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I was watching an old movie the other day and one character described something to another who replied "oh how droll that you still do (xyz)." This was said in a kind tone but was definitely a put down.
I know someone who does this a lot. A friend sent her a listing for a house she was looking at buying and her response was "oh dear, basements are so scary and quaint! We just don't have them here. And look! A bathroom with a tub! How interesting!" If anyone talks about weather changes she will say "I just don't know how you do it it. So robust! I would love to visit but I positively can't take temperatures under 70." (She lives in Florida.)
What would you call this? Virtue signaling? Passive aggressivity? I'm searching for a term and I just can't think of the right one.
Subtle, passive-aggressive naysaying. She's subtly putting things down in a way that seems nice on the surface. She probably doesn't realize she's being that way. Some people think they're being happy and normal but they have an inherently negative mindset that infects everything they say and do, and most of them aren't aware of it.
Subtle, passive-aggressive naysaying. She's subtly putting things down in a way that seems nice on the surface. She probably doesn't realize she's being that way. Some people think they're being happy and normal but they have an inherently negative mindset that infects everything they say and do, and most of them aren't aware of it.
Yes I agree but there's also an element of superiority or at least specialness that she implies she has that others don't. I know there's got to be a term. I can't put my finger on it. There's always this "well that's fine for you but no way I'd even be caught dead living that way" undertone.
Yes I agree but there's also an element of superiority or at least specialness that she implies she has that others don't. I know there's got to be a term. I can't put my finger on it. There's always this "well that's fine for you but no way I'd even be caught dead living that way" undertone.
Yes! I know the exact vibe you're talking about. I've experienced a lot of people like this.
Reminds me of a woman in a grocery store who came up to me a couple years ago and said: "Pink hair! WOW. How interesting. I'd feel so stupid with hair like that! You're brave!"
I think a character in the Bridget Jones book called it "jellyfishing" A comment that on the surface seems soft and harmless, but underneath there's poison tentacles.
Yes I agree but there's also an element of superiority or at least specialness that she implies she has that others don't. I know there's got to be a term. I can't put my finger on it. There's always this "well that's fine for you but no way I'd even be caught dead living that way" undertone.
See in some ways I think it's the opposite. They are somewhat envious that you can go with the flow about some things so they falsely build you up so they don't feel bad. But it's a form of patronizing, IMHO. There's nothing superhero-ish or unique about living in a house with a basement, but she makes it seem that way so she doesn't have to reveal her fear of basements?
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