Friends who always check people out/talk about sex... (person, attractive, insecure)

[frimpter928]

Do you think it's a self-esteem issue?

Let me explain. I have three best friends, who every time we go out, when they seem someone attractive they need to point out how hot his ass is, or what a nice rack she has, or how they would totally do that person. Don't get me wrong I am a very sexual person, and not afraid to check out what catches my eye. But these three friends of mine feel the need to always talk about the guy standing over there, or how hot a girl was, or the guy they just slept with last night.

I have noticed though, that the friends that love talking about this all the time and make it a point of discussion seem to be the ones with the lowest self-esteem and are insecure. My friends who seldom talk about other people's looks or dive into their sex life, are the ones that appear to me to be the most secure and content with themselves.

Correlation? Anyone else find this a common occurrence?

[Parnassia]

IMHO, people's perceptions of others is colored by their own way of thinking. They see everything through a colored lens, not always the way it is. Because a sexual "slant" is an integral part of your own thinking about other people, you are very quick to notice the same behavior in others. You are already "primed" to pick up on such comments, looks, or behaviors whether they intended something that way or not.

And, BTW, you select your friends, so I'd suspect you gravitate toward others who have the same interest you do. What you are noticing may have nothing to do with self confidence or insecurity at all.