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The mother always has the right to decide what is best for her child -- whether you agree with her or not. Yes, you could suggest she move out but is that what you want.
My mother was a smoker and her home reeked of tobacco odor. Even if she didn't smoke while in my daughter's presence, I was resistant to taking my daughter to her home. It just didn't seem hygienic enough for my child. (even though I lived there as a child when both my parents were smokers.)
I know how it is being strongly attached to an animal so I know it is not easy.
It sounds like the mother is not getting involved and will let the two kids battle it out, so whoever's will is stronger is going to win in this situation.
At first my brain is telling me that the pets were there to begin with, if they don't want their child in that situation, then move out. However, given that we are talking about a human child and not a cat or a dog, I would recommend maybe negotiating with your sister. Getting rid of all the pets is somewhat extreme, but having as many as you do, unless you live on a farm, it would be reasonable to worry about a toddler crawling around 16 pets.
I guess the hard line is that you could say, if you don't like it, feel free to move out. Having a child, however, is not like getting a cat or dog from the shelter. Maybe you should sit down and come up with a plan that is agreeable to both. I'm sure if you bend a little, your sister would do the same.
When my daughter started crawling around, we had 2 cats. As much as it hurt us, we gave them to a very close friend at that time. It was something we both agreed on. When she turned 6, we got another pet.
Family comes before pets, and this child will be your niece/nephew, so I would make an attempt to negotiate something. Maybe you don't need all 17 pets, maybe there are some that another family could take.
I love cats, but it is difficult, if not impossible in a normal sized house, to have that many animals, and maintain a healthy, clean-ish environment. I think the cats sucking the baby's breath thing is an old wives tale, but I think there are other issues with having a baby around that many animals.
If the parents to be are worried about it, and they are living off grandma, seems like they should move out and get their own place with a manageable number of pets. We had a cat and a dog when our kids here babies/toddlers. It was fine.
If you re-home any of the cats, please do it responsibly. Don't give them to strangers you find on the internet or wherever. Stick with people you know or friends of friends; or take them to a shelter. You don't want them to end up abused.
So why can't Holly and son move in with her family or friends? Have they looked into some rental assistance? Can they get food stamps? There's plenty of help out there if they look around. When you come into some elses house, you are a guest and must conform to their rules. If you can't conform? Move out.
Look, I love my pets, but a baby around that many animals is probably not a good idea. I honestly don't think I could handle that many animals and all the waste that goes with it. However, not my house, not my rules.
1) Unless you're on a farm (and even if you are) I think the number of cats you have is perfectly insane. I have two dogs, a foster dog and one very small cat. That one little cat can make a ton of mess when she wants to and her litter box behavior is perfect. She likes to jump up on me and randomly bite or scratch me, for one thing, and while it doesn't bother me, it could really hurt an infant. I love my animals and if I was in a rural area I'd have a whole pack of dogs, but I'm not.
2) Your daughter and her boyfriend opted to have a kid. They can opt to grow the eff up, prioritize their baby and get a place of their own. I'm not against intergenerational households at all, but your family is not geared for it. You're talking about 4 generations and 17 pets all living together. THat is a recipe for sheer hell and not a good environment for a newborn. But your daughter is being unreasonable to expect you to reconfigure the household around her little family unit.
What it comes down to is this: A newborn should not be in a house with 17 animals. It's too many variables and possibilities of something bad happening. It's your mother's house and what SHE wants is what the final decision is, but either the majority of the animals should go or your daughter, her boyfriend and the baby should go.
2) Your daughter and her boyfriend opted to have a kid. They can opt to grow the eff up, prioritize their baby and get a place of their own. I'm not against intergenerational households at all, but your family is not geared for it. You're talking about 4 generations and 17 pets all living together. THat is a recipe for sheer hell and not a good environment for a newborn. But your daughter is being unreasonable to expect you to reconfigure the household around her little family unit.
What it comes down to is this: A newborn should not be in a house with 17 animals. It's too many variables and possibilities of something bad happening. It's your mother's house and what SHE wants is what the final decision is, but either the majority of the animals should go or your daughter, her boyfriend and the baby should go.
I'd be the first to agree with this! My mom and I get along fine living together, but daughter and her boyfriend are a different generation, and that definitely creates some conflicts.
I should probably also mention that not all of the pets in the house are mine. Some are my mom's, and some belong to my daughter and her boyfriend. The pets are all well-taken care of, and there wasn't an issue with them until my daughter found out she was pregnant.
I'd be the first to agree with this! My mom and I get along fine living together, but daughter and her boyfriend are a different generation, and that definitely creates some conflicts.
I should probably also mention that not all of the pets in the house are mine. Some are my mom's, and some belong to my daughter and her boyfriend. The pets are all well-taken care of, and there wasn't an issue with them until my daughter found out she was pregnant.
Still it's too many for being there with a newborn. You can't know what all 17 animals are doing at any given moment.
If Holly and Todd don't want to live in a house with pets, then they need to get their own house. They have no right to order you to get rid of your pets. They knew there were pets in the home before they decided to introduce a baby into the household. They're the ones who need to move out, not the pets.
Your mom is right. Stand up for yourself.
In any event, I recall reading recently that studies are indicating that children raised with pets have fewer allergies and possibly other health issues than children raised in pet-deprived homes. (You'll have to look up the actual studies to get the proper details of the results.)
So everyone is paying toward the shared living costs...utilities, repairs, upkeep, and of course any mortgage?
And it seems the house may have been mom's for a long time so that mortgage may not exist or may be low?
At any rate, the owner/mom's granddaughter and husband have been saving, right? Right? If not, forget perceived rights.
I'm all for giving good people a good, even great start/leg up. Difficult with someone who wastes what they have whether strength, energy, talent...just the ability to go to work and contribute to that family dynamic you have going.
However, the home belongs to the current grandmother/soon to be great grandmother.
Problem is neither of the sort of true adults, you and your mom, want to speak up.
House is the owner's. She can do what she wants with her pets. She may see it as the house being yours if you are contributing more financially, doing more of the work given perhaps a healthier age. If you are a responsible adult you can keep your cats since it was okay with the owner-mom when they came in and got acclimated and keep a max of cleanliness.
Your daughter and her boyfriend can rehome their own cats as they wish.
Be watchful of any anger from them that may cause them to harm your cats.
They are young...but probably the first to say they are grown and can take care of themselves and have those things called rights...whether they are able to handle those rights or not. Perhaps they can have those rights in a private room that is just theirs...bedroom with tv, small fridge maybe, maybe microwave. They can retreat there as they see fit.
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