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Old 04-27-2019, 10:41 PM
 
11,210 posts, read 8,347,320 times
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I like your spunk, OP! I had a toxic mother. Once I stopped taking it personally it became laughable. That really aggravated her, having no power over me.
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Old 04-28-2019, 07:47 AM
 
632 posts, read 232,170 times
Reputation: 1673
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliffie View Post
That's a remarkable story. I can see your wanting to walk away with no further contact, but I can also see what the other C-D posters are saying about the fee for acting as your mother's executor. If it were me I would consider it hazardous duty pay for having to put up with such toxic people as long as you did.
I agree with the OP. To me, no money is worth the headache of performing the duty and bringing back all the bad memories. Let the lazy "Golden Child" to take the responsibility to get his inheritance.

When you don't care about your parents' money, estate, etc., you feel free from them.
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Old 04-28-2019, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Fuquay Varina
4,530 posts, read 6,604,961 times
Reputation: 11197
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnOrdinaryCitizen View Post
I agree with the OP. To me, no money is worth the headache of performing the duty and bringing back all the bad memories. Let the lazy "Golden Child" to take the responsibility to get his inheritance.

When you don't care about your parents' money, estate, etc., you feel free from them.
I think that most people saying go for the fee have not had to deal with really toxic family like that.

I agree that no amount would be worth it do put myself back there.
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Old 04-28-2019, 09:25 AM
 
6,620 posts, read 4,563,166 times
Reputation: 13253
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curly Q. Bobalink View Post
My first thought was, "What a peach she has for a brother", but then I corrected that to "Nah, he's the pits". If I were to fault you at all, it would have been for not disconnecting your phone after about the third ill-timed harassing call. Good riddance to this parasitic fool, and Happy Trails to you, they are well-deserved.

Can you imagine what a world this would be if you could unwillingly be "drafted" to the position of Executor? I am my Aunt's Executor, and know it's a pain in the neck position, especially since I've got cousins who will no doubt be circling above the nursing home before the body's cold. My first decision will be to consult with an attorney who will advise me as to my rights and responsibilities, mostly to stifle the inevitable wailing of the Peanut Gallery who feel they've been mistreated in some way, even though the will is pretty clear as to who gets what, and will likely be below the probate threshold in my state. I plan to act ethically and faithfully in these duties, but probably won't be able to resist cracking a smile when some of the more worthless relatives realize they're not in for as much as they thought they'd be. It would have been OK with me if her entire estate had been consumed by her care, but she just entered hospice, so it doesn't look like that will happen. Anyhoo, hope you have a more peaceful future.
Thank you! Iím sorry youíre about to lose your aunt. I hope people behave well once sheís gone, but the lure of money makes some people crazy. Iím glad Iím out of the picture with my momís estate. Peace and sanity are worth far more than money.
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:11 PM
 
802 posts, read 436,645 times
Reputation: 739
c
Quote:
Originally Posted by UNC4Me View Post
I would have been happy to continue a cordial relationship with both my mother and my brother. But, once I said no to their requests for money that was impossible. Hourly phone calls for weeks on end and at all hours. And they weren’t pleasant to say the least. Screaming, name calling, threats against me and my family. I wasn’t the angry one. They were enraged that I wouldn’t turn over my inheritance from my dad to them. Maybe you would put up with that sort of treatment, but I would not.

My brother was deemed to be a perfectly capable executor until this rift. Then she changed her will to disinherit me and removed him as an executor and gave that job solely to me. It was simply a way to punish me for my refusal to give them money. My brother knew all about this change. His letter made that clear as he ordered me to get busy getting him his money. His opening line was “Here’s Mom’s will. Sucks to be you.” He thought I had no choice but to serve as executor. He was wrong.

I have no idea what you’re talking about when you say according to my culture. My culture is American. My mothers is American. Same with my dad. My family has been in this country for centuries so it’s not like there some sort of old country tradition at play here. What is at play is a vindictive mother and a greedy brother who will no longer be able to command any of my time or impact my life in any way.
Look read carefully what I'm going to say.

We as posters are strangers at the end. We don't fully aware of whole the problem or conflicts between you and your mother & brother.
As a stranger, to read that they wanted you to give up your right of your father's inheritance, it doesn't make any sense. But why would they got mad over something anybody would see it doesn't make sense?! There must be more to the story. Even if you see that they are wrong, still we need to understand that resentment your mom had and overacting came from where?

