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I quit drinking about 25 years ago. I had a problem with what I call “open ended” drinking - happy hours, wedding receptions, things like that. But I wasn’t getting drunk every night. After an embarassing situation in front of my boss at a happy hour, I decided I needed to quit. Add in the fact my husband couldn’t drink any more due to inner ear and balance problems, it has not been a difficult decision.
I have the utmost respect for anyone who has beat an addiction - alcohol, drugs, smoking, eating, gambling, over spending, etc. I don’t care if people drink around me, although most of our close friends don’t drink either. I think as people get older, and have seen what havoc an addiction can cause, they tend to be more compassionate to those who choose to stop.
I certainly wouldn't worry about saying "No thank you. I can't drink because of health issues." This could be anything, from alcoholism recovery to medication interactions to allergies.
Anyone should drop the issue immediately after that, especially if the person who is saying this is taking the "live and let live" approach. If anyone has an issue with that, they aren't worth associating with.
I am biased because I have a family member I love very much who struggles with substance abuse.
It absolutely pisses me off that anyone would challenge someone who is trying to stay sober (and in my relative's case, it is "life or death").
I also despise the alcohol saturated (no pun intended) culture, where every holiday is an excuse to binge drink. I hate American society for creating alcohol as such a necessary adjunct to life itself.
Pot is a much less deadly form of altering one's consciousness, if you HAVE to have an altered consciousness (and according to "studies," from the beginning of time this has been sought after.
Pia Mellody said reality is too painful for some people.
I lost several friends after I became sober. I have been sober since April 13, 1995, thanks to the AA. Prior to that I started my mornings with either Kalua in my coffee or vodka in my orange juice, and it continued throughout the day. I truly was the life of the party....except I never remembered the parties!
Several close 'friends' quit hanging out with me with I got sober. I did not preach about AA or try to convert them. I just realized that I would either be in jail, an institution or dead if I kept going the way I was.
He doesn't need to share his decision with the world. I think if he's out where people are drinking, he should just get a club soda with a lime in it and carry it around. If someone asks what he's drinking, he can say a club soda. If they ask why he's not drinking or if he wants a drink, he can just "I don't drink and drive," or "not today, thanks." And then just turn the conversation around quickly. People probably won't care anywhere near as much as he's worried about.
"No thanks, not today. So, how's the job going?"
If cornered and he feels like he needs to explain more, he can just say he's taking a medication he can't drink with, or he's having some stomach issues. He doesn't have to get into a conversation about having a drinking "problem."
But, odds are, most people won't notice or care. Or, they'll already be aware he had a problem and will be glad he stopped.
Its based on a case by case behavior and consistency to remain sober . I'm supportive to an extent. My Recovery radar is 100% accurate. Is there a stigma, certainly! That stigma is the motivator to GET sobriety, and the catalyst to remain sober. Go figure.
I don't hire a band or bake a cake though if someone is new to the path. Again, the radar recovery knows better.
I don't drink, but had to attend many happy hours, etc. in business settings. I would get a wait person aside and arrange to be served orange juice over ice. And told them if some one wanted what I was drinking to put a shot of the harshest tasting liquor they had in the orange juice for them. No ever wanted more than one of my drink, and no one else at that party would even try it. Has worked for me for over 60 years.
I would say that people know themselves and usually make the right decisions. Some people are able to drink light enough for it to actually be healthy, while to some it is an addictive disease.
Frank Zappa might have said it best about drinking: "Drinking allows people to be an *******."
So I guess to some people it's like therapy, and when you leave the group you are leaving them behind.
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