U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 01-31-2019, 08:40 PM
 
359 posts, read 188,540 times
Reputation: 298

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hallouise View Post
What is meant by "the trust test"? Does this involve entering her room?

(I don't think OP will answer. He/she probably put me on "ignore" already. Maybe someone else could ask?)

Surprise! Here I am. Review the thread and you'll find an explanation.

 
Old 01-31-2019, 08:46 PM
 
359 posts, read 188,540 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
I think she would be terrified if she knew what what you were posting here and how you fantasized about her.

What if you found out she was talking to a boyfriend every night? I worry that when your fantasy finally bursts, you will move forward and "get even" with her.

Please move out, find another short term air bnb nearby. Get all your things out of her house. Focus on finding a new job. And get professional help.

I already confessed I like her voice. Nowadays she's in her room more often than not and declines to share it with me unless it's to grumpily grumble how late I eat dinner, did my contract get renewed yet or have I discussed it with the new boss (no and none of her business, yet she keeps asking).

I actually did ask her if it's a man or a woman she's been talking to for hours on end past 11:00pm. She replied: So what if it's a man or woman? It's not important. Hmmm I have a sneaking suspicion someone has a crush on her and that's why she told me her voice is nothing special. It seems she wants to reserve the sweet talk for someone else, and just dump her past relationship and other issues on me as if I'm her pseudo therapist. If this woman knew what was good for her, she'd spend time with me after work, ask about my day without prying, let my ears enjoy her voice and give me a goodnight kiss on the cheek. But none of that happens. I forget the context but I remember telling her she was a bad girl and deserved some punishment. She then asked what punishment and I told her I'd take away her phone (I was joking). She protested loudly.


One more thing. I noticed she no longer replies to my text messages like before. She used to reply within minutes or hours and in the past 3 weeks, my occasional messages get unanswered. She even left me waiting for her in a parking lot while she disappeared in a store after insisting on being dropped off at the front door instead of walking a few more feet from a parking space. This is a high maintenance, unfriendly person and yet, she still has me wrapped around her little finger. I wonder why?
 
Old 02-01-2019, 08:09 AM
 
5,172 posts, read 2,765,302 times
Reputation: 9497
Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde View Post
I've shared a house with my landlord since last year. She says we're roommates and friends.

The beginning was Ok. But soon after the honeymoon phase ended, the problems started.


Examples:

  • I used to work a 8am-4pm shift. She used to shower until 2am with her bathroom and bedroom doors open, bang around slamming doors giving me no more than 5 hours of sleep. I was tired and started coming late to work. It was a struggle to perform well. I asked her to change her shower routine. She did a bit but it remained late.
  • She would talk on the phone late, sometimes until 12:30am , again while knowing full well I had a busy full time job I need to be rested for. Her house her rules
  • When I was preparing dinner in the kitchen, the only time we'd typically run into each other on my work days, she'd make comments about what I was preparing, supervise my cooking by hovering over my shoulder, just being a pain. She said stuff like when I eat late, just like her mom does, I'll gain weight. She encouraged me to go to the gym and pull my shirt out to cover up my belly instead of highlight it
  • She asked me for all kinds of favors including mowing her lawn, redoing her garden, carrying heavy stuff to and from her car, moving furniture, redecorating her house, hanging up fixtures, cleaning common areas and my bathroom (she's an airbnb host and supposed to do the cleaning, after all she charges me a cleaning fee each time I book a room).., etc. She never paid me for my time and didn't discount my rent. She claimed we're friends and friends help each other, right?
  • I would foolishly share details about work and each time she'd disagree and tell me I'd think too much, I can never make decisions, then point to past issues where I rented cars for months when I wasn't sure what I was going to buy or lease, she would basically put me down at each opportunity.
  • As a result of the complaints, nagging , hovering, tracking my whereabouts - I started staying at work later and later, much to the chagrin of my boss who told me to stick to the schedule, and focus on leaving on time, even when I did unpaid overtime and was OK with that arrangement.
  • I started staying away for 11-12 hours a day to avoid my roommate but she still found a way to make my life miserable with her noise, insults and petty behavior.
  • To top it off, she's a messy person who leaves food scraps in the sink and on counters and the table for days, used paper towel, you name it. Plus clears her throat and spits her loogee in the sink. So gross.


