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^^ That is a very good thing to consider! Thanks for putting that out there. Sometimes we have to accept or maybe just temporarily tolerate people we may not like very much if they are important to someone we do like very much or love. My family is having to do this right now, actually! So your post hit home with me.
Probably a good idea to stop and check whether we're giving folks the hatchet because they don't feed our "souls" or because they don't feed our egos.
The entire philosophy is about removing ego from the decisions, and not thinking about it at all. It’s very Zen, like meditation.... be in the moment with the object, see it, feel it, take note of feelings it brings up. Use that to decide if it’s worth keeping, not thought or logic. It’s the opposite of making decisions based on ego.
Her "method" of household organization is about changing the focus from "what do you want to throw out" to "what do you want to keep?", and she uses what feelings the object brings up to determine if it's important to keep. As an example, I have several things from my grandmother's house. I am planning on getting rid of a lot this spring. One item is a charcoal painting of my grandmother's mother and father. It has been in the house as long as I can remember. Another item is a plastic cup I took from her house, that I used to use all the time when I was a kid.
If I use the Marie Kondo method, I will feel nothing from looking at or holding the painting. When I hold the cup though and close my eyes and really "listen" to the feelings, I can see myself sitting in her sunny kitchen while she cooks, smell the hay outside. The cup sparks joy, while the painting does not. Using the Marie Kondo method, I would toss the painting and keep the cup. This does not mean I am going to be in some ecstatic state whenever I drink from the cup, and she never implies such a silly thing.
It was never meant for people, but really most seem to be making too much of it regardless and seem determined to mock it vs understand it. It's as good a method of deciding what to keep and what to toss as any other.
Yes, if something does not bring you joy then why is it in your life?
Because there is a more extensive criterion and broader scope of people who can be in one's life than just those who spark joy. Sparking joy is way too narrow.
Last edited by matisse12; 02-28-2019 at 04:08 PM..
Absolutely. There are people who are the destroyers of happiness wherever they go. Get them out of your life.
However, one enormous caveat. That does not give you license to abandon friends who are going through a rough patch in their lives. You have a duty to have the back of those in life who have had yours. Because friendship isn't just about fun, you know.
Exactly. No one is condoning getting rid of friends or family going through a hard time.
I think it's a good general principle, with limitations. Material goods or people.
Do I feel good or awful after spending time with them?
I'm curious about what these people "who are destroyers of happiness wherever they go" and who one should "get them out of your life" do that causes unhappiness or destroys happiness.
I'm curious about what these people "who are destroyers of happiness wherever they go" and who one should "get them out of your life" do that causes unhappiness or destroys happiness.
It’s probablt different in each person. I had an ex-bf who fit the description. He was angry at the world and every little thing set him off from a toddler in a restaurant to friends picking a restaurant where he doesn’t like the chairs, and he would have tantrums and ruin it for everyone. I spent my time walking on eggshells and trying to manage the environment so he wasn’t triggered. I stayed 3 years which was 2 years 9 months too long.
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So your post hit home with me. 