I know stories (actually stories) in reality that when you hear it, you already would say that person doesn't have any right. But when you go deeply to the details, you would understand the reason that makes someone ask for something seems non of his right. I'm not saying he is right, but when you know the WHOLE story, you would understand better why he would feel the way he felt, you would understand better. And you might even feel sorry for that simple person. No one knows your family issue in details and no one has right to know. My point is we don't know everything after all; we didn't talk to all the conflicted parts. I know overall that these conflicts and misunderstanding happen and could happen anyway. I still disagree with you to cut your mom off for years over it.

Look at what I colored in red. I know that's bothering and bad and made you lose temper and mad. But, do you want to say that_if you came to your mother after months or even one year_ for instance, and sent her text msg, she's gonna reply in a toxic way, and she will yell at you, and say all these hurt things ???
I don't think so. I'm I believe that there was no any beautiful moments between you and her that could help to remove that dark cloud?
Your mother might not be perfect but you also are not perfect. Be realistic. When I wrote to you I disagree to cut her off, I'm not talking about any person, or any relative. I specified your mother, the one who gave birth to you and raised you. In a very difficult condition, let's say unbearable mom, just keep even a formal relationship. Make it like this. At least, It's better than nothing.

On the other hand, I'm not convinced of your explanation or interpretation to your mother's attitude. You still thought that she wanted to punish you by making you THE executor to the will that you will not get anything from it.

There is something missing here.

You bought this easily, it's been years since you stopped communication with her and you still thinking that she's still mad and she wanted to punish you. Your mother definitely would have been upset over cutting her off but not necessarily over the money that she didn't have right to take it ( according to what I understood)

Look, overall, I don't see that you handle the situation well whether in her life, or after her death. Look at these points that I will shed light on it here, it's up to you to listen or not, I just write my view.

1- You shouldn't have replied to your brother immediately after receiving his letter; think first.

2- Since you were set as the will's executor, MAKE SURE to get the ORIGINAL WILL not a copy that came from a person who originally had conflicts/misunderstanding with you, even if he's your brother. I have right to doubt here especially when I read your description and feeling to the relationship with your sibling.

3- You thought that your brother is capable to be an executor and the reason your mother changed her will was only to remove him and put you instead, then avoid you from the legacy. I REALLY don't buy it.
Look, than you and might not understand life better but I do know logically if one day I have something has value, I know I I'll NEVER think to put someone who I hate and not trust to be an executor to my business.

You could argue that she made it in order to punish you. This is more not make sense!! I'm not convinced. Wake up!
It's really a stupid thing to honor someone who you don't trust and have a problem with by giving him permissions over your business.

I will ask you, what guarantee that her executor (that she wanted to be punished) not MISUSE the permissions that she had given to her?

4- You don't want want problems and no one want that; you want peace and nothing worth peace. It's not about money or problems, it's about your mother's desire. She chose you to be her executor for A REASON. And she's not here to reply on your thinking; she's dead now, so don't depend on all what your brother said about her.

5- I still see to still be the executor to your mother's will.

In relation to this statement that reported about your brother " Here’s Mom’s will. Sucks to be you"
If I don't misunderstood the term, I just see an unhappy person who STOPPED on the executor (YOU) to take his part of the will and can't do anything without going first to the executor. Do you really still think that he agreed with your mother to make you an executor, then come to u to say: give me my right while he originally had a conflict with you? I really don't think so.

BTW, when I said according to your culture, I mean according to what you follow in regarding to inheritance issue whatever was. Maybe I should have said laws. I read what you wrote and I depend on it. The legacy issue and laws are different from a place to a place. And it has a lot of details. So I'm just depending exactly on what you stated, what you're telling us, without giving my belief about it.



Good luck

Last edited by Authentic Bird; 04-28-2019 at 12:19 PM.. Reason: to add the word "my"
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:23 PM
 
6,620 posts, read 4,563,166 times
Reputation: 13253
Quote:
Originally Posted by Authentic Bird View Post
c

Look read carefully what I'm going to say.

We as posters are strangers at the end. We don't fully aware of whole the problem or conflicts between you and your mother & brother.
As a stranger, to read that they wanted you to give up your right of your father's inheritance, it doesn't make any sense. But why would they got mad over something anybody would see it doesn't make sense?! There must be more to the story. Even if you see that they are wrong, still we need to understand that resentment your mom had and overacting came from where?

