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Old 03-28-2019, 06:44 PM
 
1,090 posts, read 707,290 times
Reputation: 1700

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ddm2k View Post
Unless for some unforeseen reason I must attend court, and have to address a judge as "your honor" to avoid being held in contempt (hey, I'm sure it's possible), I am on a first-name basis with everyone unless I'm calling someone by the familial relation (mom/dad). The Mr./Mrs./Ms. was dropped after graduating school.

At 29, I am as much as an adult as anyone else - I've been one for 11 years. I do not address anyone in a way that would imply they are my superior. Not my doctor, not my dentist, not my boss or his boss or her boss. Perhaps counter-intuitively, being on the same level as the person with whom you are dealing begets you MORE respect in return.

If the interaction begins with the assumption that one person is superior to the other, it is already toxic whether its nature is amicable or adversarial.
The whole "holier-than-thou" nonsense in the court system creates contempt. Judges are people, not gods. It's even worse in the UK.
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Old 03-28-2019, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
20,995 posts, read 11,624,951 times
Reputation: 31833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okey Dokie View Post
I believe this has something to do with HIPAA, at least when they’re calling you back from the reception area. Calling you just “Peggy” gives you some anonymity. Calling for “Peggy Praline”- now everybody knows who you are.
This is actually not correct. But I do think it's a factor in changing practices in doctors offices because so many people have been convinced to believe the incorrect information.

Quote:
Covered entities, such as physician’s offices, may use patient sign-in sheets or call out patient names in waiting rooms, so long as the information disclosed is appropriately limited. The HIPAA Privacy Rule explicitly permits the incidental disclosures that may result from this practice, for example, when other patients in a waiting room hear the identity of the person whose name is called, or see other patient names on a sign-in sheet. However, these incidental disclosures are permitted only when the covered entity has implemented reasonable safeguards and the minimum necessary standard, where appropriate. For example, the sign-in sheet may not display medical information that is not necessary for the purpose of signing in (e.g., the medical problem for which the patient is seeing the physician). See 45 CFR 164.502(a)(1)(iii).
https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/for-profes...ets/index.html

In any case, as for the general question, the world has changed and people use first names. When Trump talks to other world leaders, they call and refer to each other by first names. My last job was at a Fortune 500 company, where the CEO was the person whose name was literally on the door of all of their various locations. When I had occasion to talk or email directly with him, which I sometimes did, he used and expected to be called by his first name.

Now I will say that the doctor/dentist one is interesting. I an an attorney and work in a hospital and interact with doctors all day long. And we all call each other by our first names, which is the customary practice among professionals in almost every workplace these days. However, many of the administrative and clerical staff, particularly younger people, tend to default to Dr. Smith. They wouldn't be corrected if they said John or Mary but if they are more comfortable this way, it's left alone. However, in my personal life, if I am getting medical treatment, I do end up reverting to Dr. Jones. I tend to think they probably wouldn't care if I said Jim or Jane, but it's just what comes out.
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Old 03-28-2019, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Wake County, NC
1,169 posts, read 1,468,407 times
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I have a last name that people have trouble pronouncing. During introductions, if they struggle with saying it, I will jump in with "Susan is fine". On a related note, I hate when people call me Sue or Suzie!
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Old 03-28-2019, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
24,737 posts, read 23,704,984 times
Reputation: 30454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praline View Post
I guess I am old fashioned (I am 43) because I hate it when intake clerks and medical assistants at the doctor's office automatically assume it is okay to address me by my first name. It would seem petty to say, "I prefer being addressed as Ms. Praline. Thank you," when I probably won't see this person again, but I am slightly irritated by it.
I've worked those jobs. Medical office. You shouldn't use their first name because you don't know them. Some people liked that we knew their name. Those were the repeat visits. The surgeon I worked for used to call his surgery assistant for the first names of people he was going to talk to. He remembered some of them. Not a bad thing, but they were all surgeries to him.

