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Old 04-04-2019, 06:28 AM
 
793 posts, read 1,284,747 times
Reputation: 1144

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What would think, if your "best friend" doesn't introduce you to her other friends. She goes out with other people and doesn't ask me along.

We used to talk a lot but now it's once a week, if that.

She seems to have other friends and activities and I don't have much going on in my life. I do depend on her, but I've always depended on her and she never seemed to mind.

I know I have problems (insecurity) but when we are together we laugh and have a great time and I forget my insecurities.

What bothers me the most is that she doesn't invite me to do other things with her other friends. I even think she is hiding friends from me and says she's staying in, when really she is going out and doing stuff.

Any advice on how I could get her to accept me and include with her other friends?
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Old 04-04-2019, 06:44 AM
 
9,699 posts, read 4,935,469 times
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She has ZERO obligation to introduce you to her other friends. She has ZERO obligation to tell you when she's going out with her other friends.

You need to find ways to make friends without depending on her to do it for you.
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:02 AM
 
Location: USA
3,569 posts, read 848,423 times
Reputation: 4166
Seems that she doesn't consider you to be her best friend.

Even so, she's not obligated to include you when she spends time with others.
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:06 AM
 
793 posts, read 1,284,747 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by applej3 View Post
Seems that she doesn't consider you to be her best friend.

Even so, she's not obligated to include you when she spends time with others.
We used to be but then I dropped her and didn't talk to her for 4 yrs. I reached out after being lonely for the friendship, but it's never been the same. I don't think she trusts me anymore. If this was the case, I wish she had never agreed to be friends with me again. I'm hurt.
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:17 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,625,631 times
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The only thing that counts is the time you and her spend together. It seems you are willing to ruin that with jealousy. Why can’t you just enjoy and value what time you do spend together?
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:24 AM
 
6,427 posts, read 2,313,296 times
Reputation: 14794
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckygirl15 View Post
We used to be but then I dropped her and didn't talk to her for 4 yrs. I reached out after being lonely for the friendship, but it's never been the same. I don't think she trusts me anymore. If this was the case, I wish she had never agreed to be friends with me again. I'm hurt.

Girl, you have no right to be hurt. You just don't. YOU dropped her. And you know she doesn't trust you the same anymore.


YOU'RE hurt?


If you want her back as your friend, you need to show HER that YOU can be someone to count on. That YOU have her back. That YOU care about her feelings. But instead, you're hurt because you dumped her as a friend, and now she has other friends. You're entirely too self-centered to be a best friend to this person.
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:41 AM
 
793 posts, read 1,284,747 times
Reputation: 1144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Girl, you have no right to be hurt. You just don't. YOU dropped her. And you know she doesn't trust you the same anymore.


YOU'RE hurt?


If you want her back as your friend, you need to show HER that YOU can be someone to count on. That YOU have her back. That YOU care about her feelings. But instead, you're hurt because you dumped her as a friend, and now she has other friends. You're entirely too self-centered to be a best friend to this person.

Yes, I agree with most of what you said, but shouldn't she have forgiven me before becoming friends with me again? I mean, why would she think I wanted a different type of friendship than what we had years ago?

It's like she is only friends with me on her terms and she doesn't give me the support like she used to. I don't understand.
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:59 AM
 
793 posts, read 1,284,747 times
Reputation: 1144
Last weekend, I pressed her on why she seemed so distant and didn't want to commit to a vacation, and she said that she didn't trust me completely. She pointed out 2 times where we made plans and reservations and then I cancelled due to sickness. I asked her what I could do to gain that trust but she really didn't answer. She seemed to be avoiding the subject.

Bottom line is that I don't think she will ever trust me again. Maybe I've done too many things to her and depended on her too much to lift me up.

I don't have any other connections in my life. Too many people have left me. She was the one that stuck beside me and helped me but now she doesn't want to do that. I have nobody!

I guess I'm hurt that she doesn't love me like she used to and that she doesn't even seem to care.

It all hurts.

Is she being selfish?
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Old 04-04-2019, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
12,123 posts, read 10,274,901 times
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She doesn't want worlds to collide (see Seinfeld).
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Old 04-04-2019, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Fuquay Varina
4,534 posts, read 6,617,033 times
Reputation: 11222
Quote:
Originally Posted by luckygirl15 View Post
Last weekend, I pressed her on why she seemed so distant and didn't want to commit to a vacation, and she said that she didn't trust me completely. She pointed out 2 times where we made plans and reservations and then I cancelled due to sickness. I asked her what I could do to gain that trust but she really didn't answer. She seemed to be avoiding the subject.

Bottom line is that I don't think she will ever trust me again. Maybe I've done too many things to her and depended on her too much to lift me up.

I don't have any other connections in my life. Too many people have left me. She was the one that stuck beside me and helped me but now she doesn't want to do that. I have nobody!

I guess I'm hurt that she doesn't love me like she used to and that she doesn't even seem to care.

It all hurts.

Is she being selfish?


You dropped her, how is she being selfish that she doesn't trust you?
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