I know stories (actually stories) in reality that when you hear it, you already would say that person doesn't have any right. But when you go deeply to the details, you would understand the reason that makes someone ask for something seems non of his right. I'm not saying he is right, but when you know the WHOLE story, you would understand better why he would feel the way he felt, you would understand better. And you might even feel sorry for that simple person. No one knows your family issue in details and no one has right to know. My point is we don't know everything after all; we didn't talk to all the conflicted parts. I know overall that these conflicts and misunderstanding happen and could happen anyway. I still disagree with you to cut your mom off for years over it.

Look at what I colored in red. I know that's bothering and bad and made you lose temper and mad. But, do you want to say that_if you came to your mother after months or even one year_ for instance, and sent her text msg, she's gonna reply in a toxic way, and she will yell at you, and say all these hurt things ???
I don't think so. I'm I believe that there was no any beautiful moments between you and her that could help to remove that dark cloud?
Your mother might not be perfect but you also are not perfect. Be realistic. When I wrote to you I disagree to cut her off, I'm not talking about any person, or any relative. I specified your mother, the one who gave birth to you and raised you. In a very difficult condition, let's say unbearable mom, just keep even a formal relationship. Make it like this. At least, It's better than nothing.

On the other hand, I'm not convinced of your explanation or interpretation to your mother's attitude. You still thought that she wanted to punish you by making you THE executor to the will that you will not get anything from it.

There is something missing here.

You bought this easily, it's been years since you stopped communication with her and you still thinking that she's still mad and she wanted to punish you. Your mother definitely would have been upset over cutting her off but not necessarily over the money that she didn't have right to take it ( according to what I understood)

Look, overall, I don't see that you handle the situation well whether in her life, or after her death. Look at these points that I will shed light on it here, it's up to you to listen or not, I just write my view.

1- You shouldn't have replied to your brother immediately after receiving his letter; think first.

2- Since you were set as the will's executor, MAKE SURE to get the ORIGINAL WILL not a copy that came from a person who originally had conflicts/misunderstanding with you, even if he's your brother. I have right to doubt here especially when I read your description and feeling to the relationship with your sibling.

3- You thought that your brother is capable to be an executor and the reason your mother changed her will was only to remove him and put you instead, then avoid you from the legacy. I REALLY don't buy it.
Look than you and might not understand life better but I do know logically if one day I have something has value, I know I I'll NEVER think to put someone who I hate and not trust to be an executor to my business.

You could argue that she made it in order to punish you. This is more not make sense!! I'm not convinced. Wake up!
It's really a stupid thing to honor someone who you don't trust and have a problem with by giving him permissions over your business.

I will ask you, what guarantee that her executor (that she wanted to be punished) not MISUSE the permissions that she had given to her?

4- You don't want want problems and no one want that; you want peace and nothing worth peace. It's not about money or problems, it's about your mother's desire. She chose you to be her executor for A REASON. And she's not here to reply on your thinking; she's dead now, so don't depend on all what your brother said about her.

5- I still see to still be the executor to your mother's will.

In relation to this statement that reported about your brother " Here’s Mom’s will. Sucks to be you"
If I don't misunderstood the term, I just see an unhappy person who STOPPED on the executor (YOU) to take his part of the will and can't do anything without going first to the executor. Do you really still think that he agreed with your mother to make you an executor, then come to u to say: give me your right while he originally had a conflict with you? I really don't think so.



BTW, when I said according to your culture, I mean according to what you follow in regarding to inheritance issue whatever was. Maybe I should have said laws. I read what you wrote and I depend on it. The legacy issue and laws are different from a place to a place. And it has a lot of details. So I'm just depending exactly on what you stated, what you're telling us, without giving my belief about it.



Good luck
You’re right. It made no sense for them to want me to give them my inheritance from my dad. But, desperate crazy people seldom make sense. In their view the money my dad left them was “family” money and so they were entitled to it as family. My brother got the exact same amount I did when my father died. My mother got a huge amount. Once they wasted that money, they were desperate to get money so my brother could continue his life of leisure. That’s when they came after me trying to guilt me into giving them my inheritance. I was never mad. They were and they made my life hell because of it. I cut them off so I could have peace and not be attacked on a daily basis.

