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Old 03-07-2019, 02:49 PM
 
810 posts, read 193,038 times
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it's occurred to me that some strangers can confuse "personal" with "intimate"...and ask questions that would require a much longer acquaintance right away. so the initial 'getting to know you' stage can be used as an "open door" to "hey, why (rude private topic)?" and then the other person will be told *they* are "rude" for not complying with the idea of "instant intimacy". that's one thing that has often baffled me about living in this culture.
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Old 03-07-2019, 04:12 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,540 posts, read 3,660,304 times
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Originally Posted by prospectheightsresident View Post
I don't mind the idea of conversing with strangers, but, given that such is a rarity where I have lived, I always question the motives of strangers who try to chat it up with me out of nowhere.
They are probably just lonely or trying to pass the time. That's about it.
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Old 03-08-2019, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Louisiana and Pennsylvania
2,756 posts, read 5,323,779 times
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Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
It's not just a matter of intelligence or skill. It's a personality trait. Wouldn't you find it absurd to say that maybe we should give lessons to extroverts on how to be less gregarious?There is a difference between can't and don't want to or like to. I am always 'on' when I'm at work, forty or fifty hours a week dealing with the public. Many of them are lonely and seemingly rely on us for their social contact, spending hours each week just chatting up various employees. I have one customer right now that spends roughly four hours each DAY following me and my coworker around and chatting at every opportunity.
Can I do it? Yes, I spend a lot of time at it. Do I like doing it? No, not really but it's an expectation of the job. Do I want to be chatted up by random strangers after having to spend that much time being sociable at work? Definitely not, I'm all chatted out and just want to be alone with my own thoughts. Not to mention that people who want to chat rarely strike a topic that holds much interest for me, mostly it's stories involving their family dynamics or their health, occasionally somebody hellbent on trying to impress with stories of how important or popular they are, yawn.
Perfect
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Old 03-08-2019, 12:32 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,644,363 times
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Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
It's not just a matter of intelligence or skill. It's a personality trait. Wouldn't you find it absurd to say that maybe we should give lessons to extroverts on how to be less gregarious?There is a difference between can't and don't want to or like to. I am always 'on' when I'm at work, forty or fifty hours a week dealing with the public. Many of them are lonely and seemingly rely on us for their social contact, spending hours each week just chatting up various employees. I have one customer right now that spends roughly four hours each DAY following me and my coworker around and chatting at every opportunity.
Can I do it? Yes, I spend a lot of time at it. Do I like doing it? No, not really but it's an expectation of the job. Do I want to be chatted up by random strangers after having to spend that much time being sociable at work? Definitely not, I'm all chatted out and just want to be alone with my own thoughts. Not to mention that people who want to chat rarely strike a topic that holds much interest for me, mostly it's stories involving their family dynamics or their health, occasionally somebody hellbent on trying to impress with stories of how important or popular they are, yawn.


It seems extremely judgemental for anyone to criticize others for not enjoying the same activities. We all have different needs and wants , and it can change depending on age/gender/culture/location. I used to chat with strangers all the time a few years ago but thatís because I was out and about in a very active area town. Nowadays no because we Live in a suburb and when we go out hiking the last thing I want to do is talk with strangers on a trail, or in a mall or an art museum, or at the playground with the grandchildren. On a plane it is my quiet time. In a coffee shop or cafe Iím enjoying my time with my husband.

Generally though in all the years Iíve travelled and lived in different countries,cities and states itís very rare to come across truly interesting stories. Like you said ,and this is just my experience , the vast majority are doing just as you say .
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Old 03-08-2019, 02:41 PM
 
10,171 posts, read 7,083,524 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post


It seems extremely judgemental for anyone to criticize others for not enjoying the same activities. We all have different needs and wants , and it can change depending on age/gender/culture/location. I used to chat with strangers all the time a few years ago but thatís because I was out and about in a very active area town. Nowadays no because we Live in a suburb and when we go out hiking the last thing I want to do is talk with strangers on a trail, or in a mall or an art museum, or at the playground with the grandchildren. On a plane it is my quiet time. In a coffee shop or cafe Iím enjoying my time with my husband.

Generally though in all the years Iíve travelled and lived in different countries,cities and states itís very rare to come across truly interesting stories. Like you said ,and this is just my experience , the vast majority are doing just as you say .
Oh my gosh...maybe I am easily entertained but I love to hear interesting stories (I have many myself) and about different cultures and sub cultures

I hope I didnt sound judgmental with this post. It wasn't intended. I was just curious
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Old 03-08-2019, 03:24 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,644,363 times
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Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Oh my gosh...maybe I am easily entertained but I love to hear interesting stories (I have many myself) and about different cultures and sub cultures

I hope I didnt sound judgmental with this post. It wasn't intended. I was just curious
What makes you think Iím not easily entertained ? I just donít need to rely on others to do it
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