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[*]She asked me for all kinds of favors including mowing her lawn, redoing her garden, carrying heavy stuff to and from her car, moving furniture, redecorating her house, hanging up fixtures, cleaning common areas and my bathroom (she's an airbnb host and supposed to do the cleaning, after all she charges me a cleaning fee each time I book a room).., etc.
How much are you paying her to be your personal maid if you won't even clean up your own bathroom? The cleaning fee isn't typically considered a maid service, but then people don't typically rent an airbnb for a year.
I don't know why I put of with her petty belittling insults. .
OP, next time she starts that, interrupt her. "Hey, (name), we're friends, right?" (be cheerful) She eyes you, quizzically, then says, "Yeah.....??" You say, "Friends don't talk to each other that way. Knock it off. Quit critiquing me. I know you'll stop, 'cause you're my friend. Thanks." Go back to what you were doing.
Report back to us.
In the meantime, look up rentals in your area. Figure out what the going rate is, approximately. Start saving up for first & last month's rent, + damage deposit. Make your escape as soon as you have enough saved, and have found a place. Give her however much notice your contract requires. No contract? Great. You can ghost on her.
How much are you paying her to be your personal maid if you won't even clean up your own bathroom? The cleaning fee isn't typically considered a maid service, but then people don't typically rent an airbnb for a year.
Interesting point. The LL referred to the situation as "roommates and friends", though, not Air B&B temporary rental.
Maybe she just calls it Air B & B so she can charge more? Or maybe the OP has an unusual schedule, that takes her out of town for weeks at a time?
Interesting point. The LL referred to the situation as "roommates and friends", though, not Air B&B temporary rental.
Maybe she just calls it Air B & B so she can charge more? Or maybe the OP has an unusual schedule, that takes her out of town for weeks at a time?
OP, could you shed some light on this for us?
I seem to remember in the OP's job/parents thread that she was going to rent an AirBnB instead of getting an actual place of her own since it was a "better deal."
OP, you're not really a "victim". Per your examples, I don't know if your LL is a "bully"... she is definitely intrusive, inconsiderate and inappropriate. If you recognize that your flaw is that you can't deal with conflict, take classes, learn with therapy sessions or get the books/info. No point in trying to rectify this situation, you've overstayed and got enmeshed. Now is the time to get your own place.
All of the background info about the roommate, including the title of the thread, is unnecessary and irrelevant. It's only being mentioned so that people will side with the OP.
In my opinion, nothing mentioned here even remotely constitutes bullying.
There's a reason why many people choose to live alone. Roommates can be difficult - especially when they live on a different schedule.
OP, you're whining like a spoiled child over common roommate conflicts. You're not a victim in this scenario.
(The spitting in the sink is pretty nasty though.)
You were bullied as a child? Boo hoo. She is bullying you now. Grow a pair and move. Do not overthink it. Find another place and move. Hire a moving firm to get your stuff out of there as fast a possible.
All of the background info about the roommate, including the title of the thread, is unnecessary and irrelevant. It's only being mentioned so that people will side with the OP.
In my opinion, nothing mentioned here even remotely constitutes bullying.
There's a reason why many people choose to live alone. Roommates can be difficult - especially when they live on a different schedule.
OP, you're whining like a spoiled child over common roommate conflicts. You're not a victim in this scenario.
(The spitting in the sink is pretty nasty though.)
+1.
Who cares when the LL showers or makes noise? Get a fan or white noise machine.
And yet here I am. I'm still here and I don't know why. Did the victim of abuse become the abuser and have I become the victim? Help me understand why I put up with this substandard treatment.
Her experience with domestic violence is unrelated to your situation.
Theres no guarantees on roommate compatability. Find a suitable living arrangement and move-on. Dont hold your breath waiting for her approvable.
Just a reminder she's the landlord, not your friend. Make sure to cover your rear end and give notice in accordance to state law to avoid consequences. Google landlord tenant laws in your state.
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