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Old 02-17-2019, 02:37 PM
 
9,267 posts, read 6,193,998 times
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Great answers above.

If your husband wants to send something. Send a donation in his client's memory to a charity of client's, our your husband's, choosing, instead of flowers
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Old 02-17-2019, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Orlando
1,957 posts, read 2,611,005 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Wear black as you would for another funeral. They will distribute yarmulkes - (skull caps) to the men, for the prayer time. All women wear head coverings - Jewish or not.
Customs vary widely from one place to another, and from one congregation to another.

People don't always wear black to funerals any more. And I, as a Jewish woman, have never worn a head covering at a funeral, nor do most of the women I know.
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Old 02-17-2019, 04:50 PM
 
8,129 posts, read 11,857,695 times
Reputation: 17666
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Unexpected death - heart attack

Business client of husband

Husband wants to be respectful but does not wish to go back to their home after if asked

We are not Jewish.

What is the proper etiquette?

Family not flush with money either - his wife is devastated as she was out of town for another funeral and was not home when he had the attack.
What in God's name does that have to do with your question about proper etiquette and whether you should pay a condolence call at the widow's home?
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Old 02-17-2019, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Mount Pleasant, SC
1,918 posts, read 2,455,220 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
What in God's name does that have to do with your question about proper etiquette and whether you should pay a condolence call at the widow's home?
Growing up in my lower middle class town, I remember people giving money to the families of the deceased at wakes. l didn't get it. As a kid, I thought it was a gift, like birthday money. It seemed strange.
I aged into my white collar professional social circles and didn't see this "custom" again.
Then my 21 year old nephew died unexpectantly. My widowed sister was grateful for the cash gifts she received from family & friends -- they greatly helped her pay for burial costs as there was no life insurance. You could say she wasn't "flush" with money either.
So perhaps this was why the OP included that info.

Last edited by joyeaux; 02-17-2019 at 08:59 PM..
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Old 02-17-2019, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,137 posts, read 8,660,626 times
Reputation: 6108
Default See below

Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
What in God's name does that have to do with your question about proper etiquette and whether you should pay a condolence call at the widow's home?
Just meaning family was not prepared for his passing and they were not prepared (financially).

Over 200 were at the very short service.

We will see her on another day as so many were going back to her apartment home. She will need people after things calm down.

The etiquette question was more about the service. We had time constraints due to prescheduled appointments which could not be rescheduled due to clients needing to come in today.

(We do schedule appointments for weekends since people work during the week and need an option).

No ill will was meant.
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Old 02-17-2019, 11:34 PM
 
6,621 posts, read 3,810,250 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joyeaux View Post
Growing up in my lower middle class town, I remember people giving money to the families of the deceased at wakes. l didn't get it. As a kid, I thought it was a gift, like birthday money. It seemed strange.
I aged into my white collar professional social circles and didn't see this "custom" again.
Then my 21 year old nephew died unexpectantly. My widowed sister was grateful for the cash gifts she received from family & friends -- they greatly helped her pay for burial costs as there was no life insurance. You could say she wasn't "flush" with money either.
So perhaps this was why the OP included that info.

I agree. I remember the same when growing up.
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Old 02-18-2019, 01:28 AM
 
Location: Warren, OH
2,748 posts, read 3,323,635 times
Reputation: 6467
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellShoneMoon View Post
Customs vary widely from one place to another, and from one congregation to another.

People don't always wear black to funerals any more. And I, as a Jewish woman, have never worn a head covering at a funeral, nor do most of the women I know.
You live in Orlando. Maybe that's why black isn't the default color. In my Reform family, women also wear head coverings. Northeast and upper Midwest.

Things could be different in the south, although a service I attended for an aunt in Boca was the same.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Camberville
11,982 posts, read 16,709,418 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warren zee View Post
You live in Orlando. Maybe that's why black isn't the default color. In my Reform family, women also wear head coverings. Northeast and upper Midwest.

Things could be different in the south, although a service I attended for an aunt in Boca was the same.
I live in Boston and have been to many reform and conservative (the latter being my family) Jewish funerals. Head coverings for women would be completely foreign to me.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
1,679 posts, read 2,045,317 times
Reputation: 2121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Just meaning family was not prepared for his passing and they were not prepared (financially).

Over 200 were at the very short service.

We will see her on another day as so many were going back to her apartment home. She will need people after things calm down.

The etiquette question was more about the service. We had time constraints due to prescheduled appointments which could not be rescheduled due to clients needing to come in today.

(We do schedule appointments for weekends since people work during the week and need an option).

No ill will was meant.
I didnít take anything out of place in your question/comment. I understood your comment and found your entire post respectful.

Going to see her during shiva would be good, if you can.
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Old 02-18-2019, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,190 posts, read 6,074,910 times
Reputation: 11402
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
I live in Boston and have been to many reform and conservative (the latter being my family) Jewish funerals. Head coverings for women would be completely foreign to me.
Like many religious traditions, what's common in one branch or congregation often isn't common in another. And, some things that are attributed to a religion are actually more geographic/ethnic/cultural things. IE, baptism in Christianity; sometimes its done to infants, sometimes adults, sometimes full immersion, sometimes over a font or with a pitcher of water.
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