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Old 04-05-2019, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Virginia
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My mother used to call that attitude "snotty", but that would be considered a crude term today, lol.
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Old 04-05-2019, 11:09 AM
Status: "?" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Tucson Arizona
3,773 posts, read 1,593,842 times
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Insecure.
They're so worried that they've made the wrong choice that they put down all other options.
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Old 04-05-2019, 12:28 PM
 
6,164 posts, read 2,225,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I was watching an old movie the other day and one character described something to another who replied "oh how droll that you still do (xyz)." This was said in a kind tone but was definitely a put down.

I know someone who does this a lot. A friend sent her a listing for a house she was looking at buying and her response was "oh dear, basements are so scary and quaint! We just don't have them here. And look! A bathroom with a tub! How interesting!" If anyone talks about weather changes she will say "I just don't know how you do it it. So robust! I would love to visit but I positively can't take temperatures under 70." (She lives in Florida.)

What would you call this? Virtue signaling? Passive aggressivity? I'm searching for a term and I just can't think of the right one.

I'd call it the back-handed compliment. And yeah, it's passive aggressive.
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Old 04-05-2019, 12:45 PM
 
781 posts, read 419,411 times
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It sounds like the person is more highly opinionated with her choices and preferences being deemed by her as superior. She's a one upper. It's like, "Oh, you're having spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner? That's quite a filling meal! Oh my, I never eat pasta! Adds too much to my waistline. It's only protein and veggies for me." Or "You've gotten a new Porsche? Oh dear, I don't know how you aren't worried all the time driving in that with all the crazy drivers today. With my old sedan, I never worry about dents or scratches!"

Maybe it's not so much passive aggressive, but just more Mother Superior looking down her spectacles with her way of doing things being the right or best way. She throws a little dig in to knock the other person down in the process.
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Old 04-05-2019, 02:17 PM
 
Location: East Coast
3,092 posts, read 1,854,072 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
Haha there's an element of that for sure.

I think patronizing is closest but there's also an element of the individual being too fine and delicate to live with the things that many people see as normal like a basement or a bathtub. And sort of mild shock that anyone might see things differently. Maybe I need to coin a new term.
It does sound generally like she's attempting to be condescending and patronizing, but I would say she's unsuccessful in the attempt, because basements are actually highly desirable and most places do have them (except in places like Florida and some parts of California) due to issues with the land itself. And most people do want a bathtub in at least one of the bathrooms even if they themselves don't usually take baths. So, I would say she's attempting to be patronizing, but is actually sheltered, naive, unworldly and ignorant.
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Old 04-05-2019, 03:48 PM
 
6,164 posts, read 2,225,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
Yes I agree but there's also an element of superiority or at least specialness that she implies she has that others don't. I know there's got to be a term. I can't put my finger on it. There's always this "well that's fine for you but no way I'd even be caught dead living that way" undertone.

Princess?
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Old 04-05-2019, 04:15 PM
 
781 posts, read 419,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Princess?
I'm picturing Mrs. Bucket (Bue-que')!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGt-...ature=youtu.be

Last edited by Chloe333; 04-05-2019 at 04:23 PM..
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Old 04-05-2019, 04:35 PM
 
2,272 posts, read 1,159,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe333 View Post
I'm picturing Mrs. Bucket (Bue-que')!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGt-...ature=youtu.be
Kind of but with Blanche DuBois and a little Kim Kardashian thrown in.
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Old 04-05-2019, 04:47 PM
 
13,355 posts, read 6,556,367 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
Yes I agree but there's also an element of superiority or at least specialness that she implies she has that others don't. I know there's got to be a term. I can't put my finger on it. There's always this "well that's fine for you but no way I'd even be caught dead living that way" undertone.
Right, she might as well just say that straight out. I like basements, btw. We don't have them much where I live, water tables or something, but I like them. Storage, a bonus room. Shelter from storms.....
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Old 04-05-2019, 04:51 PM
 
13,355 posts, read 6,556,367 times
Reputation: 12793
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
Haha there's an element of that for sure.

I think patronizing is closest but there's also an element of the individual being too fine and delicate to live with the things that many people see as normal like a basement or a bathtub. And sort of mild shock that anyone might see things differently. Maybe I need to coin a new term.
A lot of people do prefer the shower only thing. Some people have -0- interest in ever taking a bath. Some think you don't come out much cleaner, wallowing in water one has dirtied.
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