If my brother changed the copy he sent me of the will, so what? Do you think I care if he gets her estate? Nope. If my mother had money left, he’s welcome to it. I don’t want anything from her. I’ve taken care of myself and my family with no assistance from her financially or otherwise for many decades. My brother can’t even hold a job. No telling what will happen when he runs out of whatever he gets. He was given a college education, he was given 300k and he spent most of the money my dad left my mother on houses, cars, boats and exotic vacations. He’s gotten his, he’ll never get a dime of mine.

In the US, anyone named executor in a will has the right to refuse. I exercised that right. I don’t want to have to deal with my brother in any way. Even if my mother made me executor due to her love and high regard for me, I still would refuse since it would mean dealing with him. Given I was still getting hateful letters from her on a regular basis before she died makes me think she didn’t change her will but for one reason, a final slap in the face. I can’t say it worked. I stopped caring what she thought a long time ago.

Last edited by UNC4Me; 04-28-2019 at 12:48 PM..
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:34 PM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,419,517 times
Reputation: 10980
Quote:
Originally Posted by UNC4Me View Post
Youíre right. It made no sense for them to want me to give them my inheritance from my dad. But, desperate crazy people seldom make sense. In their view the money my dad left them was ďfamilyĒ money and so they were entitled to it as family. My brother got the exact same amount I did when my father died. My mother got a huge amount. Once they wasted that money, they were desperate to get money so my brother could continue his life of leisure. Thatís when they came after me trying to guilt me into giving them my inheritance.

Would you maintain contact with people who called you to yell at you at all hours of the day or night? Would you maintain contact with people who threatened you and your family? Please do if youíd like, I didnít and Iím fine with my decision.
This is because you are a healthy, sane, rational person.


You already know this, but it needs to be said for those who seem to feel compelled to shame you for your very reasonable choices: You don't owe anyone an explanation, and you don't need anyone's approval.


(BTW, that was a very kind and sane response to an extremely ill-informed, sanctimonious, and judgmental screed that barely made any sense.)
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:46 PM
 
1,610 posts, read 735,116 times
Reputation: 8789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Authentic Bird View Post
c

Look read carefully what I'm going to say.

We as posters are strangers at the end. We don't fully aware of whole the problem or conflicts between you and your mother & brother.
As a stranger, to read that they wanted you to give up your right of your father's inheritance, it doesn't make any sense. But why would they got mad over something anybody would see it doesn't make sense?! There must be more to the story. Even if you see that they are wrong, still we need to understand that resentment your mom had and overacting came from where?

I know stories (actually stories) in reality that when you hear it, you already would say that person doesn't have any right. But when you go deeply to the details, you would understand the reason that makes someone ask for something seems non of his right. I'm not saying he is right, but when you know the WHOLE story, you would understand better why he would feel the way he felt, you would understand better. And you might even feel sorry for that simple person. No one knows your family issue in details and no one has right to know. My point is we don't know everything after all; we didn't talk to all the conflicted parts. I know overall that these conflicts and misunderstanding happen and could happen anyway. I still disagree with you to cut your mom off for years over it.

Look at what I colored in red. I know that's bothering and bad and made you lose temper and mad. But, do you want to say that_if you came to your mother after months or even one year_ for instance, and sent her text msg, she's gonna reply in a toxic way, and she will yell at you, and say all these hurt things ???
I don't think so. I'm I believe that there was no any beautiful moments between you and her that could help to remove that dark cloud?
Your mother might not be perfect but you also are not perfect. Be realistic. When I wrote to you I disagree to cut her off, I'm not talking about any person, or any relative. I specified your mother, the one who gave birth to you and raised you. In a very difficult condition, let's say unbearable mom, just keep even a formal relationship. Make it like this. At least, It's better than nothing.

On the other hand, I'm not convinced of your explanation or interpretation to your mother's attitude. You still thought that she wanted to punish you by making you THE executor to the will that you will not get anything from it.

There is something missing here.

You bought this easily, it's been years since you stopped communication with her and you still thinking that she's still mad and she wanted to punish you. Your mother definitely would have been upset over cutting her off but not necessarily over the money that she didn't have right to take it ( according to what I understood)

Look, overall, I don't see that you handle the situation well whether in her life, or after her death. Look at these points that I will shed light on it here, it's up to you to listen or not, I just write my view.

1- You shouldn't have replied to your brother immediately after receiving his letter; think first.