I must have low confidence to put up with all this and continue to overpay. I tried to leave recently for a couple of nights but came back. I told her I wanted to try 1 week but she refused to accept a 1 week booking and since my stuff was still in her place and I didn't have time to move out with work being busy, she told me I had to extend it by 3 weeks.


And yet here I am. I'm still here and I don't know why. Did the victim of abuse become the abuser and have I become the victim? Help me understand why I put up with this substandard treatment.
Go to Lowes / Home Depot / Costco and buy a large floor fan (usually brown box for $10). I have one in each of our rooms and we have 2 babes. They almost sound like a jet plane engine and become very soothing over time and drown out 90% of the sound. It’s a cheap / easy solution to your sleeping noise situation.
 
Old 02-01-2019, 08:27 AM
 
3,918 posts, read 2,751,761 times
Reputation: 7216
Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde View Post
If this woman knew what was good for her, she'd spend time with me after work, ask about my day without prying, let my ears enjoy her voice and give me a goodnight kiss on the cheek.

But none of that happens.

I forget the context but I remember telling her she was a bad girl and deserved some punishment.
Please move out.
 
Old 02-01-2019, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,028 posts, read 21,748,212 times
Reputation: 22223
OP you are being an absolute creep. Move out, you are crossing a line.
 
Old 02-01-2019, 01:41 PM
 
16,797 posts, read 14,549,344 times
Reputation: 37906
"If this woman knew what was good for her, she would let me XXXXX."

Nope, not rapey at all
 
Old 02-01-2019, 03:07 PM
 
1,633 posts, read 749,302 times
Reputation: 8914
Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde View Post
One more thing. I noticed she no longer replies to my text messages like before. She used to reply within minutes or hours and in the past 3 weeks, my occasional messages get unanswered. She even left me waiting for her in a parking lot while she disappeared in a store after insisting on being dropped off at the front door instead of walking a few more feet from a parking space. This is a high maintenance, unfriendly person and yet, she still has me wrapped around her little finger. I wonder why?
It's not her. It's you.
 
Old 02-01-2019, 04:37 PM
 
Location: X marks the spot
696 posts, read 237,429 times
Reputation: 1196
Quote:
Originally Posted by sedonaverde View Post
I already confessed I like her voice. Nowadays she's in her room more often than not and declines to share it with me unless it's to grumpily grumble how late I eat dinner, did my contract get renewed yet or have I discussed it with the new boss (no and none of her business, yet she keeps asking).

I actually did ask her if it's a man or a woman she's been talking to for hours on end past 11:00pm. She replied: So what if it's a man or woman? It's not important. Hmmm I have a sneaking suspicion someone has a crush on her and that's why she told me her voice is nothing special. It seems she wants to reserve the sweet talk for someone else, and just dump her past relationship and other issues on me as if I'm her pseudo therapist. If this woman knew what was good for her, she'd spend time with me after work, ask about my day without prying, let my ears enjoy her voice and give me a goodnight kiss on the cheek. But none of that happens. I forget the context but I remember telling her she was a bad girl and deserved some punishment. She then asked what punishment and I told her I'd take away her phone (I was joking). She protested loudly.


One more thing. I noticed she no longer replies to my text messages like before. She used to reply within minutes or hours and in the past 3 weeks, my occasional messages get unanswered. She even left me waiting for her in a parking lot while she disappeared in a store after insisting on being dropped off at the front door instead of walking a few more feet from a parking space. This is a high maintenance, unfriendly person and yet, she still has me wrapped around her little finger. I wonder why?
I could understand you complaining about noise if you were studying to get your Micro Soft Certificate, instead you are staying up late, and tracking her every move. She is trying to distance herself from you, yet you continue to encroach. Your behavior is sick and wrong. What will you do when she invites her new phone friend over to the house?
 
Old 02-01-2019, 10:29 PM
 
359 posts, read 188,540 times
Reputation: 298
Miraculously, my landlord/host/roommate went to bed "early" this morning: 12:30 am on a weekday. This is about 60-90 mins earlier than her normal. Funny when I ask her to prepare for bed on time, she refuses and makes a fuss, yet when she asks me to go to bed on time ,I comply. Just another reason why she's a narcissist.
 
Old 02-01-2019, 10:31 PM
 
359 posts, read 188,540 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
OP you are being an absolute creep. Move out, you are crossing a line.

A creep, how so and which line do you suppose I'm crossing?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:43 PM.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top