Self-Entitled sister-in-law, or was I wrong bringing it up nicely (wife, person)

[HappyFarm34]

I rent to my parents for living in their home. And my brother and his wife knows this. Every so often, like at least once a week, my sister in law comes over with the kids unexpectedly not telling me anything about coming over to visit my parents.

I get home from work late morning. And my sister in law always parks in my spot knowing I’ll be home soon. So, I started to get really annoyed by it especially since she rarely ever tells me about coming over. Even when I’m home from work, she practically acts like I’m not there. It’s a really hurtful feeling and it made me cry. She doesn’t include me in her life at all like she does with my parents and my sister. Believe me, I’ve tried and it was like hitting my head against a brick wall and one-sided conversations when they aren’t interested in talking with you isn’t healthy.

So, I got fed up and asked her nicely using my manners to park anywhere else as long as it wasn’t my spot. She got mad at me saying that I was being childish and blamed my mom that she could park in my spot since I wasn’t home yet. I didn’t want to park off to the side because it’s near a field and I already had problems once with my car because of rodents. The driveway is probably better where it’s gravel than the grass where rodents can hide better.

I think if people are paying rent or mortage, they should get first dibs where to park. I even told her when I go to other people’s houses, family or not I don’t park in their space without permission. It’s rude

My sister in law finally said she won’t be parking in my spot anymore. Idk why she had to make a big deal over it when I’m the one paying rent and she and my brother don’t. They have their own home

[tottsieanna]

Can you not move your car to the driveway after she leaves ? When I lived at home and someone took my spot that's what I did. She is a guest of your parents and probably easier for her with kids. Even though you pay rent, it is still your mom and dad's home and she isn't required to let you know when she is visiting.

[LieslMet]

The driveway is a place to park vehicles. She did. If you nitpick about this, I imagine there are lots of other little things that you show annoyance about. I would probably avoid such a person as well, just to cut down on the possibility of giving offense in some way.

When you finally TOLD her it bugged you, she explained that she just parked in the driveway (maybe she stops in after doing errands and it just happens to be that time; I doubt she's plotting to randomly park in YOUR unmarked spot to bug you) and wouldn't anymore. She said she would do exactly as you asked.

And you STILL have a problem with her. ??
Sometimes, I'll come home and park in the grass at my own house. There are people who stopped in and I'm so glad to see them! YAY- friends/family stopped in to visit! When they leave, I move it back.

Rodents have feet. They run across driveways too. I have never had a rodent problem in my vehicle and CERTAINLY have never thought that rodents think "the driveway is lava."

[gus2]

It's your parents' place. They make the rules. Contributing a little bit in rent doesn't reserve you a primo parking space.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by tottsieanna

Can you not move your car to the driveway after she leaves ? When I lived at home and someone took my spot that's what I did. She is a guest of your parents and probably easier for her with kids. Even though you pay rent, it is still your mom and dad's home and she isn't required to let you know when she is visiting.

i could but it means going back outside and starting my car again. The driveway is too short for her park behind my mom. My car barely fits. The kids are old enough to walk/run on their own. It’s safe for them walk in grass. No, she’s not required to tell me when visiting my parents. It just would be nice to feel more included in family life. Even when I get there, I feel ignored most of the time.

Originally Posted by LieslMet

The driveway is a place to park vehicles. She did. If you nitpick about this, I imagine there are lots of other little things that you show annoyance about. I would probably avoid such a person as well, just to cut down on the possibility of giving offense in some way.

When you finally TOLD her it bugged you, she explained that she just parked in the driveway (maybe she stops in after doing errands and it just happens to be that time; I doubt she's plotting to randomly park in YOUR unmarked spot to bug you) and wouldn't anymore. She said she would do exactly as you asked.

And you STILL have a problem with her. ??
Sometimes, I'll come home and park in the grass at my own house. There are people who stopped in and I'm so glad to see them! YAY- friends/family stopped in to visit! When they leave, I move it back.

Rodents have feet. They run across driveways too. I have never had a rodent problem in my vehicle and CERTAINLY have never thought that rodents think "the driveway is lava."

