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Old 02-16-2019, 09:46 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,617,363 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
Why?

Just sounds to me that she does not want to be close buddies with you. I don't think you are a threat. Not everyone wants to be friends with everyone.

Jason should not be venting to you about his girlfriend.

Yep that may be the crux of the problem. I’m not sure why she is “supposed to be close” with Jason’s significant other either? And I totally agree Jason should not be venting and complaining about his girlfriend with the op ever.
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Old 02-16-2019, 10:12 AM
 
Location: British Columbia ♥ 🍁 ♥
7,102 posts, read 6,510,376 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearljam93
... because that's his woman, so I should be close to her.

Why?

Just sounds to me that she does not want to be close buddies with you. I don't think you are a threat. Not everyone wants to be friends with everyone.

Jason should not be venting to you about his girlfriend.

This is what I want to know too. OP - Why do you think you should be close to her? Clearly you don't realize it but that makes you sound like a stalker. "Because that's his woman" makes no sense, it's not a valid reason for you to try to become best buddies with a total stranger that you had never met before you went to their house.

I agree with posters above, Jason should not be venting to you about his wife and you should not be encouraging it. All that will do is turn you into a wedge that will come between them. You trying so hard to become all buddy-buddy with his wife already makes it sound as though you are trying to become a wedge between them. That may not be the case but that is still what other people are going to think, including Jason's wife.


.
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Old 02-16-2019, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,695 posts, read 41,411,184 times
Reputation: 82053
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
Why?

Just sounds to me that she does not want to be close buddies with you. I don't think you are a threat. Not everyone wants to be friends with everyone.

Jason should not be venting to you about his girlfriend.
Yep.

“I should be close to her”??
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Old 02-16-2019, 12:16 PM
 
11,210 posts, read 8,353,233 times
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The same way you'd want to be close to your siblings spouse. At least be kind to, do nice things for and maintain a friendship with.
OP you know when you toss something up here everyone's going to take a shot at it. Of course judgemental because armchair quarterbacking is what we do. Don't sweat it. If Jason values your friendship you'll probably outlast this one, too. Or she will come to regard you as a sister. Might start referring to her as one. Send her a note of appreciation that she's considered Sister. (Maybe she's not as nice as you)
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Old 02-16-2019, 12:31 PM
 
1,147 posts, read 334,944 times
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It is what it is. It doesn't really matter why. It doesn't matter if she felt threatened or just didn't like you in real life. Maybe she found you overbearing or hyper, or perhaps you reminded her of her cousin that she can't stand. Not everyone is going to like you. Stop dwelling on it.
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Old 02-16-2019, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
12,299 posts, read 4,149,872 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pearljam93 View Post
Hey! So it is kinda odd to me this situation. I've been friends with this guy (Jason) platonically for 4 years. He has been on and off with this woman he had a child with, and they finally made it official to be with each other. I only knew about her through messages, so I friend requested her, and we started talking. My friend was always saying that me and her are alike. I felt that. She was really sweet, really nice, and opened up to me alot. We both were super excited meeting each other for the first time, and meeting up with my old guy friend whom I haven't seen in a long time as well. She also said she missed homecooked italian food since her mom passed away. And always loved her Lasagna.

So, my first visit I made homemade lasagna for her and meatballs and homemade garlic bread (I'm italian) lol. So, she seemed happy. We laughed alot and had a really good time! Everything was good according to me! Then after that hangout we had she has been silent with me. And my guy friend too. They don't converse with me anymore, and they aren't "liking" or commenting on my Facebook like they were. They just respond to me when I say "Hope you have a great day!" But they aren't initiating conversation like before. I don't know how to go about this and their weird behavior? Because me and his girlfriend really connected and I was very kind towards her, she was as well to me. So, I thought it was all good vibes. She even said she was happy that Jason is happy to have a woman friend like me who won't over step boundaries. She said she had alot of issues with that and I understood. Because Jason has ALOT of woman friends. But I'm a womans woman and I even told her that. I've never been inappropriate with Jason and Jason never was with me either. My one friend thinks she might have been jealous of me. Because I get really dolled up and dressed up all the time, but if we were laughing and having a good time, then there shouldn't be a problem? And she was like begging to see me and to hang with me, and now it's like I'm pretty non existent to them. I don't know how to take this? I tried to be nice and make them a homemade dinner, and we all had fun! I am so mind boggled. I don't know how to approach it either. Thank you for reading.
You must have slopped spaghetti sauce on their carpet
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Old 02-16-2019, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
9,019 posts, read 2,945,374 times
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This woman knows Jason and his proclivity for getting it on with numerous women, as you described. So even though she got along well with you, you're still a threat in her eyes, to their relationship. And since a child is involved, it would be more tragic to lose him, than just any other boyfriend. it doesn't matter if you're no longer interested in him romantically. It's only what she's thinking and fearing, that counts with her.
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Old 02-16-2019, 11:34 PM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
1,906 posts, read 664,076 times
Reputation: 3955
When people couple up they usually hang out with each other. This make you now a 'third wheel' in the dynamic.

Your friend is not only someone's love interest, but he is also the baby mama's kid's daddy. He has a lot to focus on there.


I'm not saying not to be their friends anymore, but see the reality of the situation, and put other people into your life to fill their void. Like it or not, the dynamic between you and your guy friend has changed. You really have no choice but to accept that. Things will not be the way they were before. Its not a sad situation, it's just different.
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Old 02-17-2019, 12:07 AM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,004 posts, read 22,741,002 times
Reputation: 34905
When I've been basically ghosted by someone, and I initiate the communications, and they just respond when I send them a text - I'm starting a new experiment. What if I just stop sending them any messages?

Well, so far, I don't get any messages unless they want a favor from me. Hmmm.

So, not a real friendship, after all.

My guess is she lied to the man friend saying you said something awful, which made him wonder. And, he is putting his loyalty where he gets his sexual gratification. In other words, if he's getting lucky with Miss Thing, he's not likely to question whatever she's saying, even if he, at least in the back of his mind, figures isn't really true.

He'd rather put up with her lies, and keep her happy, so he gets the benefits that go along with that - than be loyal to any friendship with you.

Right now, anyway, you are expendable.

You can expect him to come crying to you when this relationship ends, though, so be ready to show him the door. And seriously - when he does show up - show him the door! Don't let him cry on your shoulder, eat all of your food, just until he finds another girl who will do the same thing to you.
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Old 02-17-2019, 01:09 AM
 
13,735 posts, read 7,281,857 times
Reputation: 25144
This is totally normal. The OP doesn’t understand guy wiring. It may be suppressed but Jason is genetically wired to want to nail the OP no matter how much he claims otherwise. The girlfriend knows that. With Jason as both baby daddy and boyfriend, the OP is a big threat.
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