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Old 01-25-2019, 09:34 PM
 
359 posts, read 301,125 times
Reputation: 298

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
This sounds like the OP is gaslighting the woman... asking her out of the blue if she wants to kill her ex, playing mind games about trust and soaping up her feet or whatever. (shudder!)

I often feel bad that there wasn't something we could actually do to fix the situation -- like alert some authorities that a creep and a bully (or whatever) are talking about killing her ex. Good grief.

This is just 100% unhealthy and unreal.

I believe you misunderstood the post about me discussing the roommate's ex husband and her ideas. If you reread it, you'll see that she's the one fantasizing about him being out of her life permanently while I'm the one who simply interrogated her about it. I am not interested in assisting her. No way I would risk prison time to help my batty roommate to commit a crime, nor anyone for that matter.

 
Old 01-27-2019, 12:07 AM
 
359 posts, read 301,125 times
Reputation: 298
I think I just fell for her sweet words and set myself to suffer again. After last night's falling out where we argued about her being so busy, me noticing her showering/washing her feet with the doors open after midnight, despite me having told her countless times I'm very busy at work and need to sleep well to perform...she continues the noisy behavior. I don't understand why she keeps doing this stuff like banging drawers and stuff onto the floor so late when normal people would try to be quiet, wind down and be sleeping?

Tonight she asked me to come to her mom's condo (2 hour drive + 2-3 hours there likely with no chance to escape and go home if I hate it due to the distance+ ) on Sunday to help her do guess what? Assemble a bed for her mom because as my roommate put it, I like assemblig stuff and usually I just stay in my room, so I should feel excited to do something instead of sitting in my room being bored. Wow so she thinks I have no life outside of work (true).


Then to add insult to injury, she went to bed late again and just as she was exiting her master bedroom, she saw me exit my own room, she had just turned off the hall lights and suddenly froze and let out an audible gasp! Huh??
I think I know why. It's because she tracks my whereabouts at all times and she will only head to her room after likely having just changed into her PJs / nightgown in the dark because she doesn't seem to want my eye on her body when she's aware. But then why does she let me enjoy downblouse views when she's wearing loose clothing? Is she really that distracted such that she had no idea my eyes are on her chest when I'm pretending to concentrate on assembling furniture?
 
Old 01-27-2019, 06:30 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
What kind of job do you have?
 
Old 01-27-2019, 10:16 AM
 
2,048 posts, read 2,145,407 times
Reputation: 7247
OP, I'm going to give a more serious, mature response than I gave you before. I think you're very real, and there could be real-life consequences here.

When you move out (soon, hopefully), please only seek male roommates. Or live alone. I'm a little afraid that something is going to happen that could result in legal troubles for you, and with your career up in the air right now, that's the last thing you want. I don't mean the ex-husband talk - forget that. Even something as benign as her catching you staring at her chest could end up affecting your prospects.

Why no female roommates in the future? Frankly, your thoughts towards your female roommate are unhealthy. And I'm not saying it's completely one-sided and she has never been in the wrong. But if just the sight of "chest skin" is giving you agita, steer clear of situations like this. Please.
 
Old 01-27-2019, 10:37 AM
 
Location: On the phone
1,225 posts, read 628,906 times
Reputation: 2430
Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde View Post
I think I just fell for her sweet words and set myself to suffer again. After last night's falling out where we argued about her being so busy, me noticing her showering/washing her feet with the doors open after midnight, despite me having told her countless times I'm very busy at work and need to sleep well to perform...she continues the noisy behavior. I don't understand why she keeps doing this stuff like banging drawers and stuff onto the floor so late when normal people would try to be quiet, wind down and be sleeping?

Tonight she asked me to come to her mom's condo (2 hour drive + 2-3 hours there likely with no chance to escape and go home if I hate it due to the distance+ ) on Sunday to help her do guess what? Assemble a bed for her mom because as my roommate put it, I like assemblig stuff and usually I just stay in my room, so I should feel excited to do something instead of sitting in my room being bored. Wow so she thinks I have no life outside of work (true).


Then to add insult to injury, she went to bed late again and just as she was exiting her master bedroom, she saw me exit my own room, she had just turned off the hall lights and suddenly froze and let out an audible gasp! Huh??
I think I know why. It's because she tracks my whereabouts at all times and she will only head to her room after likely having just changed into her PJs / nightgown in the dark because she doesn't seem to want my eye on her body when she's aware. But then why does she let me enjoy downblouse views when she's wearing loose clothing? Is she really that distracted such that she had no idea my eyes are on her chest when I'm pretending to concentrate on assembling furniture?
You are up late every night posting, including nights your land lady is being quiet.
 
Old 01-28-2019, 12:39 PM
 
359 posts, read 301,125 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by maiden_fern View Post
You are up late every night posting, including nights your land lady is being quiet.

She makes noise past 1 am every night. How am I supposed to sleep in those conditions?
 
