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Old 01-26-2019, 06:17 PM
 
762 posts, read 212,458 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
This is not an advice thread! I was not asking for advice. What people say here will have no effect on what I do about genuinely being invited to someone's residence. I just want to hear about others' personal experiences or lack thereof.
I get what you're trying to do with the thread and keep it general, but some examples of what you mean-- even if hypothetical and you made them up-- would help people to understand. As people said early in the thread, it's hard to know what you're talking about. You mean I go over there and they want to watch TV together rather than talking? Or we sit on the couch and they pretend I'm not there and refuse to respond to my attempts at conversation? Or they sit me down on the couch and then go into another room and do something else? Or we're sitting there and they pull out a book and start reading? Or...?
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Old 01-26-2019, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Worcester MA
1,743 posts, read 291,916 times
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In my 20s this happened a lot with various friends, but it was just hanging out, nothing uncomfortable about it. For example, I might go to a friend's place and stay the whole day and watch tv or a movie or read a book. She also might watch with me or read or even leave to go run errands. If someone called her, she talked to them and I continued watching tv or reading or napping. I did not feel slighted about it. We talked to each other if we felt like it (not ignoring), but there wasn't always constant interacting with each other. Then finally I'd say, well I better go home now and that was it.
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Old 01-26-2019, 07:04 PM
 
9,137 posts, read 9,143,118 times
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Hard to say without more information. For starters, were you specifically invited? Would you enjoy the visit even if you were annoyed? (For instance, maybe you were happy to take advantage of the host's swimming pool or beer selection.) Does this happen just with you, or is the host that way with everyone?

Yes, it's probably weird and rude. So my question would be, why haven't you addressed it already? You could ask earnestly and seriously, or you could poke the host playfully in the ribs and say, "Hey, am I invisible or what?"

If you want to go, go.
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Old 01-26-2019, 09:52 PM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,913 posts, read 2,324,649 times
Reputation: 1867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taffee72 View Post
In my 20s this happened a lot with various friends, but it was just hanging out, nothing uncomfortable about it. For example, I might go to a friend's place and stay the whole day and watch tv or a movie or read a book. She also might watch with me or read or even leave to go run errands. If someone called her, she talked to them and I continued watching tv or reading or napping. I did not feel slighted about it. We talked to each other if we felt like it (not ignoring), but there wasn't always constant interacting with each other. Then finally I'd say, well I better go home now and that was it.
If it were hanging out for a half-day or more, I'd understand. I suppose maybe I could hang out for more hours than I do - I usually leave soon after the main interaction is over. I think it's treated too casually and it's mostly about that person taking social company for granted and definitely not resentment of my presence. I've learned enough during this thread that, like my visits, it's been worth it despite some irritation.
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Old 01-27-2019, 06:54 AM
 
87 posts, read 82,977 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
I realize the OP excluded close family but I don't feel like following the rules given the paucity of information provided and the evasive replies. So I'm taking over this thread. Keep your hands away from the keyboard and no one gets hurt. Any objections?

On my last visit to my mother, she watched TV the entire time we were there. It was one of those disaster documentaries, with crashes of airplanes and helicopters. The irony wasn't lost on me. When the show was over she got up and said, "Time for you to go."

She knew we were coming.
lol. I like her. Give me a person who doesn't make you guess what they want.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:15 AM
 
11,196 posts, read 8,335,602 times
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I completely forgot the time I met an old out-of-state Marine buddy at a Parrot Head concert. He and his friend moved away from me the whole night. He later apologized and admitted he was doing acid which further aggravated me cuz I could have really messed with his head!
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Old 01-27-2019, 10:28 AM
 
2,677 posts, read 1,054,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
If you visit someone - let's exclude close family - for a few hours or so and your host hardly talks or interacts with you and there's no other visitor or special situation to tend to, isn't that weird and rude? Does that happen to you, and if so, doesn't that make you less likely to visit?
Spoiler
I'm asking partly because that's a recurring issue for me with someone that I could visit soon if I wanted to.

It should be obvious to you that your host does not want you there but they are being passive about it so they give you the cold shoulder instead?
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,036 posts, read 3,925,065 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
No, I've never been invited over to somone's home and then been ignored. I don't think I would stay a few hours if that was happening, I would leave pretty quickly.
This exactly!
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Old 01-27-2019, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,105 posts, read 3,520,857 times
Reputation: 18909
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen View Post
If you visit someone - let's exclude close family - for a few hours or so and your host hardly talks or interacts with you and there's no other visitor or special situation to tend to, isn't that weird and rude? Does that happen to you, and if so, doesn't that make you less likely to visit?
Spoiler
I'm asking partly because that's a recurring issue for me with someone that I could visit soon if I wanted to.
This happened to me when I visited a co-worker friend of my husband's, the wife would ignore me to an extreme and I figured she didn't like me. And I couldn't just leave, I was there with my spouse and it wouldn't have been fair to him, to walk out.

A few years later she got into a MLM and wanted to be my friend all of a sudden.

People who do deliberately ignore a guest are rude, they should at least greet you, ask you how things are going, etcetera.
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Old 01-28-2019, 12:25 AM
 
Location: all over the place (figuratively)
2,913 posts, read 2,324,649 times
Reputation: 1867
Who wouldn't greet a guest that he or she invited? That would be extremely rude.
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