People who don't enjoy the company of others (person, introverted, Christmas)
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You couldn't be more wrong. I LOVE being ALONE. But reality is reality. And people eating alone in restaurants is sad. It just is.
But does that really matter? Unless we die at the same moment as our spouses, all of us will take our turn being pitied by the general public when we are old and alone. That's just life at the end of life.
That is your reality and your reality alone...
Quit projecting your insecurities on other people.
Oddly, if I see someone eating a steak at a bar, the pity reflex doesn’t kick in. Seems more diner-like I guess. Of course the bottom line is who cares if they are being pitied? If you want a good meal and you have to do it alone, and a few people stare, screw them. There’s worse things than being pitied.
Also, something else just occurred to me. I feel far more pity for a woman eating alone in a restaurant setting, than a man. Probably latent sexism, but it seems sadder if the lone diner is a woman. I usually equate being a loner as more of a male problem.
Read the book "Quiet"
Might change your small, rigid attitude.
Pity? That's silly. Loners love eating alone....
you sound like someone needy, who has to have people around all the time.
You couldn't be more wrong. I LOVE being ALONE. But reality is reality. And people eating alone in restaurants is sad. It just is.
But does that really matter? Unless we die at the same moment as our spouses, all of us will take our turn being pitied by the general public when we are old and alone. That's just life at the end of life.
Are you seriously serious?? The "general public " could give two sh*its whether old people are alone or not. The ONLY time I get a pity look from others is when or if I have to say I am a widow. THEN people are sorry for my loss and it passes within seconds when I thank them and say it's okay.
You can deny all you want and you certainly DO, the fact is your words SCREAM insecurity bigtime. Methinks he doth protest too much.
Awwww.....the couple next door just sent over a box of Russell Stover chocolates for Valentine's Day! See, I DO have friends even though I choose not to "hang" with them. This year was the first time in 7 years since hubby died that I received a Christmas present from these people too. They are the son and his gf of my friend I live with. It DOES feel good but I still wouldn't have expected it nor fall to pieces if it had been the usual....nothing. My family is dead, what can I do except accept that fact of my life. What would you have me do? Wallow in misery for what years are left of my life? Not. Who I feel badly for is young people who lose a spouse. THAT is a kick in the teeth and I always hope they find another companion. My husband wished that for me but that turns out to not be MY wish.
I used to think like Marc Paolella does when I was in high school, but these insecurities he feels were gone by college some decades ago. I can't remember the last time I gaf what others were doing around me, or thinking about me no matter what I was doing.
Maybe that's it - he's still in high school or perhaps never let go of that mentality of living his life terrified that others may pity him or bored out of his mind with his own company?
Pity? That's silly. Loners love eating alone....
you sound like someone needy, who has to have people around all the time.
Afraid to hear yourself think???
Agree on the book. Its excellent. I think I might be somewhat of an enigma. I'm an introvert, but not an extreme one. I do get tired of going home after work to an empty house with nobody else there. I also can occasionally feel uncomfortable eating out alone, though I've had to do a lot of that since living where I now live. I also go to movies alone, though its not what I prefer. I don't need people around all the time, though I'm not a loner either. Maybe I'm an ambivert.
I think being uncomfortable eating out alone is partly an age thing. When I was young, I would never have considered it. I could just sense the judgment or whatever. Now, not such a big deal as I care less about what others think.
My DW does not like to make new friends, socialize, etc. During our courtship and marriage, I've had to work her into my social circles or go out without her.
Nowadays, after many years and several relocations, I find that I am no longer interested in making new friends or socializing, etc. We are quite happy in each others company and spending time visiting our family here and there.
Quit projecting your insecurities on other people.
Guy is completely clueless. I pity the fool who relies on others as a crutch. You can tell which one is the dependant one when you see them out with the group, just happy to be there. I feel sorry for people who are that weak and empty inside.
I think people are lonely when their reality doesn't match their expectations/ideas of how things should be. So someone who doesn't have m/any friends can be perfectly happy if that is what s/he wants for him/herself, whereas someone who would love to have many friends, but doesn't, will be unhappy and feel lonely. And societal attitudes that "loners" are pitiful creatures or budding psychopaths don't help at all.
Personally, I find social interaction with large(ish) groups awkward and uncomfortable and exhausting. I do much better with just a few people, though that also gets draining after a couple hours. About the only person I can very happily be with 24/7 is my husband, who is also rather introverted. And I am okay with that.
I love being alone.
If I'm off on the middle of the week I need that time away from my kids and husband.
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