He'd stay up half the night trying to figure out what he was going to do.
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Old 03-28-2019, 08:48 PM
 
12,547 posts, read 10,418,780 times
Reputation: 17302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I can tell you why it would bother ME. I personally, do NOT like it when people I don't know refer to me by my first name, or if they call me "dear" or "sweetie". It may very well be an age thing. But if someone significantly younger than me, calls me by my first name...it seems...dismissive...like I'm being talked down to.


While I objectively understand that it's not always the intention (For instance, a waitress at Waffle House calling me sweetie probably isn't trying to talk down to me) but I'd still prefer that she didn't. It's like we're not on parity with each other...thus I'm supposed to feel like I've been put in my place or something.
This just shows that people have different opinions on these things and OP's isn't the end all be all "correct" "polite" way. It's simple to just do what someone asks, that's the best show of respect imo.

Maybe it's my area and also my age (younger), but we never placed much emphasis on title or superiority or anything like that, we just do what people ask of us, which imo is the most polite of all. Teachers were always Mr. and Mrs. and doctors and dentists always Dr. but all other people were addressed however was appropriate in the situation, then by how they preferred after initial introductions. I was raised to call my parents' friends Mr. or Mrs. [last name], unless they said otherwise, and many did request that we call them by their first name, so we did. Now that I am older, an adult, I see no reason to call even older adults who I know Mr. or Mrs. [last name] because we are all adults, and no one that I can ever recall has openly expressed to me that they think that is rude. I really think most people just don't care tbh. But personally, I don't hold older adults on some higher pedestal just because they're older. It doesn't mean they're smarter, better, more worthy of not being called by their first name (unless they actually ask).
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Old 03-28-2019, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Middle of the Pacific Ocean
11,411 posts, read 6,177,782 times
Reputation: 11239
If you're younger than me or are not of "superior" rank/position to me, I will call you by your first name. Otherwise, I'll say "Mr.", "Ms.", "Dr.", etc.
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Old 03-28-2019, 09:46 PM
 
Location: New to Bay Area
804 posts, read 192,544 times
Reputation: 805
Quote:
Originally Posted by ddm2k View Post
Unless for some unforeseen reason I must attend court, and have to address a judge as "your honor" to avoid being held in contempt (hey, I'm sure it's possible), I am on a first-name basis with everyone unless I'm calling someone by the familial relation (mom/dad). The Mr./Mrs./Ms. was dropped after graduating school.

At 29, I am as much as an adult as anyone else - I've been one for 11 years. I do not address anyone in a way that would imply they are my superior. Not my doctor, not my dentist, not my boss or his boss or her boss. Perhaps counter-intuitively, being on the same level as the person with whom you are dealing begets you MORE respect in return.

If the interaction begins with the assumption that one person is superior to the other, it is already toxic whether its nature is amicable or adversarial.
A professional relationship is different than personal....& your boss is your superior at work. I'd never call doctors at work by their 1st names even if I do call a few of them by first name outside of work..
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Old 03-29-2019, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
11,663 posts, read 8,256,923 times
Reputation: 5760
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
The rules have changed!
Yes.

People used to dress to the nines when they flew on airplanes. It was almost a privilege to fly and people reacted accordingly. Now people are cutting their toenails on flights.
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Old 03-29-2019, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Camberville
11,980 posts, read 16,703,857 times
Reputation: 19585
Quote:
Originally Posted by prospectheightsresident View Post
If you're younger than me or are not of "superior" rank/position to me, I will call you by your first name. Otherwise, I'll say "Mr.", "Ms.", "Dr.", etc.
And this is why I hate being called "Ms." (or worse - and more frequent - "Mrs."). It's almost always coming from someone younger and a reference to my age. I find it incredibly rude.
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Old 03-29-2019, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
12,116 posts, read 10,245,532 times
Reputation: 32967
What about those with Doctorates that get angry when you don't address them as Dr? I work with a guy who has a Doctorate in analytics or something and people here call him Dr. Smith (this is a corporate office setting). It sounds ridiculous to call someone a Dr. when they aren't a medical doctor but apparently this guy gets really angry if you don't honor all his hard work and dedication. A bit silly if you ask me.
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