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Old 02-18-2019, 05:56 PM
 
335 posts, read 102,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I have a friend who's an extrovert. She's the kind of person who can make anyone a friend in 10 minutes. She's not shy at all, and has no problem talking to anyone.


She told me once that she always feels like introverts don't like her, and that she always feels like the bull in the china shop, and that she's always saying and doing the wrong thing.


Who knew? Extroverts struggle with self image as much as anyone else?
Nahh! I don't believe that. Extroverts I know practice very little self-examination. They are indeed just bulls in a China shop... (no offense to extroverts... but this seems true to me)I don't think most extroverts notice their effect on introverts, they just do their extrovert thing. Your friend is an extrovert rarity I'd say.



However, she's probably right. I get tired very quickly of extroverts sometimes. Sometimes I just wanna say "Can't you just chill the eff out?! Do you have to talk to EVERYone you encounter?!" LOL.

That said, I do have a couple of good extrovert friends.

But here's what I think is a good explanation of extroverts vs introverts:

"Extroverts' batteries are charged by being around other people;
Introverts' batteries are drained by being around other people."

That doesn't mean us introverts don't want to be around other people. We do. But not for long periods of times and not too often.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:04 PM
 
335 posts, read 102,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20 View Post
Not true, personality is not stagnant. It changes all the time. When I got married, I was not the same man I was when I was single.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...ur-personality

But in this thread we're talking about very deeply seated personality traits. Deeply seated personality traits like being a hard core introvert, (or another one would be having a habit of negative thinking) are VERY hard to change. Possible but almost impossible : very difficult.


As you wrote in your post: "These personality patterns are often extremely difficult to change but it typically depends on how motivated people are to try."


I say even if you are VERY motivated, in my experience, it's nearly impossible to change core behaviors and personalities and habits of thinking that originate in a person when they are around 8 years old.



The book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" points out that most people with depression or anxiety are set on that path when they are children. I know from my severely depressed friends that these negative thinking patterns are almost impossible to change, when they are severe, having originated when they were children.


Some positive changes can be made here and there but to change a deep seated personality trait is very very difficult even if one is motivated to do so.
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Old 02-18-2019, 07:24 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,496,882 times
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I was an introvert when I was young. Now I'm definitely an ambivert. Social anxiety, a childhood of emotional abuse and a learning disability kept me bottled up for a long time. I literally just spent a very content 3-day weekend with my dogs in my house, and I enjoyed it. However, I also enjoy time spent with friends and going out with them. I haven't seen my buddies in a while and I miss them.

See a therapist to get to the root of your introversion. Look into treating your social anxiety. And then fake it til you make it. THe whole thing about anxiety-driven introversion is that you need to get over yourself. Accept that you are not necessarily the most awkward person in the room and take an interest in other people. Introduce yourself if you don't know anyone else. Ask them questions. You have to put yourself out there, make yourself a little vulnerable. It's hard, but once you get the hang of it, you will tend to find it gets easier.

I just spent almost a week at an industry conference surrounded by thousands of people. I was exhausted afterwards, but I had a wonderful and productive time. 10 years ago, I could not imagine doing that.
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Old 02-19-2019, 05:08 AM
 
Location: Wilmington, NC
1,922 posts, read 340,539 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
See a therapist to get to the root of your introversion. Look into treating your social anxiety.
Absolutely nothing wrong with introversion. But social anxiety (one of the most common mental health issues around) can be very painful and life-limiting.

I suggest finding a competent therapist who has experience helping people with social anxiety. You can make a lot of progress by working on this with a good mental health professional.

Good luck!
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Old 02-19-2019, 06:27 AM
 
Location: Yakima WA
4,395 posts, read 4,584,613 times
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The most likely time someone can convert from introvert to extrovert is from childhood to teen. I thought of this obscure song from the early 1970s about a bashful boy and girl..in a few short years he becomes bold and she becomes brazen. I hope at least someone here enjoys it.

https://youtu.be/nrc97Gy48hs
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Old 02-20-2019, 08:31 PM
 
335 posts, read 102,380 times
Reputation: 727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay F View Post
The most likely time someone can convert from introvert to extrovert is from childhood to teen. I thought of this obscure song from the early 1970s about a bashful boy and girl..in a few short years he becomes bold and she becomes brazen. I hope at least someone here enjoys it.

https://youtu.be/nrc97Gy48hs
OR vice versa, one can become introverted as a young person based on how people treat them.
If a kid is bullied and rejected as a young person, he or she may be negatively affected by it, become more introverted and never change.


As I said, I'm an introvert, a pretty extreme one so I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. We are simply different than extroverts in many ways.



That said, I imagine many of us introverts wish we were extroverts. Extroverts seem to have more fun in life, and seem to do better in life, suffer less from shyness and awkwardness, constant self-examination etc.
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Old 02-20-2019, 10:46 PM
 
377 posts, read 224,025 times
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Be true to your nature or "know thyself"
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Old 02-21-2019, 12:35 PM
 
12,883 posts, read 15,360,866 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsgoingon4 View Post
I just want to be normal and want someone to think I am and acknowledge that I exist. But it rarely happens.

?
That, to me, is the saddest part of your post.

I'd say I was an introvert...and I don't think there's any changing that!
Best place to meet like minded people (if you're looking) is volunteering at shelters, or non profit second hand stores, or anything along that line....helping others.
Also sitting in a park or on a quiet beach....just getting out in nature...lots of other introverts out there.
That's usually a good place for introverts as they can choose to... or not to.. engage with others.

Introverts , (unless they're in a busy workplace)) should you seek one for a friend, are usually found in fairly quiet places...
Personally I don't believe there's any changing what you are, so you gotta work with that.
I could never be an extrovert...even if I tried...I think I'd be very unhappy just doing that.

Please believe me when I say ...You ARE normal!!
Helping an old person get to and from a store, or mowing their lawns, or volunteering at a shelter will give you LOADS of acknowlegement that you exist... even that you are needed.
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