages and sexes. (By "bar", I'm referring to the places without a dance floor.) The stigma is strongest for men age 21 to 27. That's when most men won't dare go to a bar alone, as it's considered very creepy to do so. At best, all women will bolt from him. At worst, I don't want to think about it. I went to a bar alone once, shortly after turning 21 (to try out my new ID). I got enough dirty looks, that I hightailed it out of there in less than 20 minutes.

The stigma subsides as the man gets older, and disappears almost completely by age 35. At least that's what I noticed. (The stigma may persist for nightclubs, but I haven't gone to one in four years.) Many a time recently, I sat alone in a bar waiting for my Meetup group, and nobody looked at me twice. Even one time when the group was a dud, and everyone else no-showed. A waitress was kind enough to offer me a comped consolation drink when I told her what happened, but I declined, since I was getting ready to leave.

For women, there really isn't much stigma associated with going to a bar alone. A woman, at least a young woman, in a bar by herself may be seen as foolish or naive, but definitely not creepy.

It seems like on a cruise, the "creepy" stigma for men goes right out of the window. (Overboard?) When cruising solo, I walked into the ship's nightclub by myself every night. Because hey, what else was I to do? And not only did nobody look at me twice, I even had one woman ask me to dance when a Latin song came on. I was 31 at the time. I can't imagine having the same experience in a trendy city neighborhood or a family-centric suburb.
Men 21 to 27 are probably the most likely to go to a bar alone. I don't know many men that worry about creepy or even use the word.
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Old 01-17-2019, 05:22 AM
 
6,063 posts, read 2,792,798 times
Reputation: 15351
I was given a challenge by my therapist ...to actually cross a self made barrier. Going out on my own. Moving away from tribal mentality.

I dined alone.
I went to a movie alone.
Skied alone.
Travelled overseas a bit alone.

Turns out I was welcoming those adventures ...
But I have zero desire to toss back a drink

Tbh ...I no longer understand the importance of having to sit across from someone to eat a meal. My chewing and taste buds stay the same...

My therapist did a great job in recommending getting comfortable with one Ness. I really am not anti social. Most independent in their own skin can do a lot without the pack...

Nope...bars are for prison...alcohol does that....
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Old 01-17-2019, 05:51 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,453 posts, read 1,565,182 times
Reputation: 4334
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
Men 21 to 27 are probably the most likely to go to a bar alone. I don't know many men that worry about creepy or even use the word.
Not in my world. At that age, I absolutely always went to bars with friends (or an occasional girlfriend); I never saw a young man there alone. And I clearly recall hearing women and even other men say that's it creepy for a man to come to a bar by himself. It's always men over 30 that I sometimes see alone; I guess it's not considered creepy for an older man to do so, or maybe they just don't care.

I suppose it has much to do with perceiving a threat. A young woman sees a 25-year-old man alone in a bar, and may think: "That creep with no friends will try to hit on me!", even when he just sits in a chair. But when she sees a 40-year-old man alone, he's just some older dude who wants to escape his wife and work stress.

Now, I did cruise alone and had a blast. But when it comes to social norms, cruises are an anomaly, not the mainstream.
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