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Really, how is a destination wedding different from a couple getting married in their home town when all their friends are spread far and wide?
Unless you happen to be from a tourist destination then taking a trip to, say, Le Mars, Iowa is probably a little less expensive than a trip to Jamaica. Especially if a good portion of my friends are also from Le Mars, Iowa and their parents still live there. Obviously there is an exception to every rule and there are people that actually were born and raised in places like Miami and Las Vegas.
Clearly people can get married wherever they want as long as they reasonably expect some people won't be able to afford to attend and don't get put out about it.
That's different though if everyone is spread. But if the majority of your friends and family all live in the same city and metro and you do destination, I feel that is inconsiderate.
My sister had a destination wedding. Her husband made his bachelor party destination too. She told me that her and her husband were going to save $15k by having their wedding in the Dominican Republic rather than the US. They also chose an all inclusive resort. That's great they got to save money. Instead of $40k they paid $25k. She said it was cheaper. All my family and all my bro-in-laws family, we all live in the same city.
But the guests each had to pay about $2-$3k in total between airfare and stay at the resort. There were 60 guests 60x$2k, that's $120k. Yes, the wedding was cheaper on their end, but overall the wedding was a lot more expensive. With that being said cousins he grew up with couldn't go because they couldn't afford it. My grandma who is super close to my sister couldn't go because they couldn't afford it. I had to help pay for my mom and aunt because they couldn't afford it.
So it's these things that I talk about.
Wedding couples often get their room paid for along with other kickbacks depending on the number of paying guests they bring into the resort.
Destination weddings used to be more for the concept of purposely limiting the guest list, usually to immediate family and/or a very small wedding party, if that. Many were simple elopements. They were a means to avoid the stress and expense of inviting every relative and friend. I remember when the wedding was often announced after it actually happened at the destination but somehow it has evolved into inviting larger numbers of people. Just my experience.
I honestly will never go to another destination wedding. We spent over $2K to go to a good friend's wedding only for the dude to cheat on her and them to get divorced within less than a year. Yes the party was fun and it was a good vacation but it wasn't money I wanted to spend and I could have gone somewhere else with that money since I had already been to that destination multiple times. But alas all our friends were going and we loved them so we went, had fun but boy do I wish I could venmo request him for the money spent.
Oh and they both had destination bachelor/bachelorette parties...we didn't go to those.
OP. I'd go to one or the other if you feel you have to attend any of it but don't force yourself if you really don't want to go. Its your money and your time and they don't sound like that great of friends anyway since they won't even read your book.
I honestly will never go to another destination wedding. We spent over $2K to go to a good friend's wedding only for the dude to cheat on her and them to get divorced within less than a year. Yes the party was fun and it was a good vacation but it wasn't money I wanted to spend and I could have gone somewhere else with that money since I had already been to that destination multiple times. But alas all our friends were going and we loved them so we went, had fun but boy do I wish I could venmo request him for the money spent.
Oh and they both had destination bachelor/bachelorette parties...we didn't go to those.
OP. I'd go to one or the other if you feel you have to attend any of it but don't force yourself if you really don't want to go. Its your money and your time and they don't sound like that great of friends anyway since they won't even read your book.
I probably won't go to the bachelor party. I will go to the wedding though. I discussed this with my sister recently. This specific friend we grew distant and then got real close again. THEN his fiance who he is about to marry they broke up and they were broken up for a year. Guess who he came running to? Me. I was there and he started to invest more in our friendship. Then when they got back together he started to disappear. Now that I think of it too, he is another friend that didn't read my short story.
The funny thing is he makes more of an effort to contact me to connect me with my friend who sells weed than actually take time to hang out with me. I think he has seen my friend he sells him weed (they are not friends) more than he has seen me. I already bought the airfare ticket for the wedding and as did my date. So I will go to the wedding.
But after the wedding, I am not putting anymore effort in the friendship (and this has nothing to do with it being a destination wedding). I think it was just the destination wedding made me realize I have made the effort and he really hasn't.
First wedding I gave an example yes, this recent one no.
You're not in the wedding party, and you're not even that close to the groom. I don't see what the issue is in declining the invitation. I'm surprised you would even be invited to the bachelor trip. Usually, those types of bachelor parties seem to be for the wedding party and close friends/family.
You're not in the wedding party, and you're not even that close to the groom. I don't see what the issue is in declining the invitation. I'm surprised you would even be invited to the bachelor trip. Usually, those types of bachelor parties seem to be for the wedding party and close friends/family.
Who said I am not close to the groom.He was one of my best friends, we've been friends for over a decade. In the past couple of years we don't see each other as much, but we were best of friends. So not sure where you are getting that we aren't close.
Who said I am not close to the groom.He was one of my best friends, we've been friends for over a decade. In the past couple of years we don't see each other as much, but we were best of friends. So not sure where you are getting that we aren't close.
From your other posts, such as this one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928
I see him what, every 6 months? He lives 2 miles away from me so it's not distance....
It's about how the couple wants to celebrate THEIR event. If you can't or don't want to attend, I'm sure they'll understand. They made a choice to have their celebrations at locations that require travel. They did that knowing that not everyone can attend. Perhaps they did it BECAUSE of that. Go if you want to and can, don't if you don't or can't. It's nothing to get upset over.
I heard of one bachelorette party that I wouldn't mind attending. A friend of mine was one of 12 bridesmaids. The bride paid to take the entire bridal party to Disney for a weekend (airfaire, accomodations, park tickets, meals). Upon arrival at the resort, each of the girls received a Vera Bradley/Disney duffel bag containing two personalized tee shirts (one for each day in the parks, and they matched the other girls), Disney charm bracelets, matching Mickey ears (two pair, to match the tee shirts) and Disney pajamas (plus some filler like snacks, bottles of water, etc).
I can't remember where the wedding was, but I seem to remember it being a destination wedding. If someone had given me a weekend at Disney with a bunch of gifts, I might be a bit less reluctant to spend some money to attend their wedding. LOL
Last edited by hertfordshire; 02-12-2019 at 03:41 PM..
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