U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-16-2019, 05:57 PM
 
7 posts, read 2,794 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

So I was dating someone and I introduced her to my roomie who is also a girl. They aren't really friends per se, more due to association with me. My ex and my roomie started to talk each other more since my ex was feeling down and was reaching out to her. Me and my gf were hitting a rough patch and we broke up. Sometimes I would vent to my roomie during the relationship and say certain things out of frustration. I told my roomie that anything said in this household stays here which we agreed. Well my ex gf was thinking about getting back together and my roomie told her something I said out of venting one day that got my ex upset and any thoughts of getting back together was gone. My roomie reasoning was if I was thinking about getting back together with someone I would want to know what was said about me. The word I said wasn't terrible but out of frustration one day I said man my gf can be a "****" sometimes. My roomie also plays both sides since we both talk to her and she practically influences or voices her opinions to both sides saying you guys aren't right for each other, you guys aren't compatible etc... I vent to my roomie cause she is my roomie and my ex reaches out to her because my ex needs someone to talk to. They weren't really friends before the break up.

I talked about the situation to My guy friend and he has a point and said that I should be upset with my roomie. He says naturally people will voice opinions about your relationship and have certain feelings and that is okay, but to actively try to sabotage a relationship is not her place. Me and my ex should be the ones to determine if we are right for each other or not, not an outside party. Does he have a point? I am thinking about confronting my roomie in regards to future relationships that what she did was wrong. She mentioned that she felt bad about being one of the reasons why we aren't together but then she said not really because we weren't compatible. Sometimes I just shut down especially feeling emotionally damaged so when she said that I wasn't upset or anything just numb.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,639 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81963
Quote:
Originally Posted by shouldibepissed12 View Post
So I was dating someone and I introduced her to my roomie who is also a girl. They aren't really friends per se, more due to association with me. My ex and my roomie started to talk each other more since my ex was feeling down and was reaching out to her. Me and my gf were hitting a rough patch and we broke up. Sometimes I would vent to my roomie during the relationship and say certain things out of frustration. I told my roomie that anything said in this household stays here which we agreed. Well my ex gf was thinking about getting back together and my roomie told her something I said out of venting one day that got my ex upset and any thoughts of getting back together was gone. My roomie reasoning was if I was thinking about getting back together with someone I would want to know what was said about me. The word I said wasn't terrible but out of frustration one day I said man my gf can be a "****" sometimes. My roomie also plays both sides since we both talk to her and she practically influences or voices her opinions to both sides saying you guys aren't right for each other, you guys aren't compatible etc... I vent to my roomie cause she is my roomie and my ex reaches out to her because my ex needs someone to talk to. They weren't really friends before the break up.

I talked about the situation to My guy friend and he has a point and said that I should be upset with my roomie. He says naturally people will voice opinions about your relationship and have certain feelings and that is okay, but to actively try to sabotage a relationship is not her place. Me and my ex should be the ones to determine if we are right for each other or not, not an outside party. Does he have a point? I am thinking about confronting my roomie in regards to future relationships that what she did was wrong. She mentioned that she felt bad about being one of the reasons why we aren't together but then she said not really because we weren't compatible. Sometimes I just shut down especially feeling emotionally damaged so when she said that I wasn't upset or anything just numb.
Well, there's a snake in here somewhere.

And yes, you should at least be wary about your roommate. And no, you shouldn't be dating if you shut down emotionally and cannot speak openly with people you're close to.

Also, can we please just agree that grownups should use the word "roommate"?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:29 PM
 
7 posts, read 2,794 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Well, there's a snake in here somewhere.

And yes, you should at least be wary about your roommate. And no, you shouldn't be dating if you shut down emotionally and cannot speak openly with people you're close to.

Also, can we please just agree that grownups should use the word "roommate"?
she is a snake for sure. I just think it is messed up how we made an agreement not to talk about anything said in here to anyone else and then she tells my ex and essentially sabotages our relationship. Sometimes I vent and the fact that she is my roomie makes it more vulnerable for me because she is right there when I am feeling down.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,639 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81963
Quote:
Originally Posted by shouldibepissed12 View Post
she is a snake for sure. I just think it is messed up how we made an agreement not to talk about anything said in here to anyone else and then she tells my ex and essentially sabotages our relationship. Sometimes I vent and the fact that she is my roomie makes it more vulnerable for me because she is right there when I am feeling down.
Are you male?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:36 PM
 
7 posts, read 2,794 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Are you male?
yes i am a male
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,639 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81963
You need to stop venting to your roommate.

She may have personal reasons for sabotaging your relationship.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:39 PM
 
7 posts, read 2,794 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You need to stop venting to your roommate.

She may have personal reasons for sabotaging your relationship.
yeah i learned that now, but it is too late
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,639 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81963
Quote:
Originally Posted by shouldibepissed12 View Post
yeah i learned that now, but it is too late
So does your "roomie" have a crush on you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:42 PM
 
7 posts, read 2,794 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
So does your "roomie" have a crush on you?
i literally have no idea
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2019, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,639 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81963
Quote:
Originally Posted by shouldibepissed12 View Post
i literally have no idea
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:29 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top