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Hmmm, now that I think about it I can think of one person who does this, although IMO it's outright aggressive, not passive aggressive. My kids dad, who was picky when we were younger, has apparently turned into an ahole as he's gotten older. My daughter started refusing to eat out with him a few years ago after an occasion when he repeatedly berated the waitress and reduced her to tears. It's not just substitutions and being fussy about the cooking. Part of it was asking for a drink that wasn't on the menu and then sending it back three times because it wasn't just right. On top of being a complaining, abusive customer he apparently tops off his act with a meager tip. I wouldn't want to go out to eat with him either.
My daughter found she was gluten-intolerant back when she was a teenager, before most people had heard of this.
The biggest eye-opener for me as a result of that was learning how many restaurants put FLOUR into their mashed potatoes. That's just so wrong.
I used to see people ask for substitutions when standing on line at a deli for breakfast before work. "I want the spinach and cheddar omelet, but can you make it with egg whites? And instead of spinach, do you have any broccoli? And I don't want the cheddar, so do you have any provolone? Don't put salt and pepper on it, just a little hot sauce. It comes with toast? Can I get a bagel instead? What? I have to pay extra for a BAGEL? I can't believe you're going to charge me extra for a BAGEL! It doesn't say that anywhere on the menu.
And there I am on line behind these people, starving, needing to get upstairs to the office, and I want to throttle them.
Passive-aggressive relative has decided she needs a gluten-free diet due to her various health issues. Can she order the obviously gluten-free menu items?
Oh, if only.
Every time we go out, it's a lengthy discussion with the wait staff on whether this item contains any gluten or that item can be made without the bread. Do they have gluten-free bread?
Now she's decided she's lactose intolerant as well.
Good grief.
lol. Well, a lot of people do have wheat and gluten issues. It used to go undiagnosed, which in some cases lead to colon cancer over time. Other people may have auto-immune conditions, in which case, some doctors recommend they avoid gluten, to avoid antagonizing the immune system.
But I agree with the gist of your post; there's no need to make a big show of announcing to the table (and probably the nearby ones as well) that one requires gluten-free food, when the menu accommodates that already. Some places do have gluten-free bread. Some pizza purveyors offer gluten-free crust.
What if the world changed to accommodate people like your relative, but she was unhappy, because she would no longer have grounds to make a big display of her "special" needs? Was she neglected as a child, so that now she feels she needs everyone to know that she's "special"? lol
My daughter found she was gluten-intolerant back when she was a teenager, before most people had heard of this.
The biggest eye-opener for me as a result of that was learning how many restaurants put FLOUR into their mashed potatoes. That's just so wrong.
I used to see people ask for substitutions when standing on line at a deli for breakfast before work. "I want the spinach and cheddar omelet, but can you make it with egg whites? And instead of spinach, do you have any broccoli? And I don't want the cheddar, so do you have any provolone? Don't put salt and pepper on it, just a little hot sauce. It comes with toast? Can I get a bagel instead? What? I have to pay extra for a BAGEL? I can't believe you're going to charge me extra for a BAGEL! It doesn't say that anywhere on the menu.
And there I am on line behind these people, starving, needing to get upstairs to the office, and I want to throttle them.
I have a friend who is rather picky. Or as my grandmother used to say "particular".
At our last outing, she has a complaint about the way her food was prepared. The waitress offered to have a new dish prepared. No, that wouldn't do. I offered to exchange meals with her. That wouldn't do.
When presented with the bill, the waitress said the cost of the main dish had been deducted. No, she didn't like that. Wanted charge added back in, waitress said couldn't do that. Friend very unhappy. WTF.
If I wasn't willing to accept the substitute, I would have kept my complaints to myself.
"No, I said a cheeseburger without the cheese! Ugh!!"
I think that is how McDonalds does it, if I recall they don't have a "double hamburger", if you want a double hamburger you have to order double cheeseburger with no cheese.
It's not quite as extreme as Jack Nicholson getting angry in the diner scene of "Five Easy Pieces" but this is sort of along the same lines.
What do you think when your lunch or dinner companion always wants to order special items that either aren't listed on the menu, or else always wants to modify the available menu items? Some go so far as to almost describe something that the waiter has never heard of.
I want to think the best of these people. But sometimes they make me nervous, and I worry that they might be offending the wait staff by being overly demanding. Even though, at the same time, something tells me that there might be a method to their madness.
What do you think of these people? Do you enjoy eating out with them?
I had a boyfriend who did this many years ago. He would say 'I want what I want' and yes, he was a controlling a$$hole which is why I broke up with him.
What do you think when your lunch or dinner companion always wants to order special items that either aren't listed on the menu, or else always wants to modify the available menu items?
Take 'em to Burger King. Problem solved!
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