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Old 01-27-2019, 08:36 PM
Status: "All Tangled Up... ❤️" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
1,522 posts, read 678,272 times
Reputation: 3053

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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblue100 View Post
He is 28 years old, but emotionally he is about 10. He lives with his parents, enjoys seeing movies and playing games rated for younger kids, and when he gets mad at anybody, he storms off into another room and shuts the door. I've seen him absolutely flip out when one of his other friends didn't want to go on a ride with him at a water park and tell him to go home. Our friend circle has said that he's basically like a child, but he's still a good guy most of the time. I don't think he has any disorder or anything, he's just very immature, but I turn the other cheek because I don't want to lose him as a friend. So perhaps with a person like him, I should be more understanding, but it's hard to say. His parents have even grounded him recently for an unrelated thing.
I wonder what disagreeable things he could say about you in turn, because right now, he's not the one acting like a 10 year old... that's you stomping your feet because you aren't getting your own way.

Grow up and actually BE a friend to him.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:36 PM
 
375 posts, read 390,594 times
Reputation: 259
Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
There may be reasons that he does not want to drive you that he does not want to share with you. Are you certain that he has automobile insurance? He may not, or his car may not even be registered, due to missing a smog check or something. Maybe he has had an automobile accident in the past (or fears one) and does not want to be responsible for someone else.

Maybe, as others have mentioned, he simply does not want to stay out as late as you do.

In any case, I don't think you should be so put out that he has declined to be your chauffeur for the evening.
It does not mean he is selfish.
He has driven me in the past for non-drinking events, almost every time we go to the movies, bowling, etc, so it isn't about insurance or registration. Its just his shortness of temper about it that bothered me the most, without any explanation.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:41 PM
 
375 posts, read 390,594 times
Reputation: 259
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I'm sure it was surprising. He must have had something happen in the past to make him feel that way. I guess you can be thankful he was direct with you instead of agreeing to do it but acting quiet the whole night.
Yes, that is true. And thank you for seeing what I'm saying and not making me out to be the bad guy like many of these other posters.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
5,613 posts, read 3,605,576 times
Reputation: 16416
You might be surprised at how annoying people who are drinking can appear to non-drinkers. Since your friend doesn't drink, he's probably wanting to keep his options open so he can leave the bar early (and keep in mind, he may not enjoy going to bars at all, and has agreed to do so on this occasion only because it's your birthday) if he feels that the drinking has exceeded his comfort level. He might have felt differently if you had held your get-together in a restaurant, where the main purpose is eating, and drinking is a sideline thing; instead of at a bar where drinking is the primary purpose and eating is secondary. But regardless, he has given you his answer, and that's that.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:48 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,952 posts, read 69,907,126 times
Reputation: 75743
IDK, OP. I don't think it's appropriate to try to pressure him, through another of the guests. No means no. The neighbor has his reasons. Hopefully, an Uber would be safe? Or you being the b-day girl, maybe another one of your friends would drive you home.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:51 PM
 
375 posts, read 390,594 times
Reputation: 259
Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
You might be surprised at how annoying people who are drinking can appear to non-drinkers. Since your friend doesn't drink, he's probably wanting to keep his options open so he can leave the bar early (and keep in mind, he may not enjoy going to bars at all, and has agreed to do so on this occasion only because it's your birthday) if he feels that the drinking has exceeded his comfort level. He might have felt differently if you had held your get-together in a restaurant, where the main purpose is eating, and drinking is a sideline thing; instead of at a bar where drinking is the primary purpose and eating is secondary. But regardless, he has given you his answer, and that's that.
This place is both a restaurant and a bar. We were planning on sitting at the bar and having a few drinks and then eating dinner at a table. He has been to the establishment several times to eat with his family. But no, I'm not going to push it anymore.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
17,999 posts, read 22,732,087 times
Reputation: 34905
It actually sounds reasonable to me. Obviously, your pal doesn't want to deal with the fallout of your night out.
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Old 01-27-2019, 08:57 PM
 
9,880 posts, read 3,931,322 times
Reputation: 24939
Do you have Uber or Lyft?
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Old 01-27-2019, 09:36 PM
 
375 posts, read 390,594 times
Reputation: 259
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Do you have Uber or Lyft?
I have it and am going to use it.
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Old 01-27-2019, 10:07 PM
 
9,641 posts, read 4,900,051 times
Reputation: 33265
Sorry, I'm with your friend. Don't assume that the non-drinker wants to be your chauffeur. If you've ever had someone puke in your car, you would understand.

I don't care how "responsible" my friends claim they're planning to be. I don't want drinkers in my car anymore.
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