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Old 02-23-2019, 08:01 AM
 
1,280 posts, read 429,834 times
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For two recent examples:

On Politico.com today, Donald Trump is quoted as saying that his language is "very nice". Even if you like him, it's tough to say that his language is "very nice".

Another poster on this board claims to be nice and personable, yet others assert that he's not.

So, in your experience:

If someone claims to be a nice person, is s/he ever actually a truly nice person?

Or is there an inverse relationship between how nice a person claims s/he is, compared to how s/he actually behaves?

In short, is it fair to say that the more someone claims to be nice, the more of a jerk s/he actually is? I think so.

Thoughts?
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Old 02-23-2019, 08:16 AM
 
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I don’t know that I agree only because it depends on the context of the statement and there are people who will say it and are genuine and those that claim it to deflect/gaslight. There is also the issue of subjectivity in regards to what nice means to someone

I’ve noticed that some people can’t handle a difference of opinion or boundaries from others and slam someone as not being nice.
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Old 02-23-2019, 08:51 AM
 
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It really just depends. Some people say it as a way of convincing others it's true when it's not, while some people will say, "I'm too nice" and it proves to be true when you see others walk all over them.

On the other hand, I've met a few people who said upfront, "I am not a nice person," and this always turned out to be truthful, I found.
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:49 AM
 
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My unverifiable guess is that most people think they’re nice, and some of them in fact are. I doubt there’s some kind of consistent relationship between the two, but I could be wrong.
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:54 AM
 
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I'm trying to picture someone saying they're "nice". I guess I know a lot of nice people and have never heard them state that about themselves, although other people will say it.

One thing I do know. Anyone who says "It takes a lot to make me angry, but when I get pushed too far, I get REALLY angry" are people with absolute hair trigger rage. It doesn't take much at ALL to get them into a full blown tantrum.

Also people who say "to make a long story short" have just told you a ridiculously long story.
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Old 02-23-2019, 11:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I'm trying to picture someone saying they're "nice". I guess I know a lot of nice people and have never heard them state that about themselves, although other people will say it.

One thing I do know. Anyone who says "It takes a lot to make me angry, but when I get pushed too far, I get REALLY angry" are people with absolute hair trigger rage. It doesn't take much at ALL to get them into a full blown tantrum.

Also people who say "to make a long story short" have just told you a ridiculously long story.

Actually it does take a lot to make me angry and I can count on one hand when I have been pushed and it's got me angry, otherwise I am pretty low key and don't sweat the small stuff or get in a tizzy.
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Old 02-23-2019, 11:34 AM
 
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Nice should not be the only descriptive word people use for themselves.
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
Actually it does take a lot to make me angry and I can count on one hand when I have been pushed and it's got me angry, otherwise I am pretty low key and don't sweat the small stuff or get in a tizzy.
Same. My cousins and old classmates joke about how I hardly ever get mad, but when I do it's freakin' terrifying. If they hear about me having a conflict with someone, they ask in mock horror "Did those fools meet 'feral Jrz'?"

But my boss has assigned me a client-facing role simply because I never lose my temper. When I actually do though, it's not pretty. Also, could could count the times it's happened on one hand.
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Old 02-23-2019, 01:09 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Who are these people, who go around saying they're nice? I've never known such a person. Excepting public figures, who may at times feel it necessary to make such a proclamation, do average people do this? I can't relate.
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Old 02-23-2019, 01:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Who are these people, who go around saying they're nice? I've never known such a person. Excepting public figures, who may at times feel it necessary to make such a proclamation, do average people do this? I can't relate.
I have rarely come across it except online when someone has declared it and even then it's within the context of a situation that they were treated horribly and they can't understand it because they are nice people.
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