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Old 03-23-2019, 09:57 PM
 
10,559 posts, read 12,747,481 times
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Does anyone have any friends that are too pushy and aggressive sometimes?

I have a friend who has done many things that bothered me, and sometimes I'll remember these things later and it still bothers me. For example, one time we went to eat somewhere after an evening event. I picked the place and he agreed. When we got there I noticed that it was 30 minutes before closing, and the employees had started to clean up and were stacking chairs upside down on tables. Right next door was a 24 hour place.

I suggested going to the place next door. They even had some similar menu items. But he must have had his mind intent on the first place because he insisted that we go there. I did it but I wasn't happy. We were literally the only ones there. They served us because technically they were still open, but we did stay a little past their closing time, and I understand that is normal policy. But I still think it's rude for customers to behave this way. I hated the entire meal and didn't even enjoy eating there. Afterwards I wished that we had compromised. I could have gone next door and let him pick up something from the other place and bring it over. Both places were kind of fast food so I don't think they would have minded us doing it.

Can anyone relate to this?
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Old 03-23-2019, 10:05 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
955 posts, read 226,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OzzyRules View Post
Does anyone have any friends that are too pushy and aggressive sometimes?

I have a friend who has done many things that bothered me, and sometimes I'll remember these things later and it still bothers me. For example, one time we went to eat somewhere after an evening event. I picked the place and he agreed. When we got there I noticed that it was 30 minutes before closing, and the employees had started to clean up and were stacking chairs upside down on tables. Right next door was a 24 hour place.

I suggested going to the place next door. They even had some similar menu items. But he must have had his mind intent on the first place because he insisted that we go there. I did it but I wasn't happy. We were literally the only ones there. They served us because technically they were still open, but we did stay a little past their closing time, and I understand that is normal policy. But I still think it's rude for customers to behave this way. I hated the entire meal and didn't even enjoy eating there. Afterwards I wished that we had compromised. I could have gone next door and let him pick up something from the other place and bring it over. Both places were kind of fast food so I don't think they would have minded us doing it.

Can anyone relate to this?
if it was 30 minutes before closing & only fast food...that was probably more than enough time Lol.....

but if it bothers you so much or you think he is too aggressive...don't go to eat with him next time?
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Old 03-23-2019, 10:07 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
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That wouldn't bother me, and when I get a craving for a certain restaurant food, that is the only thing I want.

I wouldn't consider that friend aggressive.
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Old 03-23-2019, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,110 posts, read 22,968,690 times
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I would have been really uncomfortable ordering in a restaurant where they were starting to put chairs up on tables.

I can't blame your friend, although I personally am not like your friend. I would never order in those circumstances.

But, it's on you to say, sorry, I'm not comfortable here, so I'm going next door to eat. Have a great evening!

Your friend is welcome to go eat at the place that is closing, and you are free to eat at the place next door.

Your friend will learn that you aren't going to just follow them, regardless of your own discomfort.

This is about the kind of friendships you want to have. If you are required to put up with someone who puts you in uncomfortable situations in order to be their friend - you have to decide if you are okay with that.

Personally, I would not be okay with that. I would rather be alone, than have bad company.
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Old 03-23-2019, 10:25 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
955 posts, read 226,046 times
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I worked at a restaurant in high school.....& it was very common for people to stay after closing by a few minutes.....some of the guys would start stacking the chairs early so all of us could make an early getaway...but we were always told we weren't supposed to start stacking chairs until after the doors were locked.....not 30 minutes before....! The employees were in the wrong there & if it is only fast food.....it's kind of silly to make a fuss about it...

BUT if he is aggressive in other things too.....or you don't like being with your friend, then don't go to dinner or have him as a friend....
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Old 03-23-2019, 10:58 PM
 
1,631 posts, read 748,785 times
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If you felt he was too "aggressive" and in the wrong, then perhaps you were too weeny when you went along with it.

If he often behaves in a manner that you don't agree with and irritates you or makes you unhappy, do something about it. Like, walk.
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Old 03-24-2019, 04:03 AM
 
18,360 posts, read 23,537,072 times
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use your words.... do not appease -

im always considerate...…. "we" can talk a 1000 places but if I felt I was holding up the crew from going home after a long day....i'd leave

appeasement is usually saved for marriage.....major red flag early in a relationship..
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Old 03-24-2019, 04:42 AM
 
3,974 posts, read 1,700,976 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I would have been really uncomfortable ordering in a restaurant where they were starting to put chairs up on tables.

I can't blame your friend, although I personally am not like your friend. I would never order in those circumstances.

But, it's on you to say, sorry, I'm not comfortable here, so I'm going next door to eat. Have a great evening!

Your friend is welcome to go eat at the place that is closing, and you are free to eat at the place next door.

Your friend will learn that you aren't going to just follow them, regardless of your own discomfort.

This is about the kind of friendships you want to have. If you are required to put up with someone who puts you in uncomfortable situations in order to be their friend - you have to decide if you are okay with that.

Personally, I would not be okay with that. I would rather be alone, than have bad company.
I remember back in the day when I worked until midnight, we would often go to places and it would be close to closing when we got there. I did not consider it aggressive to eat at a place that was open because it was an hour or 30 minutes before closing. If it closes at 1, it closes at 1. Now some places would close the kitchen at 12:30, and that made sense. But if we got our orders in by 12:25, we would eat there.
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,671 posts, read 4,712,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OzzyRules View Post
But I still think it's rude for customers to behave this way. I hated the entire meal and didn't even enjoy eating there.
And you don't think this is an over-reaction?

To be honest, OP, you come across as timid and overly concerned with what others might be thinking about you.
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Old 03-24-2019, 08:50 AM
 
8,644 posts, read 19,081,855 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
I remember back in the day when I worked until midnight, we would often go to places and it would be close to closing when we got there. I did not consider it aggressive to eat at a place that was open because it was an hour or 30 minutes before closing. If it closes at 1, it closes at 1. Now some places would close the kitchen at 12:30, and that made sense. But if we got our orders in by 12:25, we would eat there.
But if you close at 0100, why are you closing the kitchen at 1230? The kitchen should close when the restaurant closes..how long it takes employees to close is not the customers problem. Not trying to be snarky, just really want to know

I donít consider the OPs friend aggressive either, but if I knew we were going to be longer than 30 mins, Iíd go next door and eat. Friend can choose to stay or come with me.
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