Old 01-28-2019, 12:54 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,659,779 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde View Post
She makes noise past 1 am every night. How am I supposed to sleep in those conditions?
Earplugs, white noise, and no screen time!
 
Old 01-28-2019, 01:10 PM
 
359 posts, read 301,125 times
Reputation: 298
I fell for my roommate's sweet words again when she convinced me to help her with assembling furniture yesterday. She said it would be done faster than the desk and filing cabinet I helped her with previously. Here's what happened:
  • She asked me when I was tired and hungry from a long work week, inadequate sleep after she recently changed the mattress to a harder one
  • I told her I'd give her my decision the next day after eating and resting
  • She pushed me for a decision and I made one when feeling exhausted without realizing there was something I had to do for work on Sunday
  • Yesterday she had wanted to leave at a certain time but I was still tired (uncomfortable mattress). She complained.
  • I saw she was going to wear a certain top and it looked like it would get warm with exercising so I suggested she wear something looser so air could cool her chest and she feels more comfortable. She bought it but covered up her neck/chest area with one of those decorative thin garments, so that was a shame.
  • She was a in a rush and I ended up leaving without eating breakfast
  • On the way to her friend's house (where we were to assemble the bed), she said by the way, she needs to make a stop. So we stop at a business and she left me in the truck without heat (it was raining and cool).
  • Then we're off (luckily she was driving so at least I didn't have to waste my time AND gas).
  • Before the destination she said she needs to pick up a prescription at the drugstore. The parking lot is congested so she asked me to hop out of the car and get it. I did. She told me she was going to park her truck.
  • I finish at the drugstore, the parking lot is big and I don't see her truck.
  • I called her a few times asking where she is. Find out she's at a grocery store. OK , I meet her there.
  • She buys some goods, I'm waiting standing there...she buys some hot food from the take out counter. We leave together and drive to the friend's apartment
  • My roommate had brought several things along and she gets me to carry them up the the apartment , luckily there's an elevator
  • Once there, we sit down to share the take out: it cost about $10, so $5 portion per person. My roommate had told me she'd buy me lunch in exchange for helping her assemble the bed, so I guess that's what she meant?
  • We finish the quick lunch and get to work. Some heavy lifting, reading instruction booklet, figuring out the hardware...the roommate was stubborn as usual, wanted to skip some steps, I urged her not to. The friend's apartment was super hot with no windows..I was tired and wasn't feel particularly energetic but pushed myself to continue.
  • Roommate told me she's the smart one, I'm the laborer, so any heavy lifting I do it. It was funny whenever I was using a screwdriver to tighten screws, she's keep repeating "to the maximum!" , making sure I tightened them to the limit. I was...yet she kept repeating it. I should've put my put down and told her to cut it out , either she trusts me to do it, or she can do it herself. But I'm too nice...
  • Now about the decorative accessory around her neck (not sure what it's called since it's not warm), she removed it...as she got hot inside that hot apartment.
  • My roommate gave the directives and I felt like I was submitting to her which is not a good feeling I like having
  • But the good thing is that as I was kneeling down to tight crews, bolts, putting some muscle into assembly and she was standing over me, or vice versa, she had her chest in my face and what can I say...I couldn't resist! Her friend supervised now and then, so I had to control myself but other times I'd be turning the screwdriver and looking right at her cleavage and bra and it was wonderful. It almost made it worth spending a day off with her. I also loved that she suddenly seemed comfortable in tight spaces with me, at one point I wanted to reach out and feel her ponytail, touch soft hands...but had to stop myself because we're not a couple. But I was living out a fantasy of being with her without really being together (as a couple) if you know what I mean. My social life is nonexistent, she knows it, and I guess that's another reason she treats me poorly. But I never talk about friends, I never go out with anyone after work..I'm just always available.
  • But there were consequences to the occasional pleasure 1- being bossed around, me losing 12 hours from a day off I could've used to look for another place to live (at least browsed ads, called and maybe visited one or two places , 2- I forgot that I had to do something for work yesterday that was due this morning...only remembered today when my supervisor sent me a reminder, ended up submitting it 30 mins late ..oops
  • Now I feel empty. Yes I got occasional joy yesterday but my roommate and I will never be a couple. And she's back to slamming doors , drawers and cupboards at all hours
 
Old 01-28-2019, 01:13 PM
 
359 posts, read 301,125 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Earplugs, white noise, and no screen time!

Why didn't I think of such "easy" solutions?

Here's the thing: when the house has no soundproofing and it's loud bang! bang of wood against wood- door frames and drawers, you hear it from other floors and definitely from my room. Only solution is moving out, she doesn't seem to be open to feedback to change her ways.
 
Old 01-28-2019, 01:18 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,659,779 times
Reputation: 54735
I'm betting you have tried none of those solutions. Why on earth would you be posting on CD at 2 am if you were worried about not getting enough sleep? You make no sense.
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