2- Since you were set as the will's executor, MAKE SURE to get the ORIGINAL WILL not a copy that came from a person who originally had conflicts/misunderstanding with you, even if he's your brother. I have right to doubt here especially when I read your description and feeling to the relationship with your sibling.

3- You thought that your brother is capable to be an executor and the reason your mother changed her will was only to remove him and put you instead, then avoid you from the legacy. I REALLY don't buy it.
Look, than you and might not understand life better but I do know logically if one day I have something has value, I know I I'll NEVER think to put someone who I hate and not trust to be an executor to my business.

You could argue that she made it in order to punish you. This is more not make sense!! I'm not convinced. Wake up!
It's really a stupid thing to honor someone who you don't trust and have a problem with by giving him permissions over your business.

I will ask you, what guarantee that her executor (that she wanted to be punished) not MISUSE the permissions that she had given to her?

4- You don't want want problems and no one want that; you want peace and nothing worth peace. It's not about money or problems, it's about your mother's desire. She chose you to be her executor for A REASON. And she's not here to reply on your thinking; she's dead now, so don't depend on all what your brother said about her.

5- I still see to still be the executor to your mother's will.

In relation to this statement that reported about your brother " Here’s Mom’s will. Sucks to be you"
If I don't misunderstood the term, I just see an unhappy person who STOPPED on the executor (YOU) to take his part of the will and can't do anything without going first to the executor. Do you really still think that he agreed with your mother to make you an executor, then come to u to say: give me my right while he originally had a conflict with you? I really don't think so.

BTW, when I said according to your culture, I mean according to what you follow in regarding to inheritance issue whatever was. Maybe I should have said laws. I read what you wrote and I depend on it. The legacy issue and laws are different from a place to a place. And it has a lot of details. So I'm just depending exactly on what you stated, what you're telling us, without giving my belief about it.



Good luck
Buddy, you're the one that needs to Wake up! and stop harassing the OP with all the what-ifs and what-she-should-have-dones. She's the one who's living it, not you. You don't need to "be convinced" or to "buy it." You said one true thing: "We don't fully aware of whole the problem or conflicts between you and your mother & brother." You have now twice stated your very lengthy opinion of all the ways you believe she is/was wrong. You are belaboring "your points" to the point of ridiculousness.

It's a beautiful day. Go take a walk. Maybe she'll give you brother's address and you can go sympathize with him.
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Old 04-28-2019, 01:13 PM
 
7,356 posts, read 13,173,380 times
Reputation: 8906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Authentic Bird View Post

Look read carefully what I'm going to say.

We as posters are strangers at the end. We don't fully aware of whole the problem or conflicts between you and your mother & brother.
As a stranger, to read that they wanted you to give up your right of your father's inheritance, it doesn't make any sense. But why would they got mad over something anybody would see it doesn't make sense?! There must be more to the story. Even if you see that they are wrong, still we need to understand that resentment your mom had and overacting came from where?

I know stories (actually stories) in reality that when you hear it, you already would say that person doesn't have any right. But when you go deeply to the details, you would understand the reason that makes someone ask for something seems non of his right. I'm not saying he is right, but when you know the WHOLE story, you would understand better why he would feel the way he felt, you would understand better. And you might even feel sorry for that simple person. No one knows your family issue in details and no one has right to know. My point is we don't know everything after all; we didn't talk to all the conflicted parts. I know overall that these conflicts and misunderstanding happen and could happen anyway. I still disagree with you to cut your mom off for years over it.

Look at what I colored in red. I know that's bothering and bad and made you lose temper and mad. But, do you want to say that_if you came to your mother after months or even one year_ for instance, and sent her text msg, she's gonna reply in a toxic way, and she will yell at you, and say all these hurt things ???
I don't think so. I'm I believe that there was no any beautiful moments between you and her that could help to remove that dark cloud?
Your mother might not be perfect but you also are not perfect. Be realistic. When I wrote to you I disagree to cut her off, I'm not talking about any person, or any relative. I specified your mother, the one who gave birth to you and raised you. In a very difficult condition, let's say unbearable mom, just keep even a formal relationship. Make it like this. At least, It's better than nothing.
No. You can't make that kind of generalities. Sometimes nothing IS better. We can only control our own behavior, but this doesn't mean we have to accept abuse and boundary intrusions at all, even if it is family.


Quote:
On the other hand, I'm not convinced of your explanation or interpretation to your mother's attitude. You still thought that she wanted to punish you by making you THE executor to the will that you will not get anything from it.

