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I agree with everything you posted especially no#10 it bothers me that the op is more concerned with her cats then the grandchild, yes I know we love our pets but personally I would choose what's best for the innocent baby.
Why is the OP responsible for a decision made by her daughter and boyfriend?
I havent read through the entire thread so I apologize if this has already been addressed. However, it's important enough that, even if it has been addressed, it deserves another mention.
Pregnant women should be careful when around cats. They should not change litterboxes or be near cat poop because they can get toxoplasmosis, a parasitic infection that can be transmitted through cat poop (such as in kitty litter or outdoor soil where cats have pooped) -- and then pass it on to their babies in utero. This can result in serious birth defects, such as eye and brain damage.
There was a rerun of a show in the Medical Mysteries series (on the Discovery Health channel) about just such a case.
Unfortunately, I don't have the resources right now to get my own place, and neither do Holly and Todd, and I really don't want to create any more rifts in the family. I'm just not sure what to do or say to get the message across that none of my pets are going anywhere......unless they either die on their own, or I have to euthanize them.
I get your love for your pets. So...you will make the choice of keeping the pets vs keeping your daughter, new baby and the father there--especially if they cannot afford to move out.
I don't see why the OP should have to get rid of her cats or change her lifestyle because her daughter and "boyfriend" were irresponsible with their birth control. While I agree there seems to be some pet hoarding going on the OP has not returned to tell us if all these pets are inside all the time or if there is a lot of acreage and the cats spend a lot of time outside.
Holly and the boyfriend need to make their own lives at these point. I don't remember if they are paying toward rent/mortgage but maybe mom can help them find a place. A house with all those animals is not someplace I would want to bring my baby home to so they need to do their best to find another home.
The OP needs to make an adult decision if her kid can't.
From other threads she is a low paid retailed worker living off her retired teacher mother. In Phoenix. Salaries for both professions are not at the high end.
Let's consider some numbers. The cost of one year of Banfield wellness for an adult cat in Phoenix is about $24 a month assuming it's spayed. That's about $2600 a year for nine cats and another $370 or so for a dog according to the online calculator. Let's say she works at Costco and gets $12.50 an hour. That's almost $27k a year. She's probably taking home about 22k. A full 13.6 % of her annual pay is going to vet care in this scenario. Add to that the cost of food (listed as $1070 per cat and $1270 per dog with a quick Google search) and that brings us to $10900 per year. So about $14k a year total for these pets in this scenario. I assume she drives a car and must pay gas as is typically done in Phoenix, has a credit card, feeds herself from time to time, wears clothes, occasionally gets a haircut, etc. In fairness to her, my numbers could be off for salary and she may not take her animals to the vet for check ups but only go in an emergency, in which case the numbers skyrocket for any surgery or after hours visits. Unless she is making more than double my guess, she really can't afford these animals.
And OP has made her choice. She clearly wants to keep them all. So the only logical thing to do is for HER to be the adult here and move out. This will entail some sort of sacrifice-- either getting a second job to support her dependents (and who knows. She may already have one.) Or realizing that this is not normal or healthy from any perspective be it financial, physical (for her or the pets) or emotional and rehoming some if not all. SHE is the adult here. Her daughter clearly hasn't applied her own math to the baby situation. Someone has to be the wiser being in this situation and my vote is for the person who has more years of experience on the planet and presumably raised a child already. That's the person who knows just how difficult that can be.
I mentioned hoarding in this thread and was told that I was not able to be fair, because I have not been on the OPs house. With the benefit of arithmetic and noticing some of her other posts, I don't think anyone needs to be. On paper this doesn't work. The OP says she's looking forward to being a grandma. So act like a responsible one. Free up some income. Find homes for your pets with people who will love them an have the means to care for them. Get your own place. This family sounds like it's got a generational history of mooching. There's gotta be an end somewhere. The OP should realize that the money she's spending on cats can be used for her own independent life as well as clothing and supplies for the grandchild. What happens if Todd leaves? Who will help the baby get the medical care of needs? Diapers? Clothing? School supplies? Toys? Retired teacher grandma may have gold buried in the yard but it's doubtful. The OP comes across as an adult child and it's time to pass the baton to an ACTUAL child (skip Holly altogether. You both need to woman up here.)
I get the attachment to beloved pets. I do. But none of this makes sense.
Why is the OP responsible for a decision made by her daughter and boyfriend?
That wasn't even implied. This poster is marveling that hoarding cats and keeping the house full of nasty germs and smells and parasites that may very well - with that many, I'd say WILL, not may - cause harm to her daughter and/or her grandchild seems more important than her daughter and grandchild.
Because that IS what her actions are saying. The OP isn't responsible for her daughter having a baby but if harms comes to them because she wanted to continue hoarding cats, she will be partially responsible for that.
I don't see why the OP should have to get rid of her cats or change her lifestyle because her daughter and "boyfriend" were irresponsible with their birth control. While I agree there seems to be some pet hoarding going on the OP has not returned to tell us if all these pets are inside all the time or if there is a lot of acreage and the cats spend a lot of time outside.
Holly and the boyfriend need to make their own lives at these point. I don't remember if they are paying toward rent/mortgage but maybe mom can help them find a place. A house with all those animals is not someplace I would want to bring my baby home to so they need to do their best to find another home.
When did the OP make her own life? Is she married? Or was she a single mom too? Is living with her own mother because she cares for her or can she just not afford a place of her own? Where is her "baby daddy"? Was he a part of her daughter's life? Is he deceased? Is her daughter merely following in her mother's footsteps by expecting gran to foot the bill for her pregnancy or did mom move into her own mother's house well after she raised her daughter? Is this the only daughter?
Accumulation of these pets didn't happen overnight. Though I definitely think that the daughter isn't showing great judgement who knows what behavior was modeled for her growing up.
OP, how did your life become so ramshackle? At your age, you should be living independently with job security and steady growth. Do you have goals? What will happen when you are too old to work minimum wage retail?
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