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This is an update to my previous non romantic and psychology threads about my airbnb host/landlord, with whom I've been living for the past year. After describing her behavior to the CD forum community, described as controlling, inconsiderate and hostile. I was urged to either discuss my concerns with her, announce I was planning to move out and ultimately actually do it.
I followed CD' advice and informed my airbnb host/landlord that I had booked another room on airbnb for 2.5 weeks on a trial basis and that I planned to move out of her house temporarily (although I knew that if I liked the other room, I wouldn't return. I told my host that I just needed a few days to actually move out since I was very busy at work, had some commitments, etc. She had no minimum length of time to book her room and in the past I had booked 2-4 weeks, so I thought I could just do 1 week this time and be done with it.
But she completely freaked out when I gave her notice I planned to move out. She demanded to know why. I explained how her loud night owl tendencies were not compatible with my schedule and that I wanted to rent a room where the live in landlord respected quiet hours from like 11pm-7am (or similar). Not one that thought it was OK to be talking on the phone past midnight even on weeknights, banging drawers, complaining to me, etc. She accused me of being too sensitive and immature. That people my age have houses, are married, have kids...and yet I can't even make up my mind about where I want to live. I did so much for this woman. I volunteered my time around the house, I helped her friend, her mom, I raked leaves, I did housework, gardening, all unpaid. She said I had a big belly, she said I'm a big kid...and several other insults.
I booked another room, but suddenly my host/landlord demanded I give her 2 weeks notice like her other tenants even though I had booked on airbnb and had the option to check out with zero notice. She tried to get info about the other host I booked with. She wanted to know the address (I hid that from her). She wanted to know the price (I told her, then she said I waste too much time moving, I should spend time at work..good point but none of her business). When I told her I booked another room elsewhere for 2.5 weeks, she wanted me to contact the other host to cancel it (hosts are penalized if they cancel). She even suggested I call airbnb to get the reservation cancelled on a technicality. The other listing (room ad) indicated there was an amenity (feature) I was interested in but when I contacted the host, I found out it was no longer included.
Anyway, now my host demanded 2 weeks notice, so she almost forced me to book for 2 weeks or pay her 2 weeks in cash, but I convinced her to accept 1 week for now. She keeps hounding me saying my news to move out is bad timing (after I paid her over $15,000 in rent the past year, way more than I should have) , how it's unfair to her, how it'll take her weeks to find a new roommate (guest/tenant), etc. etc. She keeps bothering me every time I see her. I stayed late at work tonight just to avoid her, then she cornered me upstairs. I finally saw her in her "sleeping clothes" as she calls them (pajamas), which was going to be part of my trust test (I show her my pj's , she shows me hers), and frankly I felt no attraction . It's really no big deal. I also didn't see any skin, so that makes a difference.
I also told her that the reason I have to move is because of her voice, because sometimes it makes me feel happy while other times it reminds me of my ex gf. I admitted my ex gf is the same ethnicity as her / from the same region, hence the similarity. I remember smiling when my ex spoke and that was over 10 years ago so I'm still not over it. In short, I want to move out, I've taken steps and I can see myself being gone before the end of the month, but I want this break out to be amicable and still try to stay on good terms as I may need her as a reference in the future. Any suggestions? I could also use advice on what to say when this woman gets in my business and asks about my financial/job/other room reservations situation. It's none of her beeswax and yet I'm too much of a pushover to call her out on her prying.
How do you deal with people who make demands on you and when you ask for a favor in return (same issue), they accuse you of being overly sensitive, rudely claiming you have a disability, etc.? I asked this woman many times to try to reduce noise after 11pm but she continued to talk on the phone, bang drawers, take showers with open doors, in short, be loud and obnoxious until 1-2am. Then today, out of the blue, when I returned from work and was about to have dinner, she asked me when I planned to go to bed. I replied, umm, I'm eating dinner now.... later on she yelled from upstairs (to me who was sitting in the kitchen) again, when am I going to bed? I replied soon. Then a third time, she was angry and then slammed her bedroom door when I was mid sentence. I yelled back upstairs, why did she do that? how rude!!
Then she opened the door again and asked me what did I say? what do I want? LOL ... she knows I'm about to move out and her fake niceness (when she needed my help or when it was time to pay the rent) is gone. Then I told her: "I just wanted to hear your voice". She went to bed angry. Maybe this a good thing and she won't try to convince me stay much longer.
I sense the end (of our relationship) is near. Just need some of CD's advice on how to drive the final nail into the coffin.
It’s not like you have a lease. Just leave already.
She wants 2 weeks rent before I leave though. Or if I leave immediately (on my next day off), she still wants compensation. I disagree. Unfortunately I stayed past my check out time the other day so she had the upper hand. She used to accept 1 week booking, but now suddenly she wants 2-4 weeks minimum? How can it take her 2 weeks to clean up her place and prepare the room for the next guest/tenant? She's playing the victim now and I need help in escaping her grip relatively unscathed.
Good golly, $15,000?! For an Airbnb room!? And that's not including the fees that went to Airbnb, just her payment? For that much money, you could have rented an entire one bedroom apartment and not deal with any roommate/landlord/secret crush drama.
And that is all I'll say on that considering you were told by a mod in your last thread to stop creating threads on this topic. MOVE on already!
Does not Airbnb have rules? Can you threaten to complain to them? Do you think maybe once you are at the new bnb that you should consider finding an apt? Even a studio would be better than sharing a place, IMHO.
Does not Airbnb have rules? Can you threaten to complain to them? Do you think maybe once you are at the new bnb that you should consider finding an apt? Even a studio would be better than sharing a place, IMHO.
The OP has been there for over a year. In some places, after 30 days you are considered a tenant, even if you did not sign a lease. This might be the issue the OP is now running into, wanting to leave without any notice when the state/city he lives in requires 30-60 notice. The landlord might be letting him off easy by only requiring he give her 2 weeks notice. Airbnb can't do anything about local laws.
Even if there are no tenancy laws where the OP lives, the Airbnb host is allowed to decide on the minimum stay required for booking their place. Most have it at 3-5 days, but there isn't anything stopping someone for setting the minimum to 14+ days. If the OP doesn't want to book another 2 weeks, then his only option would be to move out before his current stay has ended.
Good golly, $15,000?! For an Airbnb room!? And that's not including the fees that went to Airbnb, just her payment? For that much money, you could have rented an entire one bedroom apartment and not deal with any roommate/landlord/secret crush drama.
And that is all I'll say on that considering you were told by a mod in your last thread to stop creating threads on this topic. MOVE on already!
You sound like a broken record. Why do you keep bringing up the same arguments you already posted before?
I also don't need your advice to rent a 1 bedroom and second, you have no idea how much they cost, third, I don't want to be locked into a 1 year lease, fourth, can you get back on topic, fifth, you're not the boss of me, sixth, you're not a mod, seventh, stop trying to police the forum. Thank you.
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