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With that long list of medical and mental health issues, I wouldn’t move to a non-Medicaid expansion state like Texas. Best case, you lose your parents medical coverage in 4 years. Worst case, your father chops off your medical coverage the day you move to Texas and you can’t afford ACA coverage on a Panera job. Texas is not a place I’d want to be without good private health insurance.
I dont honestly think they would kick me off the healthcare just because of my health conditions. They may not be happy with me in the slightest but I really dont think they would cause me harm like that.
I dont honestly think they would kick me off the healthcare just because of my health conditions. They may not be happy with me in the slightest but I really dont think they would cause me harm like that.
I think you need to be prepared for them to kick you off the health insurance. Your mom sounds vindictive, and she will be very unhappy if/when you move. She will be looking for revenge and possibly a way to complicate your life in Texas so you will come back to Ohio.
Your mom and dad are a married couple. If you do not care for your mom and are wanting to cut ties, be prepared to lose your dad as well. This is exactly what happened to me and it's heartbreaking, I miss my dad terribly, but I'm not willing to have my mother in my life.
Also things to expect if you do this: complete cut-off from any financial support, no more birthday or Christmas cards or presents, probably being cut out of their will as well.
All of the above have happened to me.
I encourage people to separate from toxic parents, but just know the extent of all you are signing up for.
Tell her you're leaving. And when she protests, say, "Mom. Thanks for raising me. But I'm 23 now and you don't get to tell me what to do. Come visit. Love you."
I mean, I have a life so...? But to answer your questions. He is employed as a civilian at the base he was previously at. He also receives a very good disability check. I have a job lined up at Panera Bread as an assistant manager, I am currently a shift supervisor in Ohio (so promotion). I will be setting up appointments through University of Texas medical center to continue my treatments for my illness. I agree, there could be some reasons to hesitate. I am continuing schooling online as I will be graduating in 2021 with a bachelor and master degree in public health. He is planning on going to online school in the fall for some general education classes. Again, there are things that could be road blocks. But we decided when I visited that when I move in with him well become official again. Because long distance is stupid to call our relationship official even though were dating. Were just hesitant to tell people because people judge when you get together with an "ex"
OP, these details are important (congratulations, btw; it sounds like you're on track for a good career), because--please be aware, that--we get all kinds of people on C-D asking for advice, so unless you provide a more complete picture of yourself and your bf, we don't know if we're dealing with immature individuals still mentally stuck in adolescence, with little grounding in reality, about to take a step that could put them at risk of all kinds of problems, or if we're dealing with people who have their act together. The snippets of info you gave us in your OP did not inspire confidence. This latest information paints a different picture. Thank you for clarifying your situation. This allows us to tailor advice to your specific situation; we can be of more help to you, if we have more facts.
Really, you have no idea the kinds of situations new posters present to us, especially in the Relationships forum. Don't take it personally, when some of us show concern about a new OP's decision-making abilities, and so on, based on sketchy info. The concern is well-intentioned, and we adjust our advice as you provide more info.
I do believe moving to Texas is what's best for me at this point in my life. I have family here in Ohio that have told me they would be willing to help me if Texas for some reason doesn't work out. I can support myself easily. I have a full time job now that would take me back if needed, and I have a job set up down in Texas.
That's not what you said in a later post; you said you'd barely be able to make rent, if you had to live on your own in TX.
I suggest, that once you get settled into a job, you start a "rainy day" savings account, just in case the relationship doesn't work out, and you need to move out, or maybe move back to Ohio to live with relatives. Everyone should have an emergency fund. If nothing else, it could help you through a patch of unemployment someday. Good luck with your new life!
If you go ahead and leave, tell them afterwards. Send an email and list your reasons, affirm your love for them. Keep it short. They are NOT the first parents ever to have a daughter make a life changing decision which they don’t approve of.
To me, it seems that you are determined to do this. But your biggest worry is health insurance, which you absolutely need. With your promotion, would you be eligible for health insurance through Panera? And, are you sure you have that job lined up?
Before you leave make sure you have money saved back for return trip, in case your plans do not work out.
But, you need assurance of insurance in TX. Research this fully before moving.
It could go very wrong and it could go very right.
I've known a number of people who had struggles and problems and made it through life married to their best friend. There is something about falling in love when you are younger that just seems to work some times.
I would advise sitting down with your Dad and telling him that you have to see if this could work out. Ask for his love and support. He may be disappointed, but he loves you.
Tell your Mom after you load the car. Give her a good hug. Sounds like she has mental health issues as well.
Good luck!
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