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Old 02-28-2019, 10:25 AM
 
12,255 posts, read 13,483,007 times
Reputation: 14119

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I had a girl tell me she lost a very expensive and sentimental bracelet. She told me she would pay me $50 if I found it.

Guess what? I found it. I got a hug and nothing more.

It stays with you because she always made excuses I would get the money.

I never got the money.

I never said don’t worry about it either. I should have told her I found it and not given it to her till she coughed up the cash.

You never want to make empty promises.
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Old 02-28-2019, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
5,082 posts, read 5,349,148 times
Reputation: 12576
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim in FL View Post
No, because I wouldn’t want/need or accept his ‘offer’.
Right. Any decent person would not have a problem with OP offering half of what he received ($850). It sounds like OP's friend is a decent person.

Petsandgardens post #33 is spot on.
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Old 02-28-2019, 10:54 AM
 
1,511 posts, read 384,916 times
Reputation: 2811
Quote:
Originally Posted by petsandgardens View Post
First, don't make any offers or promises of anything again until a situation winds up and you know what's what.

So, tell the guy sorry it's not as much as I thought. I didn't realize all the deductions so I only got (and wait till you actually DO have it) such and such amount. So your half will be less than we thought..$425. At that point he may say, no thanks.
I think that's despicable. Some friend you are to weasel word things like that to make him feel uncomfortable about what you promised. No one twisted your arm to make the promise, no one asked you to make it and since it is completely found money there is no reason not to do what you promised. Just because the friend makes more money it has nothing to do with it. You are no friend I'd want.
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Old 02-28-2019, 02:46 PM
 
741 posts, read 388,488 times
Reputation: 3448
I find it interesting the majority opinion is that the OP should offer the money again even though it was flatly refused the first time. I would think the matter was settled at that point.

In the future, don’t make this kind of offer. You did your friend a solid by recommending him for the job. He got the job with a bonus of his own, so that was his gift. The bonus is your gift from the company for recommending a worthy hire. You shouldn’t feel guilty about keeping it.
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Old 02-28-2019, 06:11 PM
 
805 posts, read 220,708 times
Reputation: 2202
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
I had a girl tell me she lost a very expensive and sentimental bracelet. She told me she would pay me $50 if I found it.

Guess what? I found it. I got a hug and nothing more.

It stays with you because she always made excuses I would get the money.

I never got the money.

I never said don’t worry about it either. I should have told her I found it and not given it to her till she coughed up the cash.

You never want to make empty promises.
She should have paid what she promised, but you require payment to do the right thing and return something you find to its rightful owner?? There's no way I would let someone pay me if I found and returned something that belonged to them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by FairMindedLL View Post
I find it interesting the majority opinion is that the OP should offer the money again even though it was flatly refused the first time. I would think the matter was settled at that point.
Not really. He may have refused because he felt he should, not necessarily because he didn't want the money.
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Old 02-28-2019, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,042 posts, read 8,287,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim in FL View Post
Yes because half of a 2k bonus is still 1k. I doubt they discussed taxes.
So he gets a $2k bonus, nets $850 but should give the entire net bonus + $150 out of his pocket on top?

I'm with Minivan Driver on this one.
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Old 02-28-2019, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,004 posts, read 22,741,002 times
Reputation: 34905
I'd laugh and tell him that you got a $2,000 referral bonus that you just learned about, and after taxes, it only net you $850, ha ha ha, but here's a check for half, like you promised, for $425.

Consider it a learning experience regarding your friendship - will he take the money (even though he makes way more than you and was lucky to get the job at his age, etc.) or will he tell you to forget it. That will tell you a lot about him, in my opinion.

But, I do think you should offer it - but only half of what you actually netted.
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Old 02-28-2019, 07:00 PM
 
12,403 posts, read 7,454,846 times
Reputation: 23233
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairMindedLL View Post
I find it interesting the majority opinion is that the OP should offer the money again even though it was flatly refused the first time. I would think the matter was settled at that point.
I would too. It seems awkward to keep bringing it up after the friend has already refused the offer.
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Old 02-28-2019, 09:30 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,384 posts, read 14,226,100 times
Reputation: 22869
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
I would too. It seems awkward to keep bringing it up after the friend has already refused the offer.
OTOH the last word seems to have been that OP insisted that the guy take the money, and that's where it was left standing. So it's possible the guy may have actually taken that as the last word. Which is why I would simply remind him the offer still stands (if he wants it) without resorting to writing checks or whipping out a roll of cash. That way there's no question in anyone's mind that OP let the moment slide in order to keep all the money for himself.
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Old 03-01-2019, 01:39 AM
 
Location: Folsom
5,086 posts, read 7,686,584 times
Reputation: 3550
Be a man of integrity and keep your promise.
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