There is something missing here.

You bought this easily, it's been years since you stopped communication with her and you still thinking that she's still mad and she wanted to punish you. Your mother definitely would have been upset over cutting her off but not necessarily over the money that she didn't have right to take it ( according to what I understood)

Look, overall, I don't see that you handle the situation well whether in her life, or after her death. Look at these points that I will shed light on it here, it's up to you to listen or not, I just write my view.

1- You shouldn't have replied to your brother immediately after receiving his letter; think first.

2- Since you were set as the will's executor, MAKE SURE to get the ORIGINAL WILL not a copy that came from a person who originally had conflicts/misunderstanding with you, even if he's your brother. I have right to doubt here especially when I read your description and feeling to the relationship with your sibling.

3- You thought that your brother is capable to be an executor and the reason your mother changed her will was only to remove him and put you instead, then avoid you from the legacy. I REALLY don't buy it.
Look, than you and might not understand life better but I do know logically if one day I have something has value, I know I I'll NEVER think to put someone who I hate and not trust to be an executor to my business.

You could argue that she made it in order to punish you. This is more not make sense!! I'm not convinced. Wake up!
It's really a stupid thing to honor someone who you don't trust and have a problem with by giving him permissions over your business.

I will ask you, what guarantee that her executor (that she wanted to be punished) not MISUSE the permissions that she had given to her?

4- You don't want want problems and no one want that; you want peace and nothing worth peace. It's not about money or problems, it's about your mother's desire. She chose you to be her executor for A REASON. And she's not here to reply on your thinking; she's dead now, so don't depend on all what your brother said about her.

5- I still see to still be the executor to your mother's will.

In relation to this statement that reported about your brother " Hereís Momís will. Sucks to be you"
If I don't misunderstood the term, I just see an unhappy person who STOPPED on the executor (YOU) to take his part of the will and can't do anything without going first to the executor. Do you really still think that he agreed with your mother to make you an executor, then come to u to say: give me my right while he originally had a conflict with you? I really don't think so.

BTW, when I said according to your culture, I mean according to what you follow in regarding to inheritance issue whatever was. Maybe I should have said laws. I read what you wrote and I depend on it. The legacy issue and laws are different from a place to a place. And it has a lot of details. So I'm just depending exactly on what you stated, what you're telling us, without giving my belief about it.

Good luck
Nope. One is not obligated to take on that task if they don't want to.

It actually doesn't even matter if they were on good or bad terms. Being an executor sucks and takes way too long to deal with. I'm on good terms with my siblings, there was never any in-fighting, no friction-- whatever I decided, so it went. Which is a supremely ideal situation. (Don't worry, I did everything fairly because well, I'm not looking for that kind of repercussions.) But... it was still an unpleasant and tedious experience. I wouldn't blame anyone for bypassing that responsibility.

The OP knows her brother and knows it'll be even more trouble than it's worth. She has all the right to skip it. It is definitely the right thing to do for the OP.
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Old 04-28-2019, 02:18 PM
 
802 posts, read 436,645 times
Reputation: 739
OMG what happened!!!

I wrote my view as every body else. The difference in this time that I have another view that was different than all of you; I can't say that I agree if I disagree about something. And if you read my comment carefully, you will find that I already stated that no one knows the whole story.

For those posters who seem angry and went faraway:

If you expect others to agree on everything written and be always with OP, (any OP not only in this thread). Then, any OP should state frankly that he/she just came to vent and please clap to me. In other words, he needs to say" if you agree with me, write a comment; if not, don't write anything". Then, I'll respect his/her desire. Because I'll know that if I have another view, he/she definitely will misunderstand it.

On the other hand, I read some responses of other posters but NOT all responses, so if there is somone feels that my comment were directed to him, then I'll say: he's wrong, I have no idea what you are talking about. I was talking to the OP. I focused on what she stated.

To the Chaofan:
Calm down, this is your thinking not the fact or what I meant.

To the CatzPaw:
Don't twist my comment please; there is no harassment here. I wrote my veiw, and no one can force you nor force OP to read or even do something out of your will. Re-read my comment out at this beautiful day, you may see it as it is actually.

To the Inkope:
My comment was to the OP's story, I have no idea about yours. Also, I didn't say she's obligated. I said I still see to consider being an executor. It's my opinion.


Good luck for all
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