Have you ever gone to a funeral or wake where people didn't say the deceased was a wonderful person?

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by Zoisite

But I have been to a couple of funerals where everyone there knew the person was generally disliked by most of them and instead of anyone saying outright nasty things some people have made sarcastic or catty jokes with double meanings about the deceased or at the deceased's expense. Not really speaking ill of the dead but still making fun of them. But again, not in the presence of the deceased's loved ones who are grieving.

There was definitely some of that going on at my "Uncle's" (we weren't actually related) funeral. He was the kind of man you either loved or hated, but even those who hated him still generally respected him - because he wasn't a BAD man, just kind of a pompous arse. There were many tongue-in-cheek or snarky comments made at his funeral, but we all knew he would have laughed at them too. Even his son made one in the eulogy, which went something like "My father wasn't a religious man, and we all know he didn't believe in heaven or anything; but I'd like to think he's up there now, looking down at us and going 'S***, I finally lost an argument!'"

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by Forever Blue

I know people are saying you don't go to the funeral for the person who died, you go for their loved ones who were (probably) nicer. Yea, well, whether the friends & loved ones were nice or not, it's irrelevant because it's ALL about the one who IS DECEASED. If they were bad, why would I care about the bad person's friends & relatives?

So you mean to tell me, you guys are going to get all dressed up, drive over there, take valuable time out of your day, pay respects, etc. for some b!#ch OR b@$t@rd who didn't give a $#!t about YOU? OK, if that's what you want.

I guess it's because I've personally never been friends w/ relatives & friends of whoever my friend was. I barely had friends as it is...much less was friends w/ THEIR friends & relatives.

It's not necessarily that you had any relationship with the deceased (by proxy), but more that you're supporting the friend who lost someone. I attended the funeral of my best friend's grandfather, not because I was particularly close to him or anything... it was to show my support for her and her family, and to be her "rock" since the rest of her family can be challenging to say the least. So I did it for HER, not for the man who passed away.

I suppose if you haven't had many/any close friends, it could be hard to understand that. I don't have a ton of friends, but I'm very close to the ones I do have - and I've been friends with this one for over 35 years, so we're more like family at this point.

[nobodysbusiness]

I think when people pass away, even if they were nightmares in life, you TRY to think of the good things about them. I know I do.

[mainebrokerman]

I want a motion detector voice message....at my wake(if open casket) whispering in my own voice "hellllooooo" "I can see you"

[elyn02]

I don't think I have ever attended a funeral where the person was not generally respected. I thought the family of these people would quietly lay their relative to rest.

[jmcahacker]

Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.

You aren't necessarily going for Jack but you're going because you like Rose and despite what you think about Jack, Rose just had her life ripped apart. If that's good or bad, that's for Rose to decide but she still has a hard few days to get through and could probably use some friendly faces. That's not being guilt-ed by conventions, that's being a decent person to Rose, the one you do like.