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Old 02-13-2019, 06:47 PM
 
9,191 posts, read 16,597,259 times
Reputation: 11295

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
Nasty, my foot. Let me guess. You went to Cancun or some such to get married and you don't like the other side's point of view.

As far as the rest of your post is concerned, it's absolutely ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the notion of sending an invitation to one's storybook wedding in Hawaii to people whom you don't actually care if they attend or if they cannot attend.

Let me put it this way. You're getting married. You and your intended decide to go to...say...Aruba to say your vows. You book the reservation at the resort with the expectation that X number of people will arrive. If they do, your honeymoon suite is free! Bonus! So it could be interpreted that you're sending out way more invitations than you actually expect to attend so you can fill up your quota of rooms. Talk to any travel agent who specializes in this stuff. It's part of the game.

So you send out the invitation to family members and friends who love you. But your Uncle Bill was just laid off two months ago at the plant, your sister just started her job a couple of months earlier, and your grandmothers both are in their late 70s and aren't as spry as they used to me. One is putting off a hip replacement while the other one isn't in the best of health. All of these people love you and want nothing more than to see you get hitched. But while a quick three-day weekend is in the realm of possibility for all them, an international trip, including passports, just isn't in the cards.

Now. Which one of these people did you not care about attending your wedding? Now that's a nasty perspective.
Boy, something really bad must have happened to come up with such a sad, jaded perspective. Not everything is a some wild conspiracy trying to pull a fast one on others.

Again, typically a smaller celebration is held locally for those that couldn't attend the destination wedding. You're free to attend that, if it's more within your means and it's offered, or simply sending a nice card will suffice. The couple is well aware that not everyone can attend a destination wedding. but it's their day and if it's what they want, so be it. It's certainly nothing to get all huffy and bothered over.

Last edited by DetroitN8V; 02-13-2019 at 06:55 PM..
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:01 PM
 
5,428 posts, read 4,433,360 times
Reputation: 7263
I had a friend who did this a couple years back. I skipped both the bachelor party and the wedding. I didn't want to go. I felt he was asking way too much.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,334,679 times
Reputation: 25947
Quote:
Originally Posted by DetroitN8V View Post
Boy, something really bad must have happened to come up with such a sad, jaded perspective. Not everything is a some wild conspiracy trying to pull a fast one on others.

Again, typically a smaller celebration is held locally for those that couldn't attend the destination wedding. You're free to attend that, if it's more within your means and it's offered, or simply sending a nice card will suffice. The couple is well aware that not everyone can attend a destination wedding. but it's their day and if it's what they want, so be it. It's certainly nothing to get all huffy and bothered over.
I agree. I don't understand getting all upset about it. I've been invited to weddings and showers I couldn't attend. They didn't murder me because of it. They didn't even end the friendship in most cases. Sometimes we drifted apart but that was mainly due to me being single and them being married, and going our separate ways eventually. There was no drama over me not attending.

One thing I've noticed, generally speaking, is that people love to hate on people who are getting married and throwing a wedding.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Nashville TN
192 posts, read 257,126 times
Reputation: 458
I think you live an unthinkably glam lifestyle I could never imagine and are a bit spoiled, frankly. I've never been to a "destination" wedding nor a "bachlertte" party. Some of you do this once every 8 weeks or even more. Cray cray.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Canada
14,723 posts, read 14,885,577 times
Reputation: 34775
Default Friends that have both a destination wedding and destination bachelor/bachelorette party. Do you find it inconsiderate?

I'm really glad that not everyone finds it popular and that it's just some trendy thing that only a few people do. I think it goes far beyond inconsiderate. It's without a doubt one of stupidest, most thoughtless, insulting and selfish trends I've ever heard of. The wedding couples who plan these destination things have to know that not many of their loved ones will be able to attend so what is the sense and purpose in it? I interpret it as nothing other than a way for the wedding couples to exclude and snub people at the same time as they're putting out invitations for wedding gifts from them.

It has always been the tradition that people had their stag and bridal parties and their weddings and receptions in their home towns where all their friends and families could attend, EVERYBODY could have a good time, and then the newlyweds went off alone to some fun destination for their honeymoon. I hope this trend of destination parties/weddings dies quickly and people get back to the good old time honoured traditions that everyone can enjoy.

