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Old 03-25-2019, 03:43 AM
 
350 posts, read 252,757 times
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Are you 12 years old? No one will ignore the fact that you are spending time trying to gather people who will agree that your actions are correct rather than have a brief conversation with your mother.
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Old 03-25-2019, 06:43 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,231 posts, read 4,796,929 times
Reputation: 21528
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneymkt View Post
I agree which is why I decided to ignore and delete her text messages. The last thing I need to do right now is yell to the top of my lungs and raise my blood pressure.
Good grief - how old are you that you are yelling at your own mother? Many years ago my husband's mother called him (in the days before cell phones) and left a message for him to call before she went to visit her sister out of state. He was busy and didn't call her back. She died in bed while visiting her sister. He regretted not calling her back for years. Yes you handled her text the wrong way; I realize that's not what you want to hear but do what you want, most people do.
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Old 03-25-2019, 06:51 AM
 
792 posts, read 327,439 times
Reputation: 2424
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneymkt View Post
That's what I did but she responded with 2 more text messages probably saying something that was going to make upset so I deleted them. I didn't want to get myself aggravated so I said it's best to ignore the text call tomorrow.
You can't just have a flash of agitation, respond with, "As I said before, I'll call you tomorrow, Mom," and go about your day?

You don't HAVE to text back, call back, or ruin your own day by giving into your irritation. It doesn't matter how many more times she keeps texting back. You never have to respond any other way than what YOU choose. If she intends to text you every 2 minutes, block her until you choose. I'm sure she will be irritated... there seems to be a history of you both treating each other with disrespect. Stop that. Stop being so volatile and reactionary.
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Old 03-25-2019, 08:18 AM
 
6,407 posts, read 2,304,073 times
Reputation: 14747
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneymkt View Post
I was asking should I have responded to the text tonight near bed time instead of this morning to avoid her stupid text message she sent today?


WTF does it even matter? You're going to do what you're going to do. You want us to justify your decision to ignore your mom?
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Old 03-25-2019, 08:51 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,095 posts, read 70,000,298 times
Reputation: 75890
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneymkt View Post
She sent me a text this morning saying to give a call sometime today and I responded letting her know that I have to go today which is rare for me on a sunday. So I just said It will probably have to be tomorrow because I don;t know what time I will be back in the house. Then she sends two text messages probably saying something like..."when it comes to your mother you should never" I decided not to read the text because I don;t want to get myself upset and call her cursing and yelling. I think she forgets how old I am and on my own and can call someone when I ready.

So should I have just ignored the text until later on tonight and said I would call her on Monday morning instead of saying it on sunday morning?
There's absolutely nothing wrong with texting back, "I've got a busy day today. I'll get back to you this evening or tomorrow."

What could possibly be wrong with that? And she texts you a lecture about your duty to respond immediately, because she's your mother? Wow. Could she by any chance, have narcissistic or domineering tendencies? You have my sympathy, OP.
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Old 03-25-2019, 09:02 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,095 posts, read 70,000,298 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Thatís what she was SUPPOSED to do. You donít get lifelong credit for things youíre supposed to do when you chose to bring a child into the world. Also, doesnít excuse bad behavior like needing attention all the time.
THIS! Diss gets it!
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Old 03-25-2019, 09:39 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,622,128 times
Reputation: 13508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
There's absolutely nothing wrong with texting back, "I've got a busy day today. I'll get back to you this evening or tomorrow."

What could possibly be wrong with that? And she texts you a lecture about your duty to respond immediately, because she's your mother? Wow. Could she by any chance, have narcissistic or domineering tendencies? You have my sympathy, OP.
Sometimes fear that your adult child doesnít care or is irritated or has contempt for you can lead a parent to texting for reassurance, doesnít necessarily mean they are narcissistic. However there seems more to this than one incident and an inability by the op to set healthy respectful boundaries.
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Old 03-25-2019, 11:00 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,395 posts, read 14,238,774 times
Reputation: 22915
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneymkt View Post
The question was did I handle the text the wrong way because I responded early in the day instead of waiting until the end of the day to say I will call tomorrow. I guess after this experience I will just ignore her texts and call when I get time.
I get the feeling that if your mom is as needy as she sounds putting off a response will only make her worry, therefore she will only text more often. I agree with others that the best thing to do is to respond and let her know you will be unavailable until such and such time. Then make sure you DO call back when you said you would.

Also there is no reason you have to text someone back if you don't like it. You always have the option to respond to a text with a phone call.
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Old 03-25-2019, 11:20 AM
 
3,676 posts, read 1,340,176 times
Reputation: 1549
Well I called my mom today and the first thing she said was.."I apologize for what I said in the text message" and I told her I never read them. So it looks like I made the right decision to ignore them and just call today because I know for a fact I would have probably been upset after reading whatever she sent me.
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Old 03-25-2019, 11:31 AM
 
6,465 posts, read 1,291,775 times
Reputation: 16398
I am a mom of an adult daughter, and it would not bother me if she did not return a call or e-mail right away (like within three or four days or so) unless I said it was urgent and/or needed her to call or respond right away. If I did say that -- and I very rarely do -- it angers me if I don't hear back within 24 hours, at most unless she has a very good reason for not responding. To ignore a call like that practically screams that you don't care about the person at all.
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