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At the end of the day I just find it so unnecessary. What is the point? For both the date and the friends.
Maybe the best time for the meetup with the new date was Friday, but she already had plans with you. So she thought and talked to the new date... well, why not?... do you want to go bowling with some friends and me? Might be fun.
I just can't really comprehend why the addition of a new person into a casual social gathering is so perplexing for all of you to get through. It doesn't have to be weird at all, you're making it weird. What do you do? Well.. how about you start out by saying "Hello, nice to meet you." Go from there!
She is one of the most stubborn people on the planet. She did this once before, only last time it was at a party where there were about 40 people. So it was different then as it wasn't an intimate outing at all. But back then I told her the same thing. Why create the risk of making someone uncomfortable or creating a weird situation when there is no need to be?
So when she did that her date was completely confused as to what if it was a date or not. So at the party her date asked one of our friends that she wasn't sure if my friend and her were on a date. It was an akward moment. Some days after the party, my friend complained to me that she didn't appreciate that her date said that to one of our friends. But I told her how could she not? That of course she would be confused. My friend then seemed to understand, saying that she could understand how someone could be confused.
But alas, here we are again.
Your friend is selfish. She's not thinking about you, her date, or the other friends involved. She's only thinking about her own selfish wants and desires.
None of this is your fault. You should just try and go enjoy the outing for yourself, and leave her to her own devices. Don't make her bad decisions your problem any longer.
Maybe the best time for the meetup with the new date was Friday, but she already had plans with you. So she thought and talked to the new date... well, why not?... do you want to go bowling with some friends and me? Might be fun.
I just can't really comprehend why the addition of a new person into a casual social gathering is so perplexing for all of you to get through. It doesn't have to be weird at all, you're making it weird. What do you do? Well.. how about you start out by saying "Hello, nice to meet you." Go from there!
It's just not a new person, but a complete stranger, that a friend is trying to gauge romantic interest in. It's weird. Based on everyone's response here, it seems like you are the only one who doesn't see this as a negative. Everyone else seem to think it's bizarre.
She told me today she is planning on bringing her date (she's a lesbian to avoid confusion) to our outing on Friday. Okay, so I have no issue with this if this is someone she already met in person or had a date with. But the thing is she has never met her. Essentially their first date and the first time they meet will be at our dinner.?
That IS weird. That's not a good first date situation.
It's just not a new person, but a complete stranger, that a friend is trying to gauge romantic interest in. It's weird. Based on everyone's response here, it seems like you are the only one who doesn't see this as a negative. Everyone else seem to think it's bizarre.
It's not normal and in a way bit inconsiderate.
I can see that I'm in the minority here... I guess I just go with the flow and don't freak out easily about meeting a new person. It's just really not that big a deal for me to accept and be nice to a friend's date they decide to bring along.
Even if we can agree it's not a typical first date... why does it have to be a weird and hostile act? Why is your friend bringing someone bowling worth all this drama - for you?
I can see that I'm in the minority here... I guess I just go with the flow and don't freak out easily about meeting a new person. It's just really not that big a deal for me to accept and be nice to a friend's date they decide to bring along.
Even if we can agree it's not a typical first date... why does it have to be a weird and hostile act? Why is your friend bringing someone bowling worth all this drama - for you?
No one is saying hostile, I just don't think it's considerate. When you are introducing your friends to someone you are dating there is an effort on their part to get to know them and what not, because this is a person you like.
But this is not the case here. We are being forced to interact with someone who our friend doesn't even know. She doesn't even know if she likes her. So let's say the person is just a freaking weirdo and my friend doesn't like her. What do we do? Do we ask her to leave and stop bowling with us?
My point is why introduce such an unknown person to a group like that? What's the point? How can you gauge the chemistry you have with her when there are 5 other people you are also trying to get to know.
If you told me that this is a person she met and moved to the city recently and is looking to make new friends, nothing romantic. Then I feel that it is more acceptable. But this is a first date for her with my friend. It should be treated as situation for THEM to get to know each other not the group.
I agree with other posters who said that bringing this (first!) date along is selfish. You brought it up to her (I don't blame you for that), and she declined to change her plans. It's annoying and it sounds like this isn't too unusual for her. So, with that in mind, if all of y'all in the group care about her and want to spend time with her, I think this is behavior y'all might have to put up with. Maybe it'll go surprisingly well and everyone will hit it off with the date. If not, maybe she'll see that this isn't something she wants to repeat.
I can see that I'm in the minority here... I guess I just go with the flow and don't freak out easily about meeting a new person. It's just really not that big a deal for me to accept and be nice to a friend's date they decide to bring along.
Even if we can agree it's not a typical first date... why does it have to be a weird and hostile act? Why is your friend bringing someone bowling worth all this drama - for you?
Well, I think partly, it's because he KNOWS his friend likes drama and attention, and that his friend tends to date unstable people.
This is a situation where this new date is not going to know ANYONE. Not even her date. It has the potential to go rather badly, and Frimpster is familiar with past incidents where it's definitly gone badly. I can't blame him for being on his guard.
No one is saying hostile, I just don't think it's considerate. When you are introducing your friends to someone you are dating there is an effort on their part to get to know them and what not, because this is a person you like.
But this is not the case here. We are being forced to interact with someone who our friend doesn't even know. She doesn't even know if she likes her. So let's say the person is just a freaking weirdo and my friend doesn't like her. What do we do? Do we ask her to leave and stop bowling with us?
My point is why introduce such an unknown person to a group like that? What's the point? How can you gauge the chemistry you have with her when there are 5 other people you are also trying to get to know.
If you told me that this is a person she met and moved to the city recently and is looking to make new friends, nothing romantic. Then I feel that it is more acceptable. But this is a first date for her with my friend. It should be treated as situation for THEM to get to know each other not the group.
I realize that's the corner you have dug yourself into about this... I'm just saying it didn't need to be even half that weird, until you made it that way.
Are all your other friends coming solo (whether they have partners or not)? Are some coming as couples? It’s a tough call. Id want to hope that the blind date knows what sort of gathering it is. Were I your friend, I’d want to meet my date for coffee 1-1 before inviting a date to a group thing when all others are long term friends.
Is there a reason why you mentioned your friend’s sexuality? Do you feel like you can’t tell your friend it’s a bad idea - because you don’t want to seem insensitive? Regardless of the gender of your friend’s blind date, it doesn’t seem like a great idea.
It’s sort of a passive aggressive rude move on your friend’s part perhaps. Especially if no one else is bringing a date.
Worst that could happen - it won’t be a great night. Depending on how much you value your friendship with this person, I’d tend to just be polite and as welcoming as possible the the odd woman out.
And I’d schedule another get together.
I wish you luck!
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Go from there! 