She goes there sometimes when my brother is sleeping from working overnight. I probably wouldn’t care if she parked in my spot if she made me feel more included in her life like she does with my parents and sister. My sister treats me the same way, doesn’t act like she cares about me. Usually, it’s me initiating the conversation. When I show interest what’s going on with life like plans for the weekend, she doesn’t give me much of a response

Originally Posted by gus2

It's your parents' place. They make the rules. Contributing a little bit in rent doesn't reserve you a primo parking space.

well, in any roommate situation, I wouldn’t want their family or friends parking in my spot. One of my best friends live in a trailer park. When I go there, I don’t park in my friend’s roommate parking spot if he’s not home. I park along the street. I think about others before myself.

[LieslMet]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

She goes there sometimes when my brother is sleeping from working overnight. I probably wouldn’t care if she parked in my spot if she made me feel more included in her life like she does with my parents and sister. My sister treats me the same way, doesn’t act like she cares about me. Usually, it’s me initiating the conversation. When I show interest what’s going on with life, she doesn’t give me much of a response

Again, there must be some pattern of you taking offense where absolutely none is intended. It's more simple to avoid such people than risk offending them in yet another, unknown way.

well, in any roommate situation, I wouldn’t want their family or friends parking in my spot. One of my best friends live in a trailer park. When I go there, I don’t park in my friend’s roommate parking spot if he’s not home. I park along the street. I think about others before myself.

WHY are you parking at your friend's house when he isn't there?

If you're having such issues, living with family, then perhaps you should move out and get your own place with an assigned spot. Even when we rented in apartments or a townhouse complex, the spots weren't assigned. People would park in the spot right in front of our door because... it's simply available parking. There's always enough parking but it's not always the most convenient. That is an unreasonable expectation as a default, even when renting your own place in a complex. Unless there is assigned, numbered parking with a towing service reserved for removal, you do NOT get an assigned spot.

This is your FAMILY. Your expectations are unreasonable... at the very least, in parking.

[YorktownGal]

I get home from work late morning.

Are you working overnight? Do you sleep during the day?

She goes there sometimes when my brother is sleeping from working overnight

I totally get why you would be upset with this situation. She is there because she doesn't want her kids to wake her husband, but it is okay to convenience you in a similar situation.

[Sassybluesy]

So, in your opinion, why does your sister and SIL treat you poorly? Any idea? If you really don't know, have you tried asking your parents if they know? Or even directly asking your sister or SIL?

[tottsieanna]

It is still your parents home and it is still their call and even now is someone parked in my place I still will go out and move my car into my spot. I am sorry though that you feel excluded and I understand that it hurts, just focus on your own friends and step back from trying so hard and if possible start saving some money and get your own place.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by LieslMet

Again, there must be some pattern of you taking offense where absolutely none is intended. It's more simple to avoid such people than risk offending them in yet another, unknown way.




WHY are you parking at your friend's house when he isn't there?

If you're having such issues, living with family, then perhaps you should move out and get your own place with an assigned spot. Even when we rented in apartments or a townhouse complex, the spots weren't assigned. People would park in the spot right in front of our door because... it's simply available parking. There's always enough parking but it's not always the most convenient. That is an unreasonable expectation as a default, even when renting your own place in a complex. Unless there is assigned, numbered parking with a towing service reserved for removal, you do NOT get an assigned spot.

This is your FAMILY. Your expectations are unreasonable... at the very least, in parking.

Um, read the post again. My friend is there when I’m at his house. He lives with a roommate. Sometimes his roommate isn’t there. I don’t park in the roommate’s spot if he’s not home.

Originally Posted by YorktownGal

Are you working overnight? Do you sleep during the day?

I totally get why you would be upset with this situation. She is there because she doesn't want her kids to wake her husband, but it is okay to convenience you in a similar situation.

I work few hours in the morning.

Originally Posted by Sassybluesy

So, in your opinion, why does your sister and SIL treat you poorly? Any idea? If you really don't know, have you tried asking your parents if they know? Or even directly asking your sister or SIL?

I’m the black sheep in family. One reason I can think of is I’m profoundly Deaf. The rest can hear well. I don’t feel part of the “social group “ Even at times I have gone shopping with my sister, I’ve overheard conversations between my sister talking on phone with my sister in law