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Old 03-19-2019, 05:16 PM
 
1,203 posts, read 357,170 times
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It isn't his age. His behavior isn't normal for any age. Do you know if any of the other neighbors have had problems with him. If you run into any other neighbors, ask them. You may get the back story on the man. He may be mentally ill or have Alzheimers. Either way you need to not answer the door (I assume you have a peep hole to see who is knocking) or take his calls. Install a door bell camera if necessary.

If his wife is arguing with him about not bothering the neighbors it is more likely he is mentally ill or just weird than being a victim of Alzheimers. Don't worry about how he thinks of you..... just make it plain you aren't going to be friends.
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Old 03-19-2019, 06:33 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,105,065 times
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I think it is dementia or alzheimers. It is not your job to find him care, or call social services, or the police. Just avoid him, keep him out of your apartment, stop answering the door. Let his wife know he is being intrusive.
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Old 03-19-2019, 07:17 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,646,099 times
Reputation: 13548
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I think it is dementia or alzheimers. It is not your job to find him care, or call social services, or the police. Just avoid him, keep him out of your apartment, stop answering the door. Let his wife know he is being intrusive.
Social services or a hotline might have some tips on how the op can deal with him if indeed he has dementia, other than that I agree with you.

We had a similar problem and his wife was hopeless so it was a waste of time trying to talk to her. We did not answer our door,or his calls ,and when he tried to use a neighbour to weasel his way into our life we told the neighbour if she felt sorry for him she can entertain him but please leave us out of it. She never bothered us again. It took several months before this man finally stopped trying.
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Old 03-19-2019, 09:16 PM
 
Location: British Columbia ♥ 🍁 ♥
7,257 posts, read 6,591,773 times
Reputation: 14273
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairMindedLL View Post
The man is lonely and has Alzheimer’s/dementia. All the inappropriate questions are due to this. Have empathy for his condition, say hello and goodbye, be polite. If tries to engage you in longer conversation, tell him you have a pressing issue to deal with. Do this every time. When he calls, ignore his calls or send him to voicemail. Gently tell his wife what’s been going on and get her phone number. When he knocks on your door, ignore it and call him wife to ask her to come fetch him. Good luck.

OP - The above is excellent advice.


It's pretty clear the poor old fellow has dementia and no longer recognizes civil boundaries. His behaviour is inappropriate, not normal for somebody who still has their head screwed on straight. Hopefully if you report his behaviour to his wife she can deal with it and make him understand that he needs to leave your family alone.

.
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Old 03-19-2019, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,364 posts, read 41,900,880 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I think it is dementia or alzheimers. It is not your job to find him care, or call social services, or the police. Just avoid him, keep him out of your apartment, stop answering the door. Let his wife know he is being intrusive.
Exactly.

The OP only need worry about defensive measures, like minimizing contact and keeping him out of their home, not offensive measures like calling social services.

The old guy is offensive enough. If he breaks a law, call the police as you would with anyone.
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Old 03-20-2019, 07:30 AM
 
Location: SE Florida
512 posts, read 103,347 times
Reputation: 1632
I have to agree with the dementia/Alzheimer's comments. Calling the police will help. We have a neighbor that was intrusive, always out wandering around, going up into driveways, going into other's mailboxes, trying to open moving car doors as people were turning the corner (his home is on a corner lot), jumping out in front of and making threatening gestures at people walking their dogs, yelling at the yard guys (community provided), making inappropriate conversation, jumping up and down and making "jazz hands" at cars driving by, even jumping out in front of cars, etc. One day, a neighbor caught him trying to get into his car and shed. He'd had enough and called the police. They came out, talked to that neighbor, talked to me as we are next door, and talked to some of the other neighbors who'd had problems with him, and then eventually talked to the wife. I don't know what was done since none of us are on speaking terms with the wife because she would always get angry and defensive when spoken to about his behavior, but he disappeared for a while and now that's he back the wandering around has stopped, as well as all the other inappropriate behavior. I'm guessing he was put in a psych facility and then on medication of some sort. Now, about the only time he comes out is when she leaves for and comes home from work or they are going somewhere. Otherwise, he's either inside or sitting on his screened porch smoking.
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Old 03-20-2019, 07:44 AM
 
26,364 posts, read 24,528,919 times
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agree here with everyone else, if something isn't done soon, the man will invite his own problems by talking to other people like that and say something like that to the wrong person....
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Old 03-20-2019, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
2,072 posts, read 860,351 times
Reputation: 3673
That is not normal behavior. He has lost all filters due to dementia/Alzheimer's probably. Have other neighbors experienced this behavior, is this new behavior. Best to just not respond to him, don't engage.
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Old 03-20-2019, 10:46 AM
 
1,949 posts, read 5,318,979 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlInYellowSocks View Post
It shouldn’t have. Like I said, it was a MISTAKE! Somewhere we had a soft corner for him considering his age and his loneliness. Moreover, we did not think it would come back to bite us. Poor judgement, we read him wrong.
Block him.
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Old 03-20-2019, 02:27 PM
 
1,978 posts, read 963,275 times
Reputation: 5317
Amazing what folks will tolerate for the sake of 'being nice'. I would happily shut this guy down.
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