U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-23-2019, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,699 posts, read 8,483,912 times
Reputation: 29399

Advertisements

I am a member of a book club that I really enjoy. There is only one problem: the books. They are not the genre I like at all. I enjoy the ladies very much, we socialize a while before the monthly meeting starts, and they are great people. But the books are chosen a year in advance, and most of them are these boring feel good fiction novels I would never choose for myself. I'm a noob, so I won't have any input on choices for a long time. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to drop out because I enjoy the women's company and don't socialize much as it is, but I don't like paying for and reading books I don't like either. I was thinking about faking it, reading the reviews for them on Amazon, and pretending I read them, but of course that's cheating. Thoughts?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-23-2019, 08:57 AM
 
9,804 posts, read 5,008,332 times
Reputation: 33842
It doesn't seem that changing the group's chosen genre is likely, so your only two choices would be sucking it up and reading the selections so you can continue with the group, or finding a new book club that more closely matches your preferences. I don't think faking participation is fair to anyone.

You could always invite these ladies to do things outside of the book club to keep the connection going.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 09:00 AM
 
5,460 posts, read 2,298,642 times
Reputation: 16440
Being the noob, you don't really have the oomph to suggest changes. Which do you prefer: The present company or the quality of the reading? If it's the second, I'd suggest switching groups with your compliments.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,699 posts, read 8,483,912 times
Reputation: 29399
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
It doesn't seem that changing the group's chosen genre is likely, so your only two choices would be sucking it up and reading the selections so you can continue with the group, or finding a new book club that more closely matches your preferences. I don't think faking participation is fair to anyone.

You could always invite these ladies to do things outside of the book club to keep the connection going.
That's a good idea. I didn't think of that. Lack of transportation is a problem for me due to a medical condition and I live in a rural area, so a different book club is not really an option. This one is very close by.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 09:25 AM
 
1,725 posts, read 578,045 times
Reputation: 2726
So....Life in a rural area with limited transportation.

Enjoyment: the pleasant socializing but only for a short time once a month with the ladies.

The pay in: To do so, buy expensive books (any additional dues?) and hours by yourself with books you do not enjoy at all.

But there may still be a pull both ways. Both could look worthwhile depending on what else is going on in your life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
2,743 posts, read 1,703,210 times
Reputation: 8531
You're fairly new to the group, you enjoy the people, and you have limited options as far as transportation and other social outlets. Do a "pros" and "cons" list: Reading a book once a month that you don't particularly enjoy seems to me like a relatively minor price to pay in order to retain the aspects that you enjoy. My advice is to keep up with it. At some point you won't be a newbie any longer, and then perhaps you can suggest some books you will enjoy more.

It probably took me three years until I felt like a seasoned member of my local book group, but I'm so glad I stuck with it. I don't always like the books my group selects, but it is so worth it to be a part of a group of thoughtful, intelligent, fellow book lovers, and even if I hated the book, I always enjoy hearing what the others have to say about it (and sometimes my initial assessment changes after I hear other points of view). Also, I have to admit that I have enjoyed some books that I would never have selected on my own.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 10:05 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
3,874 posts, read 1,662,724 times
Reputation: 3617
Default A good book is an entire world

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
I am a member of a book club that I really enjoy. There is only one problem: the books. They are not the genre I like at all. I enjoy the ladies very much, we socialize a while before the monthly meeting starts, and they are great people. But the books are chosen a year in advance, and most of them are these boring feel good fiction novels I would never choose for myself. I'm a noob, so I won't have any input on choices for a long time. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to drop out because I enjoy the women's company and don't socialize much as it is, but I don't like paying for and reading books I don't like either. I was thinking about faking it, reading the reviews for them on Amazon, and pretending I read them, but of course that's cheating. Thoughts?
Yah, but you don't have to pay whole price. If the books are selected a year in advance, you can scout your local public library & place holds, & not have to pay individually for books. (Check to see if they have Homebound services - if you can't get around easily, they may deliver or mail them to you - for free or a nominal fee - that's up to your local library). You can also try Interlibrary Book Loan through your library - they'll try to source books for you - but lending libraries in the network may object to lending best-sellers. There can also be a fee for Interlibrary - usually nominal - postage & a small handling fee.


Failing that, check to see if your local state university library will let you borrow books (they usually do, but the budget problems nationally are making them start to look @ a nominal fee. If they have the books you want, it may be worthwhile. I don't know if they'd mail books out to you.) You can usually access public library catalogs & your account, & the same for college library catalogs - by Internet. You might also look for any congenial chat groups online - book discussions, any topics you're interested in.


Last, assuming you have a PC & online access @ home - look for the books on free books online services - Project Gutenberg, etc. You may be able to access more free books @ home through your local public library - they may have a free portal to the state library system or some other national system. Worse comes to worse, you don't usually have to pay retail (the full price for a new physical book) for an e-book - although it may only be for a limited time to borrow it.


We tend to search through thrift & used stores for books - sometimes you can find bargains there. Best of luck with it!

Last edited by southwest88; 01-23-2019 at 10:27 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 10:19 AM
 
9,804 posts, read 5,008,332 times
Reputation: 33842
Quote:
Originally Posted by southwest88 View Post
Yah, but you don't have to pay whole price. If the books are selected a year in advance, you can scout your local public library & place holds, & not have to pay individually for books. (Check to see if they have Homebound services - if you can't get around easily, they may deliver or mail them to you - for free or a nominal fee - that's up to your local library). You can also try Interlibrary Book Loan through your library - they'll try to source books for you - but lending libraries in the network may object to lending best-sellers. There can also be a fee for Interlibrary - usually nominal - postage & a small handling fee.

Failing that, check to see if your local state university library will let you borrow books (they usually do, but the budget problems nationally are making them start to look @ a nominal fee. If they have the books you want, it may be worthwhile. I don't know if they'd mail books out to you.) You can usually access public library catalogs & your account, & the same for college library catalogs - by Internet. You might also look for any congenial chat groups online - book discussions, any topics you're interested in.

Last, assuming you have a PC & online access @ home - look for the books on free books online services - Project Gutenberg, etc. You may be able to access more free books @ home through your local public library - they may have a free portal to the state library system or some other national system. Worse comes to worse, you don't usually have to pay retail for an e-book - although it may only be for a limited time to borrow it.

We tend to search through thrift & used stores for books - sometimes you can find bargains there. Best of luck with it!
Another option is PaperbackSwap. Great site for trading books with other users!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Scrapple country
1,548 posts, read 1,279,725 times
Reputation: 4582
I don't think it would be cheating to read the synopsis on Amazon. Good friend groups are hard to find, so you definitely want to stick with that. But I too would not want to waste money - or time - reading fluff.

When you're there long enough to start making suggestions, maybe you can find books that are a bridge between the choices they're used to and more intellectually stimulating books. Classics like The Color Purple, maybe. Or books with protagonists that the other women can identify with, but with more challenging plots.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-23-2019, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Scrapple country
1,548 posts, read 1,279,725 times
Reputation: 4582
Also: library sales are a great place to find recent fiction.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top