.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,334,679 times
Reputation: 25947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoisite View Post
It has always been the tradition that people had their stag and bridal parties and their weddings and receptions in their home towns where all their friends and families could attend, EVERYBODY could have a good time, and then the newlyweds went off alone to some fun destination for their honeymoon. I hope this trend of destination parties/weddings dies quickly and people get back to the good old time honoured traditions that everyone can enjoy.

.
Nope. Very wrong. The fact is, weddings have traditionally been held in the bride's home town. And if the groom was from somewhere else, that meant that his entire family and friends would have to travel to the wedding. So traveling for weddings is nothing new.

Not every couple getting married has both sides of their friends and family who all live in the same town. That's quite rare these days, in fact.

There's always going to be someone who is going to have to travel or not attend. That's just reality, unfortunately.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:40 PM
 
16,390 posts, read 12,405,212 times
Reputation: 59501
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
This is true. But inviting people to a wedding in a location where the bride and groom are living, or one of the parents live, is a far cry from choosing a destination wedding in a part of the world where no one lives. In the first scenario, the choice of a location understandable and logical. In the second scenario, it's no more the fulfillment of a whim.
But part of the reasoning might include the belief that if they're going to ask most of their friends and family to travel, they'd prefer to go someplace warm with a beach than to travel to East BFE where there's nothing to do.
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Old 02-13-2019, 11:00 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
Reputation: 2345
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Nope. Very wrong. The fact is, weddings have traditionally been held in the bride's home town. And if the groom was from somewhere else, that meant that his entire family and friends would have to travel to the wedding. So traveling for weddings is nothing new.

Not every couple getting married has both sides of their friends and family who all live in the same town. That's quite rare these days, in fact.

There's always going to be someone who is going to have to travel or not attend. That's just reality, unfortunately.
There’s a difference between “some who will have to travel” and “everyone will have to travel”. Big difference.
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Old 02-14-2019, 02:27 AM
 
Location: Canada
14,723 posts, read 14,885,577 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928 View Post
There’s a difference between “some who will have to travel” and “everyone will have to travel”. Big difference.

Exactly.
.
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Old 02-14-2019, 06:13 AM
 
Location: NJ
23,838 posts, read 33,397,843 times
Reputation: 30707
Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928 View Post
I do. I think it's okay if you have one as a destination, but to ask people twice to spend a significant amount of money for you (and sometimes vacation time) to travel twice for you I think is inconsiderate.

For example one friend of mine had his bachelor party in Las Vegas and his wedding in Jamaica. Now another friend of mine, where all his friends and family live in the Midwest (same deal with his wife) is having his wedding in Santa Barbara, California where neither of them is from nor do they really have family or friends there. I was fine with that. But today I just got an invite to his bachelor party and it's going to be in Miami.

It's like come on, I get it's a big event, but I personally would not want any of my friends to spend that much money on me. Especially when the wedding is in May and the Bachelor party in April.

Like with the first friend I didn't go to the Bachelor Party in Las Vegas, won't go to the one in Miami now. Don't want to spend my time and PTO on places I have been to so many times just to get drunk and wasted like I have so many other times.
Very inconsiderate, that's coming from someone that went to Florida to Cypress Gardens with just my hub to be married. We didn't invite anyone for that reason, why should they spend their money to see us get married. The day was about us and without having everyone there it really was about us and our love. We also had a great time during our ceremony; we laughed so much.

We did have a few people there, some that were local that I knew from a rose forum I used to go to. They didn't dress up either and it was fine.

I felt like a princess being the only one in a wedding gown. They had a bunch of ladies walking around with huge gowns that resembled Disney Princesses. We actually made a news paper; the gal I bought my gown from submitted our picture.

Anyway, it's ridiculous ask people to go away for bachelor and bachelorette parties. As you say people spend their money and use vacation time. It's also inconsiderate to be married at a destination wedding, especially if the bride and groom aren't footing the bill. Also asking people to be in your wedding to have them pay their own gowns and tux rentals in addition to having to travel. Now you need a huge part of your savings just for one couple. I honestly would decline the invite.
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