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Context: I have a friend that i've known for about 3 years. We're both business professionals, go to the gym together a couple of times a week, and although he's about 15 years older than me, we have a compatible relationship through mutual interests (cars, politics, etc.). Both him and I were laid off from two different companies in January 2018, and i found a job with a great company in March, while he continued his search...
After a few months, i referred him to a higher up at my large company and long story short, he got an interview, and then another and then 6 months later (yeah, not a typo...it's a great company but slow at hiring) it came the moment of truth....and he was going to find out soon whether it was a yes or a no.
one day close to that time frame, i found out that i'd be getting a 2k bonus for the referral (had no idea before)...so i told him that i'd give him half....just because. he said no, then i insisted, and then we stopped talking about it.
then came the offer and the acceptance. he got a salary that's probably 30-50k more than mine (and he deserves it because he's more senior and capable), and a nice bonus along with it. (between 5 and 10k).
So now, i finally received the "2k", which after taxes and deductions they took out is like 850 bucks...lol...
I think the right thing to do is to still give him half....but a part of me (greedy part?) is wanting not to do that.
What would you do considering where i am now? (not what i 'should have or have not done'....)
thank you
I hope he says no again. He got his own bonus, he doesn't need yours. Nest time don't offer to split it.
Ok, you made the offer to him to split it and he DECLINED it . Keep the bonus with no regret.
It would be different if you offered and he didn't say anything to decline it. In that situation you would still offer it and let him decide if he wanted it or not.
Also, I agree with Roselvr, next time don't offer to split it.
I had a girl tell me she lost a very expensive and sentimental bracelet. She told me she would pay me $50 if I found it.
Guess what? I found it. I got a hug and nothing more.
It stays with you because she always made excuses I would get the money.
I never got the money.
I never said don’t worry about it either. I should have told her I found it and not given it to her till she coughed up the cash.
You never want to make empty promises.
Although I wouldn't require payment to do the right thing in the first place, I think it wouldn't sit well with me to have an offer reneged on either. If she couldn't afford that amount of reward then she shouldn't have offered it. A simple explanation of how much the missing item means to you is an excellent motivator as well for most people.
lol Yeah....technically some of that went into my 401k, and other deductions... (they treat it like regular income). the ~850 is what i saw in my checking account....so i'm going with that....don't want to make things more complex than they need to be.
In the interests of continuing the discussion....should the 401k contribution be considered to be part of “net amount”? After all, the OP still has that money, i.e., he got $850 in the check and we’ll say $250 went in his 401k. Should he pay half of $850 or half of $1100?
Give it to him. Make it cash, and tie it up with a cute ribbon or something. Hand it to him, and tell him how pleased you are that it worked out for him.
If you're lucky, he won't take it. Then shrug wistfully, give him a big smile, and say, "Well, can we at least go out to be big celebratory dinner"?
Give it to him. Make it cash, and tie it up with a cute ribbon or something. Hand it to him, and tell him how pleased you are that it worked out for him.
If you're lucky, he won't take it. Then shrug wistfully, give him a big smile, and say, "Well, can we at least go out to be big celebratory dinner"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairMindedLL
It should be the other way around. The friend should take the OP out to dinner as thanks for getting him a well paying job with a bonus.
Thanks again everyone. I will absolutely be offering him the money. if he doesn't take it, great. if he takes it, that's fine too. i won't get rich or go broke with either decision.
So, now i'm wondering how to best do it.....should i:
A. give him a check tomorrow for the ~450 and sign it and say hey, here's your half of the amount that got to my checking account, as promised
B. 'tell him' tomorrow that i'll be giving him the money that i had promised, the next time i see him (which would be next week Monday), and see what he says....if he says no, then i'd drop it, and if he says ok, then i give him a check on monday
C. tell him he's not only NOT getting my half of the bonus, but I'm demanding half of his bonus check, as well as 3 years hard labor in my backyard from his first born son.
Choose wisely...
So what ended up happening? Did he take the money or not?
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