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Old 03-02-2019, 06:16 AM
 
564 posts, read 152,346 times
Reputation: 1388

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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
You thinking you should contact this person's employer or place of employment makes you sound mentally disturbed, emotionally disturbed, emotionally immature, and have very poor judgment.

Not sure why several people (or more) are saying you "dodged a bullet with not having this person or other family members as your in-law relatives" when it is you who sounds mentally disturbed with poor judgment.

And you asking if 'public shaming' is something you should do to this person is more evidence of your mental disturbance, radically poor judgment, and lack of emotional maturity.
On CD we have no way of knowing what type of person we are replying to.
You may be right or you could be wrong in your observation: but it is irrelevant.
Someone asks for an advice and people make suggestions( none of the comments suggest contacting employer- it is a clue to an original poster).
No need to come and put down this person, who is obviously in distress.
Say something helpful, or just roll your eyes in the comfort of your home...
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Old 03-02-2019, 06:58 AM
 
2,935 posts, read 1,527,862 times
Reputation: 3105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nik4me View Post
On CD we have no way of knowing what type of person we are replying to.
You may be right or you could be wrong in your observation: but it is irrelevant.
Someone asks for an advice and people make suggestions( none of the comments suggest contacting employer- it is a clue to an original poster).
No need to come and put down this person, who is obviously in distress.
Say something helpful, or just roll your eyes in the comfort of your home...
I agree. Sometimes people think they need to do *something* especially when they are emotional. They just need to be given direct advice to not do anything at all.
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Old 03-02-2019, 03:10 PM
 
5,342 posts, read 3,385,549 times
Reputation: 13406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nik4me View Post

On CD we have no way of knowing what type of person we are replying to.
You may be right or you could be wrong in your observation: but it is irrelevant.
Someone asks for an advice and people make suggestions( none of the comments suggest contacting employer- it is a clue to an original poster).
No need to come and put down this person, who is obviously in distress.
Say something helpful, or just roll your eyes in the comfort of your home...
Anyone who would even have in their mind, suggest as a retaliatory move or think a possible solution is contacting someone's employer or place of employment, along with 'public shaming' them is not playing with a full deck, has almost a criminal mindset, is not mentally balanced, and has very poor judgment.

An emotionally mature person with mental and emotional stability would never suggest contacting a person's employer nor public shaming a person as solutions or retaliations. Contacting someone's employer or place of employment is so far-fetched and ridiculous that you immediately know someone is not playing with a full deck.

I think it's very shocking and ridiculous. And I cannot believe how so many people in the thread treated as if contacting an employer or place of employment in retaliation and as a possible move and also public shaming as normal thoughts and not indicative of behavior and intentions that can be termed in many negative ways.

For people reading the thread, it should be made clear that contacting someone's employer or place of employment and also 'public shaming' are not normal intentions.

Last edited by matisse12; 03-02-2019 at 03:20 PM..
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Old 03-02-2019, 04:53 PM
 
970 posts, read 334,657 times
Reputation: 3035
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Anyone who would even have in their mind, suggest as a retaliatory move or think a possible solution is contacting someone's employer or place of employment, along with 'public shaming' them is not playing with a full deck, has almost a criminal mindset, is not mentally balanced, and has very poor judgment.

An emotionally mature person with mental and emotional stability would never suggest contacting a person's employer nor public shaming a person as solutions or retaliations. Contacting someone's employer or place of employment is so far-fetched and ridiculous that you immediately know someone is not playing with a full deck.

I think it's very shocking and ridiculous. And I cannot believe how so many people in the thread treated as if contacting an employer or place of employment in retaliation and as a possible move and also public shaming as normal thoughts and not indicative of behavior and intentions that can be termed in many negative ways.

For people reading the thread, it should be made clear that contacting someone's employer or place of employment and also 'public shaming' are not normal intentions.
Yes. It is best to let people stew in their own misery and not engage them. Never argue with a fool - they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I have always told my daughter: You cannot justify your behavior based on someone else's behavior. It is called character. How you react to difficult situations defines who you are. As people mature, they start to understand the importance of taking the high road and not seeking revenge.
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Old 03-02-2019, 05:20 PM
 
Location: California
30,513 posts, read 33,335,622 times
Reputation: 25987
Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Am_Legend View Post
Hey guys,

Wonít go into specifics on what was said to me on the message I received. My ex fiancť Decided she wanted to cancel our wedding instead of postponing it and sheís been slandering my name to make it look like I was the bad person here that caused all of this. I didnít expect such a distasteful and inhumane message from my ex-sister in law which looked like a whole book she wrote to me full of bitterness and resentment. I was the bigger person and didnít respond to her filth because I knew that was the best thing to do. Is there anything I can do here? She really disrespected me and wrote a whole bunch of crap and lies to make me look Iím the pos here. Showed their mother this and she said thatís between us smh. Should I really leave this alone? Would public shaming or notifiying her employer be too much?
Why does ANYONE'S mind go to "notify the employer" over kind of stuff? WTF do you think they give a frick about a family fight?
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Old 03-03-2019, 08:45 AM
 
Location: USA
3,569 posts, read 846,240 times
Reputation: 4166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Why does ANYONE'S mind go to "notify the employer" over kind of stuff? WTF do you think they give a frick about a family fight?
The purpose is to embarrass the other person. I know of a situation where someone contacted exe's boss and co-workers and also a neighbor. The person was prosecuted. As I mentioned it's harassment and menacing.
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Old 03-03-2019, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Norfolk, VA
6,292 posts, read 5,935,252 times
Reputation: 3492
Never take the bait on social media. It isn't anyone's business but between you and that other person.
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Old 03-03-2019, 09:03 AM
Status: "My privilege looks good on me." (set 5 days ago)
 
775 posts, read 167,997 times
Reputation: 1153
Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Am_Legend View Post
Hey guys,

Won’t go into specifics on what was said to me on the message I received. My ex fiancť Decided she wanted to cancel our wedding instead of postponing it and she’s been slandering my name to make it look like I was the bad person here that caused all of this. I didn’t expect such a distasteful and inhumane message from my ex-sister in law which looked like a whole book she wrote to me full of bitterness and resentment. I was the bigger person and didn’t respond to her filth because I knew that was the best thing to do. Is there anything I can do here? She really disrespected me and wrote a whole bunch of crap and lies to make me look I’m the pos here. Showed their mother this and she said that’s between us smh. Should I really leave this alone? Would public shaming or notifiying her employer be too much?
I've responded to people like this in the past with "I do not care." then blocked them and never engaged them again. I know for a fact they didn't much care for my approach.
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Old 03-03-2019, 09:14 AM
 
16,801 posts, read 14,444,532 times
Reputation: 37859
OP's overreaction to a hit on his ego may offer clues as to the demise of the relationship and the reaction of the ex's family.
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Old 03-03-2019, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,359 posts, read 35,864,624 times
Reputation: 62714
I think you should do this:

https://youtu.be/SrDSqODtEFM
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